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my mom didn´t do too much sacrificing..which is comforting for me..but has left me with a big mamma hole. She lived life to the fullest as an individual,tho. And what did I do? I became a work at home mom for my 5 kids..my mom was a career woman with only me as her child. And NOW my adult children..the remaining 4..2 of them are very critical of the way I mothered them..not meaning smothered..but I used them as my social comapny and support, they say.. ..it´s so easy to have opinions about how are near and dearest should live their lives..but do we really KNOW?? As the mother of adult children..I find it very difficult at times with all the opinions or comments upon what I do or not do. I am ME..Humlan:mother, partner, colleague, friend and individual..and lots more, I suppose. Noone can see inside of me now, or in the past..not even my closest love ones..sometimes I can´t see inside of my own self, either




Well, I hope your grown children will give it up on you. How old is the oldest one?

Easy to choose mothers for microscopic analysis. My only comment about sacrifice and person's each "small" world, is that my mother is by nature, controlling. She doesn't have 2-way dialogue with each of adult children, it's instructing them each time she meets/contacts one of them. I attribute that to a person trying to keep their world safe, calm and predictable...by attempting to control others..or complain how others are inconveniencing their "safe" world. A threat (with demonstrated evidence, not just vague "fears) to personal safety/health is understandable.

Yesterday the woman that I profiled at beginning of my thread.....she complained to me that she feels shut in her house the whole day because of a major, annnual East Indian festival that is planned and announced months in advance, that will close off her street and car access. So she is blaming this one-time festival for ruining her Saturday. I suggested she participated in the festival. She said she tried only first year of living in the areas. For her, it gets real crowded, besides she said she felt conspsicuous.

Earlier I mentioned that where we lived there are weekend marathons, walks where streets are closed off. "Just part of living", I said. Then when this was brought up again, I said: " That's nothing. I grew up in a school of 2,000 kids where only 10 were ASians (and blacks)." Then I walked out of the office temporarily.

I was seething. Besides she isn't doing anything to plan her schedule to leave her area temporarily and fun somewhere else.