thanks for figures princess.

its 1 in 4 in the uk for adult women experinseing rape and sexule abuse.

whats wrong with our culture that this happens.

dose anyone know of a culture weer child/adult rape abuse dose't happen as apposed to not being reported on?

Chatty is right. Men go after the meek, mild tempered kids, youngsters already suffering. Those men around my childhood home
knew I was abandoned. I was little and they were big. And so they
inflicted pain atop heartache; guess that made 'em feel more powerful than ever.

This I am grateful for. All of us who have shared here, can thank Dotsie for providing this forum, where we can empty out.
I find it so healing and such a release, just to empty out from time to time.

I remember Joyce Meyer saying she was doing a seminar in a foreign country; and she was talking about sex abuse. She said
women 70 years old and older were coming forward with tears
streaming down their faces. The auditorium was filled abused
women walking forward for prayer. This sex abuse thing is a
world wide issue!

Ladies, to help with the discussion, Dotsie would like for you to be able to hear this teleseminar given by our own Lynn Tolson for the NABBW.

Sexual Assault: A Silent Epidemic with Tragic Consequences

Thanks for posting the link JJ. I hope everyone will take the time to listen. Lynn did a fabulous job addressing this topic personally and professionally. Go Lynn.

It was also her idea to add this link for all who are suffering or have suffered in the past.

Great idea Lynn. Thank you.

I shouldn't have to own this book:

Nobody should. It should never have had to be written.

It's not just fear that keep children silent, but the terribly conflicting fact that these children love their fathers. It is confusing. And it does ruin lives. You can go on, live, be happy, but nothing will ever take that abuse away.

My heartfelt hugs to all the women here who have experienced sexual abuse. Sadly, there are many of us (and men) in the world.

Who is Joyce Meyer? I hope the repeat of Dotsie's teleseminar is helpful in putting puzzle pieces together. Orchid, the dermatologist could have just asked about your maturing process. He was totally inappropriate. Wow, my mom would have questioned it to herself, but she would not disobey a doctor. We were of such Italian patriarchal culture that a woman did not dare question a man who was in some position of "authority." I don't recall learning of societies without child abuse. Good question. My mother and grandmother were protective, but they could not protect one from another in the same family! As for older women telling their stories (for lack of a better word) if you go on myspace, you will see pages of victims/survivors/supporters of all kinds of abuse, including incest. What is happening is that the younger generation has the means in which to tell. In our generation, there was no one to tell, no way to tell. We could never be anonymous in telling, even in Confession. And the consequenses to perpetrator in our generation were so minimal, like early retirement. One of my uncles was a city councilman. Talk about sleep overs. When I was 12, I was sleeping over with my cousin (his daughter)and in the middle of the night he came into the room and molested her. Only I did not know that is what the experience was called. I only know that I was scared to death. I thought, oh no, not me, not him, not here. Next couple of years, he was caught with other children, it was in the newspaper, yet his only consequence was to "step down." All 3 of his children are so messed up it isn't even possible to know where to start. So, although it is not always pleasant to talk about this topic, know that molestation is not to be minimized. It is a totally damaging experience, and even changes our brain chemistry and pathways. I am glad that you find this place a safe place to share what can't be held in, lest it drive you crazy. L, PL

Mij, you're right, you shouldn't have to own that book. However, it looks like there is a truth that has to be owned up to in order for the healing to begin/continue. You are courageous to recognize that truth. Sadly, I am not a "believer" in ideal, blissful, total and complete healing. I wish I could be proved wrong... I'd like to know what complete healing looks and feels like. I think that survivors can learn to be as fully-functioning as possible, and that means a different way for each one. Some are functioning if they get out of bed in the morning. I wonder often who I might have been had I not had those experiences. In my case, it was not so much that I was the weaker one. It was that I was the brighter one, the lighter brighter little being, and my brother wanted to snuff out my light, as did my father. Don't they say that vampires or is it devils that can't stand the light? Well, I don't want to steer this thread off into a direction not intended. This is a discussion that pertains to so, so many that it is sad, sad, sad.

i am still listening to your teleseminare, so your right thanks is perhapps to be given to lynn for telling her storie and for you all thinking to post it heer.

I am still listening and typing but might not make it to the end tonight as its 4 .30 am

i just like to say well done for rembering and thinking it imp[ortan enough to mention that sexule abuse dose still happen within male or female with same sex partners, same as violense etc.

i still listening so i sure i have a few more questions when (now or tommorow when i get to finishe listwening)


just one qustion lynn, you commented on mijj belife and your counter belife in total healng....your quote... "Sadly, I am not a "believer" in ideal, blissful, total and complete healing. I wish I could be proved wrong... I'd like to know what complete healing looks and feels like. I think that survivors can learn to be as fully-functioning as possible, and that means a different way for each one"

i take the point that for some getting up in the nmorning is functioning at thir best. Ise't this a station on a very long rail journay or do you mean its as good as it gets for that person? (have i understood you correctie heer or reprisenting you right?)

why ise't total recovery possible for all people? in your oppinion?

IMO I think it could be possible for all people i just wonderring why you think its not and what is getting in their way?

I am just worrieing somewhat that your perhapps giving up on the person by not seeing them (all) as being capable for being totalie functioning to coin a phraze (whatever total functioning is)

what is healing or being healed in your oppinion? indivduel diffrense aside what is the "best" example of healing youv experinsed either personalie or have witnessed, whats it look like for you?

Hi CF, I'll have to think about your question, ok? Thanks for asking, and for listening to the seminar.

I don't think a person totally heals from childhood abuse.
But I do think it helps to release the miserable events
from within: I call it emptying out and/or releasing pain.
Some things you learn to live with. And some things you never
get over. There are flashbacks. Word associations bring
events forefront in the mind. You're easily hurt. You're super
sensitive, in some areas. But sharing with those who have been
through similar circumstances, seems to help ease the pressure
of the pain, which builds up with time. It's like any wound,
if poisonous toxins are NOT released, it just festers and gets worse. Ease the pressure and at least you get some relief.

I haven't had time to listen to that "Assault" video but I will!