bekya, attitude is everything. SOunds like you are doing well.

You mention that divorce isn't allowed in your country. Is that because of your faith? What happens if sone does become divorced? Are they shunned by society?

Hi Dotsie!
Yes, there is no divorce law here and i could attribute that to the fact that we are a catholic country, meaning most of the population practices catholicism. Couples who decided to separate for good can file for a legal separation or annulment which is done in court if they are married in civil rites and church annulment if they are married in church...Most Filipinos who want to get married again either go out of the country or convert into another religion...

I find this very sad. I believe in marriage wholehearted. Don't get me wrong. But I know there are women who suffer at the hands of their spouses and this saddens me that they must feel no escape. I'm so glad this isn't your case.

hello! im just suffering emotionally but not physically....and i am able to go thru life by holding on to God, seeing His everyday blessings in our lives....i still have sad moments from time to time, just flashes and doesnt make me feel depress or down...i could truly say that i am able to deal with the pain well....i have my kids, family and friends, what more can i ask for? God Bless u all here....

Bekya, I am so happy to hear that your faith is sustaining you. I hope you'll consider joining us in the other forums as you have time.

hello everybody!

i hope everything is well for all of u...am reading a book by one of the Filipino pastors, its about "Your freedom-power for SUCCESS"...it was given to me by my sis-in-law, sister of my husband...it really helps me when i read inspirational stories and messages...but there are still moments in my life when i have questions...there are still moments that i think of my husband but not about the happy moments but the pain and hurts....i know God is working on me...i trust and believe in His power....am more concerned now becos of whats happening in my kids' lives especially in their school performance...for the first grading, they have dropped from their top 10 class standing...am sadden with this...u think they were affected with what happened between me and their dad? i dont want to think about it and would like to think and believe subjects and school activities are become harder now....my hubby and i havent talked to them together...it was only i who told them about our separation, that me and their dad will not be living together now...my kids' ages are 11, 9 and 7...they dont know whats happening in their dad's life...all they know is that he's busy with his job...i hope u can give me some advice and messages...thanks and God bless to all...
Bekya

Bekya I am sure that as the children move up into higher grades the structure of the assignments become much harder. I would be lying not to say that what is going on between you and your husband has affected the children to some extent. They are at very impressional ages, not babies but certainly not old enough either to make any sense of it. Children are always affected even if they are adults themselves and have their own children. Be as honest with them as you can and always keep them in the loop. I mean share what is going on so they don't feel to blame in any way. I hope and pray your ordael gets easier and know that the children will be alright as time passes. Just remember they are more perceptive than we like to believe so be honest with them always. God bless you all....

hello everyone!
how are you all? hope everything's well....im getting more ok everyday....i cant say ive totally recovered but i just learned how to deal with the pain... am still confused on 2 things....either totally live my life as a single mom to my 3 girls, my present situation OR still try to convince my hubby that i want us to be family again and we need him....im telling myself i have forgiven him and myself but why is it that i want him to come back for his kids as their dad but i cant accept him as my husband ...he's still on my mind but more on the painful thoughts...i know God continues to work on me and i have surrendered everything to Him but as in human nature, its still difficult to let go....i hear things about him and i still react sometimes especially about him being in financial difficulties...the truth is, i dont believe it and i dont feel any sympathy becos what i believe in is he is with someone else who helps him....
i hope you can enlighten me and share some of your thoughts...
God bless everyone....

Bekya, I am happy to hear you are reading books with good messages. At times like this you have to take in all the goodness you can.

I believe what you are going through is totally normal. You parented children together and that creates a tremendous bond.

I think the best thing to do is talk with him, and the girls. First speak with him and tell him your thoughts. See if he's on the same page. If not, then you need to carry on. I'm sure it's apinful, but try to remember the pain will subside in time. Keep taking life one day at a time and turn to God for strength. He'll be sure to give it to you.

Give yourself a big hug for hanging in there and hug the kiddies too!