Why DID the chicken cross the road....?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.


OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.



GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.


COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...


BARRACK OBAMA : Because he wanted change! Nobody said the other side was better but it was different.


JOHN KERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am n ot for it now, and will remain against it.


HILLARY CLINTON: To vote for me, of course. It is my time and I am the only person in the world who can save America (with a little help from Bill)


PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.


DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.



JOHN EDWARDS : To come to the law offices of John Edwards &Associates so he could file a lawsuit against KFC for inhumane treatment of chickens awaiting slaughter.

COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?


ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain. Alone.



HARRY REID: This is unacceptable to me; it's unacceptable to the American people. This chicken must stay on his side of the road.

BARBARA WALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.


JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.


BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% <mailto: cra...#@&amp;&amp;%5E%28C%> <mailto: cra...#@&amp;&amp;%5E%28C%> ..... reboot.


ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?


O.J. SIMPSON: To show how he WOULD have crossed the street if he crossed the street.


BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?


AL GORE : I invented the chicken!


[Lavender] CHENEY : Where's my gun?


AL SHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens

LOVE that one!! Thanks for sharing!

jabber,
To get away from the chicken abuse at the chicken farm!

Edelweiss,
These were cute. Hey what the heck is up with Barbarb Walters? She must have enough money, without exploiting past indiscretions. Why in the world would she write about having an affair with a married man? Don't know about anybody else but that diminishes my respect for her. I don't think it's cool to brag about messing around with another woman's man! What's up with that????

How funny! I love these. I bet we could invent some of our own reasons, too.

Kristie Alley: Chicken? What chicken? I swear I didn't eat that chicken! I've lost another 20 pounds just chasing after that chicken. I swear! Whatttt? Have too! Have too!

Valerie Bertinellie: The chicken crossed the road to call Jenny, of course! Kristie, nana nana boo boo...

The chicken crossed the road where it will be the latest celebrity (ha-ha) to appear on Dancing With The Stars...

Shakespearean chicken: "To cross or not to cross, that is the question"

And on "Dancing With The Stars" Chatty's chicken will do "The Chicken Dance."

Hahaha...you gals are good.

I would say the chicken crossed the road to visit the c o c k.... you do know I mean the rooster. So what were you thinking?

Some chicks will dodge a lot of semi-trucks just to find a good rooster, Edelweiss...

The chicken crossed the road because it was a female, and we all know that females have to do every freakin' thing....so cross the road she goes...then to the 7-11 to get cokes, chips, charcoal, and lighter fluid, back by the Piggly Wiggly to pick up some fresh beef (you didn't really think she would get chicken, did you?) and home again, home again...

She got everything for the big Mother's Day cookout her chick-a-dees were having for her. Now all she has to do is cross BACK over the road, go home, clean the entire house, marinate the burgers, light the grill, and hand the plate of burgers to her chicks so they can say, "WE COOKED OUT FOR MOM ON MOTHER'S DAY."

And THAT is why the chickendiva crossed the road.

The chicken crossed the road to prove to the possum that it could be done.

The chicken crossed the road to give everyone something to talk about.

Cluck, cluck JJ, I get the picture...too funny!

The Law of Allowing: The chicken has chosen to cross the road. Accept, honour and respect its right to be and go wherever it feels it must. Allow it to cross without allowing its actions and behaviours to redefine who YOU are or where YOU want to go.

To get to the Starbucks on the other side.

This could be a great gift book. Any takers. Your all crazy, funny.

Because she was nosy and wanted to find out why the others crossed the road.

Been done, Dots... http://www.amazon.com/Why-Did-Chicken-Cross-Road/dp/0803730942

However, I have it on good authority that the Chicken crossed the road because she heard that the last one over was a rotten egg. I swear!

...to get to the Boomer Babes Fun Bunch Annual Party!!!

AND THE LAST ONE THERE IS A ROTTEN EGG!!!!! LOL!

