I've been skulking some - I've been too busy with work to do much on the internet. But your situation really hit home with me Dee. My son and I do get together at holidays and I am thankful for that, but I feel left out of his life and don't feel close to him. I will never say anything to him, because I never want him to feel smothered by guilt. When and if he ever comes around and becomes the man I think he is, I want it to be on his own free will. I'm willing to wait for that.

I realize that my situation is partly my fault. I chose his dad, who is a selfish idiot and never showed me any respect or honor. My son treats me (and his wife) the same way his dad treated me when we were married: Neglected.

It sounds like you have a great husband. You should make each other your world, and enjoy life as much as possible.

Daisygirl...not to take away from Dee's post, but I know she won't mind me saying, "Howdy!" to you...I'm so tickled to see you in here!

Girl..give us an update on yourself!

Had to say hi to you Daisygirl, its been awhile. Hope all's well with you...

I wish I had some wisdom to add. I just wanted to say that I hurt for your husband. It's too bad Christmas isn't sooner so you can give a lesson to the brats.

No, ya'll I don't mind anyone say hey...that's why we love these forums.
Daisygirl...I'm sorry for how you were treated by your husband and neglected by your son. There's so many dynamics in families and step-families.
I've learned one thing...you cannot force anyone to do the right thing or love you, including a child. I have a dear best friend who hasn't seen her son for 15 years. She told her son on one occasion that she didn't like something her daughter-in-law did and from that moment he turned his back on her. She has 2 grandchildren she's never seen and he lives in the same town. She said she wouldn't know them if she bumped into them. That is just heartbreaking to me.
Dotsie, Larry and I are living our lives each day and enjoying the blessing we've been given. All we can do is not let the two kids come in and try to take more advantage and if they choose to be absent from this wonderful man's life, it's their loss. They are losing out on the love and support of a great Father and how sad for them that their selfishness overrides love they could be experiencing.
I'll keep you in my prayers Daisygirl that your son will change.

I truly hope this all works out for everyone, Dee. I love the concept of family, esp. close families. I thought ours was just that, once. I was living in fairytale land. (humlan, pass that vodka, wait... is it any good... never had vodka before)

Oh yes, give me a glass too...a double. The title of this thread suits my disposition right now perfectly, Dee. I’m at a loss of words as well.

I had a hefty quarrel with my son, Anaiya's father, this weekend. I think it was in another thread where someone said...our kids are the "ME" generation. Oh how very true; at least with the sons.

Are you interested in what we quarrelled about? Well, hope I won't bore you.

My son called yesterday to tell me that he is staying over night, and will take Anaiya early the next morning with him to a professional golf tournament.

Whaaaat? A golf tournament? Oh yes, just the right place for a two and a half year old. And it is sizzling hot. I said to him in a very nice manner, "Danny, don't you think you should leave Anaiya here, and go by yourself? It’s much too hot for her, and she will never be quiet for hours on end." You won't believe his reaction. He yelled into the phone, "I am the father; I do what I want with my daughter, and you have no rights at all!" He then slammed the phone down in my ear. Two hours later, he drove up to our house, grabbed Anaiya, put her in his car, and off he went. He didn’t come back last night. He didn’t bring any of her clothes with him, no blanket, no toothbrush, no diapers, nothing!

I can not fathom the audacity of his behaviour. If it wasn’t for Anaiya, at this point, I would check him off my list for a long long time. Of course he has to bring her back, … sometime. But he better come back with a big fat apology. No way in the world do I deserve such treatment. Is he confusing me with his wife? There is absolutely no excuse or explanation for his behaviour. I was polite and respectful in my tone. I don’t want to take his daughter away from him. Nothing would make me happier then her going back to an intact family. This has dug a deep painful wound in me, and his behaviour is so uncalled for,...that even I... am at a loss of words. ...I wonder if he is bipolar? This isn't the first time he acts so irrationally.

I think the word, sweetheart, is JERK. I think this is the JERK generation. How rude of him. All I can say is I hope Anaiya is okay and that she made it miserable for her dad to enjoy himself playing golf. I think when we as parents become too wounded we hope their behavior can be explained away by some mental disorder instead of what is probably is...rudeness, selfishness, just being a jerk. The only cure is maturity? I feel so badly for you...good grief, after all you've done for him and to have him treat you like this is just plain selfishness. There's no appreciation for anything we do for our kids these days. I hope you do give him an attitude check for speaking to you the way he did...you did not deserve that. Offering advice is no reason to be treated like that...what the heck is going on with this generation of kids? I don't get it...and am at a loss of words, too. My heart goes out to you darlin'.

I would just imagine that Danny had reached a boiling point from his how decisions about his own life, and you just happen to tip over the tea kettle, so to speak. I'm not making excuses for him, but I do think his anger was misdirected and that he KNOWS you always have her best interest at heart.

Obviously he was mad at something or someone else...yet chose YOU to take it out on. What is the old saying, "We always hurt the ones we love?" I think people do this because they know you will love them, regardless. Does this make it right? Absolutely not. Nor acceptable.

I can tell you this much, when he did arrive, he would either apologize to me or be handed a chewing he wouldn't soon forget. It would start with, "grow up."

You, of all people, do not deserve to be treated as the hired help. You are his mother. Period. Honor they Mother and thy Father. It doesn't get any clearer than that.

Well said, JJ.