I know there are good and bad employees, and good and bad bosses in every profession. But elderly people, especially those that have been abused, need tender, loving care. And I guess my heart is particularly sensitive to my friend. I know too that working with the elderly is difficult. I couldn't do what these aids and nurses do. For one thing, I have a weak stomach and frail nerves. But nursing is not the place for anything other than warmth and compassion. I'm sure it's easy to get burnout in that profession. And I do feel sorry for caregivers. All I can say is: God help them and the people they're suppose to help.

Jabber, that's really the bottom line, isn't it. I too have the utmost respect and compassion for the nurses and the stress, burnout and difficulties they face every single day of their working lives. There's no way I could do that joy, no way!!! And I'm profoundly grateful for those who DO do that job.

But no matter how much compassion and understanding we have for the caregivers, we cannot "unsee" the distress and inadvertent neglect that our loved ones suffer. I would dearly love to see the health care environment improve so that nursing staff are not under such terrible pressure - but the sad reality is that illness doesn't hit a person at someone else's convenience, and basic needs don't wait for those improvements to be implemented.

Advocacy for the patient and prayer for the caregivers...I personally don't know what else to do when you're outside of the profession yet inside the suffering of a loved one.

Nurses, to me, should be saluted. They fall into a similar category as the military, for me. I've been around enough to say it's a 'gross' job. When in the position to do so, I help as I can, without making them look as if their service is lacking... I, too, have made beds, held potty tools, cleaned up cr**, fetched food, applied medicines and bandaging, etc. I've visited rooms where other patients can't seem to settle to talk, read or sing (and I can't sing) to them. Since the majority of the hospital visits have been for my older relatives, the beds have been filled with the older generation. It's a close race as to which my heart goes out to the most - the older generation and baby/children, even though children and babies have more advocates and tend to have better nurses, aides and techs.

I had my first encounter, (close,) with a man with dementia the other day. He was brought in from his nursing home because he fell. To their credit, the nursing home sent a rep, and the wife was called, she lives at home while he is in the home.
It was hard to deal with because he kept trying to get off the gurney. I had to take him to x-ray and that was a trip on his gurney for him. It was hard to keep him on it when he was not making any sense so I could not make sense to him! Later, his wife needed a break when he was in the E.R. so I offered to stay with him while she took a break. I felt a bit scared as I tried to stop him from taking off his blanket where he was pretty much undressed underneath.
I came to understand what it is to have a person you care about have dementia. His wife seemed fine though and did not complain. She told me that she could not take it full time so she put him into the nursing home. He seems to know her though and when she is around he behaves better.
Just thought I'd vent this here, where we are talking about nurses and I work with patients all the time.
Dancer9

I think Washington's death with dignity law should be applauded!
It was 5 years ago that I visited many nursing homes around Atlanta thinking it was time to find one for my mother. I sure hope they are getting better because what I saw was really disturbing! Of course, I was looking at Medicaid homes, perhaps the ones for people who can pay are nicer? Anyway, I ended up quiting my job and moving her in here. Just could not have put my worst enemy in some of the ones I saw.

Interesting points, Anne. In hospice, all we can do is to medicate and make sure they do not suffer. But of course, the wait for death is there. That's all we can do.

Anne, your clients are very blessed to have you as their caregiver. I really love the tenderness in your voice when you talk about them. I would be so lucky to have someone like you in my corner when the time comes.