Well, to bad, na, na nana, cause I caught the darn chicken before she could cross and made her into Catchitorie for dinner. NO more chicken crossing anything...yumm!!!

Chatty....gulp...you ate da Chicken? You cooked her? You....you....killed da chicken? Wahhhhhhh....

The chicken crossed the road to get away from that double crossing, two-timing, good-for-nothing rooster!

Can you imagine? 1 rooster and those chicks!

JJ,
Your Mother's Day scenario was funny, cute!!!

So now all the other animals are crossing the road to go to the memorial service (after lunch on the lawn - chatty providing the chicken?) and to carry on for the chicken...
let's see what they think about 'crossing the road' once they've gotten a taste for it - AND if they make it.
BTW, what road are we talking about? political asphalt? gender clay? moral gravel? agistical hardpan? dietetic cement? character caliche?

It seems the chicken did indeed make it to the other side...Chatty, that wasn't chicken. Ew.

The FBI needs your help in capturing this chicken criminal. Keep your eyes and beaks, ah...ears open folks...

Be AWARE! This chicken has been known to change disguises!

I'm cracking up here...Good thing I'm not a chicken laying an egg.

"cracking up" ??? Oooh, you're good. I do believe you've ruffled some feathers lately, but I'm glad you haven't flown the coop. From one hen to another, I'm ready to go home to roost. All this road-crossing has me scrambled!

K

Hubby was just complaining this morning that he felt hen-pecked...I told him to put an egg in his shoe and beat it!

And this little chicken never crossed the road..because she was all cracked up and blind to boot...and she´s basically a very comfy chickadee who doesn´t like to move around too much..been there..done that..

tweet tweet from Sweden!

CHICKEN WARNING!!! DO NOT CROSS THE ROAD!!!

Isn't being just plain SILLY fun??? Love it!!!

Can you be sure about that JJ?
??

MORALE OF THE STORY: DO NOT CROSS THE ROAD!!!

Unless of course you are..................

He's all breast. He'll never know it's you. Go get him before he crosses the road!!!

Peeshaw! I shall dance my way across the road...

Eagleheart said; "Hubby was just complaining this morning that he felt hen-pecked...I told him to put an egg in his shoe and beat it!"
Kathy said: "...I do believe you've ruffled some feathers lately, but I'm glad you haven't flown the coop. From one hen to another, I'm ready to go home to roost. All this road-crossing has me scrambled!"

HAHA HAHA...very funny!
So when are we writing our book?



NOW WE KNOW !!!!!

Hahahahaha.....I love this and finally have time to join in. Check out this site.....UNreal!!!

http://www.subservientchicken.com/

Ladyjane,
Did you see that subservient chick up close: Ugly! I told it to cross the road. It did NOT. I told it to turn the TV on. It just stood there. It must be butch. That thing follows orders like a man!!!

JJ,
I love fuzzy headed chickens. That white fluff ball is a cutey. And I loved the chick that hatches! Cute!

This has been such a fun thread...
who would have thought a chicken could be so popular?
http://www.ruprecht.com/why.html

anyone hungry for chick-fil-a?

To visit his cousin, Patty.

Whattttt?

You never heard of Chicken Patty?

Cake's cousin, JJ? Okaaaaaaaay...is that a collective groan I hear from everyone?

Wasn't he a Duke? (more goaning)

LOL, JJ. But, yep, Pardner. And he spent most of his time out West, riding horses and branding cows which I heard took a lot of true grit. You reckon he ate chicken along the Chisum trail?

That was "chitlins" hun....

And, he probably would not have eaten a buddy.

Bawhahahahaha! No, for sure, because THEN she would have a RAWHIDE! Git along little dogies!

gims,
Didn't see Bill O'Reilly in that list. Rush was there. But not Bill, or Hannity and Combs? What's up with that????
Love the Duke, you horse lovers out there! Keep them doggies rollin', rawhide!!!!

Isn't it FUN just being SILLY sometimes. You all make me smile from ear to ear. My mom met the Duke, her favorite hunk many years ago and I have a picture of her taken standing with him. He was a giant of a man in more ways than one. I wish I knew how to post a picture here so I could show it to you...

Okay, I voted...but you really need to add one to it.

DEAD.

I'm Southern, therefore we fry.

And my moose mincemeat..

And my dead duck.

And my cooked goose.

I like and voted 4 fried. But if I think about too long,
I'll eat lettuce! My meat intake is less and less because of my love 4 animals. Goofy! Ain't it? Every morning the rooster across the street, crows! And boy is that boy loud!!!

I voted for fried but, will go for roast as well. Both served with mashed potatoes and three veg. And loooots of gravy...

Gravy is a beverage at my house....

Fried, barbequed, baked...anyone for Coq au Vin?

...or, as they'd say in Texas, "[Lavender] in wine"...
Lola, not too much garlic, ok?

Okey-dokey, Gims. Garlic will be set at minimum anti-vampire dose. LOL!!!

aaaw, he's too cute to eat. I'll just take the bottle and run.

LOL!!! You'll have to run preeeeetty fast, EW. His legs surely look fit for a chase.

Now that's a sporty chicken! Chicken 'n a bottle vs chicken in the basket??? Lola, never saw a smookin' chicken B fore.
And in a tam-o'-shanter? 2 cool!!!

Lola where on earth do you find these pictures? Too cute for words. I can't believe this silly chicken thing has been kept going this long, so weird.

goodness me... I didn't even consider the negative (is it negative?) connotations of c\o\c\k... I apologize. When I Wiki'd coq au vin to see if I understood it correctly, it gave me what I keyed - no thought on my part...
kind of funny now... pardon me while I laugh!!!

now, to get serious, why 'lavender'?

I have a confession... when the internet first became widely available, back in the early 80's, my girlfriend and I were tired of seeing images of naked women come up in popups and such. We decided we wanted to see some naked men... yes, we did, it's only equal rights you know!!

So we typed the word 'c*ck' into the search bar and guess what came up? Image after image of roosters and chickens!!! We laughed till we fell off our chairs. Nowadays, though, I'm sure you would get entirely different results.

Kathy

Photobucket has got them all. And, guess what I found? Cool, huh?

I coded LAVENDER in the database in place of dirty words. I'm sorry if this has taken some of the fun out of it all, truly I am...but when we were having SPAMMERS, it was either let them post UGLY stuff, or insert a word that would cover them all. I chose lavender because it was a pleasant word and because it is my favorite scent.

So sorry gals!

Love the chick. What's his name?

Napoleon Bone-a-part?

Oh, yes. I remember those days when we were infiltrated by conduct most fowl. Lavender is a good substitute for dirty words. It's almost akin to poultry in motion. (Groan) I'm just wingin' it, am I not? O-me-lette you have this one...for now.

You gals are making me laugh so hard I'm practically rolling off my chair. Lola, I used to be pretty good at puns, but I bow to your masterful "poultry in motion" throughout this thread!

JJ, lavender is a perfect way to fight off them party-poo(lavender)ing spammers (didn't want to take a chance, so I just lavendered myself).

All this talk about chicken, I'm hungry!

WOW Lola, thats the first time I have seen my cyber name in lights, pardon me ladies while I bask in the glory.....

Why did the chicken cross the road? To join the local FATernity...

Okay guys, NOT funny I say....NOT funny. You take one lousy nap around here and what happens? Now gimme back my feathers, k? Jokes over...come on guys...feathers!
There's a breeze for Pete's sake!

What can one do when one has been plucked bare?

Quote:

---

Love the chick. What's his name?

Napoleon Bone-a-part?

---

Yep. Distant cousin to the late singer Robert Poulet.

JJ, me thinks your chicken needs strong sun tan lotion or a sombrero! Hey....this guy has a cute "little" one...just the right size for you chick.
Here chick
here chicky,,,,
cluck
cluck......

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Gims this took the cake! Or the egg? LOL! Or the nuts? Hoooooooooohaaaaa...I better stop before Dotsie deletes this.

Oh Gims, that's hilarious! Well done, well done! I laughed so hard, hubby rushed to see if I was okay (he's still not used to hearing me laugh!) I had to show him the two pictures. He thought it was amazingly clever too.

Lola and gims,
U gals are funnnnnnnyyyyyyyy!!! Never saw a small sombrero with more charisma than that!

On the floor laughing! That was so gims! Serves him right for having such a little.......ah...........hat. Okay Dotsie, I swear I'll stop. Honest.

teehee...

Go ahead...go for it. Try and cross the road....Chicken. You feel lucky? Well....do ya Chicken?




who me?

Unless you want those feathers to be plucked and worn...DO NOT CROSS THE ROAD!!!

Uh...say misstou...are you wearing my Mamma?

No, dearie...I AM wearing your Mamma

Listen, if it's any consolation, there's a few of us who can gripe as well for the way we look. Chin up!

Oh sure...you burds think you got problems...talk to tha hand, babe...Ah listen, does this wall make my butt look big?

Finished with the errands, JJ?




What a delight!

gims, how did you do that? That's hysterical.

Yes, we ALL have to get together - - all this humor and fun in one place. Dotsie, you'll have to find a place that will accept a bunch of really crazy ladies!

dots, with one of the the oldest versions of Photoshop... wish I could afford the newest version.

Gims, I love the scrawny feet sticking out in front! You're amazing!

I downloaded a free trial version of Photoshop to fix a photo of the grandchildren playing piano together...it was difficult to figure the program out. I know what amazing things Photoshop can do but couldn't get past the very simplest basics...but I did manage to fix the photo enough to get it enlarged, framed and hanging over our piano. That would be something on my list of things I'd like to do - take a Photoshop course.

So........my butt looks big, does it? Tell me you're sorry or the chicken/duck/whatever it is, gets it.

Close scrutiny of aforementioned creature's feet



reveals a clever disguise

Oh my goodness, isn't that duck adorable??? Much cuter than some scrawny old chicken!!

Girls, girls, girls, I'm all shook up! Be still, my wooden heart, Elvis has been found!

ahhh, thank ya, thank ya very much!

Hey jj,
That "do" might look cute on you!!! Myyyyy, what big eyes under that upswept thatch!!!

That's really a hunk, a hunk, a hunk of burning love!!!


Yaaaaa, yelp, they say duck is better than chicken. But you can't prove it by me.

Oh now we're on to ducks are we?
Anxious for some pure quackery!

I dunno guys, what do ya think? Should we play with da chickens?



Let see a show of wings.

"You better believe it!" quaked the almost dead duck.

Huh? Whattttt? What chicken? I don't see no stinkin' chicken...all I see is a bunch of -----Saaaayyyy; where did all of these dead ducks come from?

Ewww...I'm spitting this out...I don't know where it's been!

Will he...?



Uh, oh.....

I'm gonna have some chick-en tonight, do dah...do dah
I'm gonna have some chick-en tonight, oh do dah day!

DETOUR!!! Found a river to cross instead. I know. It ain't the road but nevertheless, it is still the OTHER SIDE. Following the leader...the leader..the leader...




Until it gets washed away...dinner is served, Officer Fido.

Okay so maybe that wasn't the best route! EEEEEEEKKKKK!



Silence..................................then.....

HE'S IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!!! Anybody wanna guess what happens next?

He turns around to join the rest here

Good morning, chickens.

, GIMS!!!

Two eggs especially for you



It comes with a song, too.

"I had a lot of chickens, a large chicken run
But owing to conditions I'm now down to one
I give her all the tit-bits the dear little thing
And just to keep her up to scratch, I go to her and sing:

Hey little hen, when, when, when
Will you lay me an egg for my tea.
Hey little hen, when, when, when
Will you try to supply one for me
Get into your nest,
Do your little best,
Get it off your chest,
I can do the rest.
Hey little hen, when, when, when
Will you lay me an egg for my tea."

Will you ladies stop with the chickens, ducks, big butt gorillas? I have pea'd my pants laughing twice now already...Geesh!!! Oops, and there I go again....

I am so jealous I don't know how to do all the pictures you gals can do. Who knew there were so many pictures of chickens floating around cyber space?

"DO THESE MAKE MY BUTT LOOK BIG?"

Chatty,
1.Right click your mouse on any picture that you want to on the internet.

2.When you right click with your mouse several options come up, scroll down and choose the option, "save pic/ture as"

3.When the next box comes up, save it on your computer(automatically happens)when you choose save. Don't worry if this box suddenly disappears.

4.Go to Photobucket(you will need an account there, it's free)and sign in.

5.Go to "MY ALBUMS" click on "Upload Images & Video" by clicking "CHOOSE FILES"(this is in the upper right hand corner) and your picture will reappear.Click on the picture ONE TIME and choose OPEN. This will upload the saved picture/s.

6.Save it to your album in Photobucket(it gives this option)YOU WILL HAVE TO GO TO THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE FOR THIS.

7.Then it will take you to your picture. When you see the picture, just right click copy the IMG Code ...It's the last box down, below the pic that you chose and is a series of letters and numbers.

8.Come back to BWS and paste the IMG code (that you copied)on the post here.

NOTE:You will see that same series of numbers and letters when you paste. When you preview your post, THEN and ONLY THEN you will see the picture. And of course we will get to see it when you send it here. Try sending the picture without typing anything else in the post.

Give it a shot.Good Luck.
Try using this picture to start. A word of advice , take your time, wait in between instructions so it will allow things to upload and happen.
Post on here where you get stuck and I will guide you.

I ain't chicken!

BUT, could I pass as one?

How 'bout me? A double your pleasure chick!

MOOOOOOOM!!!



Off to...



Catch up with y'all next week.

They said it was a tanning bed!!!

Lola, you lucky duck - I mean chicken.

And so...what are we suppose to do while she's off gallavanting in paradise? Hmmm? Entertain ourselves? Welllllllllll, okey dokey....guess what this is...

Good Lord, that chicken is giving us the evil eye. Maybe he didn't want to cross the lousy road to begin with. Geesh!!!

I prefer Ellard the goose, or Turkey Lurky to this evil chicken anyway, she just kicked sand in Henny Pennys face.

Cute 'chick/kitten' image:




to bridge to this unrelated 'kitten' image (so cute, dad sent it this week):




Now, back to chickens:

BAWHAHAHAHAHA....Oh my! I can hear them now...Say girls, I haven't seen one Rooster go by...are you as tired as I am of sticking out your chest? And whose idea was it to sit on the cans? ouch! Hey...does this can make my butt look big?

What can? I don't see any can, whoops, should I see a can huh??? That kind of answers your question though I guess...LOL!

By the way will someone please kill and eat this dam chicken?

I won't eat it, but I'll take it off your hands - would love to not have to buy eggs!

Eggs? Eggs? Cue the eggs!


This kind?




Or this kind?

Ohhhhhhh Geeishhhhhhhhh! Now we're moving to eggs?

Ahhhhh.....'cuse M wah.....but you people have left out the rabbit community and I for one believe that is Hare Discrimination! Uh huh...sure is! I'm gonna----I'm----wait, is that lion? Exit, stage left!

just to let you know...you won that race by default because he held me back...



ouch!...ouch!!!

Aw come on big boys;...you can't be afraid of a widdle pudy cat....

A pun! A pun! An opportunity for a pun!!! Would it mind a little chicken dressing?

Nope. No need to fear this widdle puddy tat...

Because they did.

You CHICKS are a scream!