This is the third Sunday in a row I haven't attended church. This is the first time in over twenty years this has happenend. What's wrong with me/us?

This week's excuse is taking the kids to work. Last week Ross was visiting our son at college and I used the excuse that I had to run the kids to work. The week before we were dealing with parent health issues.

I continue to do my daily study. I feel my faith is getting stronger every day, but I'm in this funk with church. I don't feel connected and I don't feel like doing a darn thing to become connected.

I'm teaching a class in the spring, but that's it.

You have to understand this is the church we've faithfully attended since before starting our family. There were weeks we'd be there several times for services, festivals, Cherubs, studies, etc. I even worked there for three years. Any insight? Have you ever hit a valley with your church family?

Dotsie,

I am so happy that you posted this. I am in a valley, too. This is my third sunday of no mass, as well. I don't know why. I keep telling myself I "should" want to go and asking myself "what the heck is wrong with you?" My husband, who has never been much for going to church noticed it the other day. He said, "Gee Honey, you haven't been to mass in a while, is everything okay?" I just nastily replied, "Gee, never thought you much cared one way or the other." He dropped the subject. Of course, I did just move here and I could use that as a good excuse, but I know in my heart that is just an excuse. If I wanted to I would be there. I read my Bible, do devotionals several times a week and still pray. I ask God to forgive me for not worshipping in the "traditional" manner right now. Don't really know what else to do. I have met no one here I can really discuss this with and when I talked with my old friends from my former church, they just say "go, anyway!" But I feel that is a fraud. I should WANT to be there!! Maybe some of the kind ladies here at BWS have the right words to explain what is happening. Thanks for caring.

I'm in the same boat. I didn't attend church for a while because of the wheelchair and my ankle swelling in the cast caused so much pain, but I could have gone this week and last and I didn't.
Maybe it's the season. Dan and I both have the blahs about going anywhere right now.
smile

Dare I say this? If you'd like an outsider's perspective, here you go. I hope I don't offend anyone. I grew up a protestant and was very pious. I memorized dozens of Biblical passages and even went to church during the summer, when you didn't have to, and also sang in the choir. But I've left the church.

As I see it, there are two aspects to church -- the spiritual and the social. When I visit my mom, especially at Christmas time, I often go to church with her. Otherwise, as you know, I'm not Christian. The few times I've been to church in recent years, it felt like I was in a movie theater. There seemed to be very little respect. It was super casual. When I was a kid, we didn't talk out loud in church, and we dressed up. Now I see people in blue jeans and t-shirts and chewing gum. To me it doesn't feel conducive to worship. I've also been to black churches where there's lots of calling out and talking. It's very emotional, but I wouldn't say that it feels any more respectful of God or in the manner of worship. It all seems like a big social gathering. I hear stories all the time about occasions in church where a neighbor will see another neighbor who doesn't like them, and they're all supposed to hold hands, but these people even find ways not to do that.

My mom's church is full of gossip, and some of it was even about the ministers.

In fact, what I think is that if you're at all sensitive to the Spirit, you wouldn't like to be in a church.

DJ somewhere else in the Forum awhile back this was also a topic and I said that I didn't need a building or a bunch of people miling around me to be close to God. I so agree with the aspects of NO RESPECT. I grew up Catholic and we even had to wear a hat in Church. I was appauled at the clothing worn at services at the new Christian church I joined, torn jeans with underwear visible, women with tank tops and no bras, also jeans hanging nearly off their butts. I see little respect for ones self let alone God. I also accidently saw the main Minister and another Ministers wife in a compromising situation. I left the Church in discust...Then one night I realized HEY fool, you don't go to Church to see the fashions or whos booping who, you go to praise the Lord, so I went back and now I ignore all around me except those things I feel appropriate to worship and I talk to God and sometimes when I do see a bad outfit, I say "Lord will you look at that?" And we laugh silently to ourselves. Hey works for me...

Hi Dotsie, it sounds like you're surprised at your own self for not attending after attending religiously. It also sounds like you don't need a church to have faith. It's the church itself your not feeling connected to? Not the faith, right? After recovering from Catholisism, I go to Unity (Unity School of Christianity) but we all know we don't need a building to feel connected to God. I'm sorry, I have no insight for the moment. Love and Light, Lynn

Chatty you are right about WHY we go to church...we have to keep our eyes on Him.

I think most parents are happy to get their children to church at all, and have stopped worrying about the clothes. (And I remember huge arguments with my mother about wearing jeans to church! Now we all do.)

Dotsie, Mrsmuzz, Smile, I've been in the same situation for so long...but now our church is halfway through 40 days of Purpose, and really, the atmosphere has changed a lot. Like it has given people permission to get involved with each other. I have felt motivated to go and have only missed one day (unintentionally) since the programme started.It has been hard to find a seat, the church is packed.If you haven't read this book, I suggest trying it.

The other thing I have to say is that faith isn't about feelings. We keep doing what God requires whether we get an emotional charge from it or not. That's spiritual maturity.

Chatty, I am delighted that you are back in church. I'm not sure why. It just seemed that you loved it so and I'm sure you were a blessing to everyone. Just keep your eyes on the cross and the chaos around you will dim in the joy of being close to Him.

I think my problem is just plain laziness. Seems like things are just more trouble than they are worth. Too much pain and swelling and I am so out of shape from inactivity.

Julie, I did the forty days of purpose a while back. It was wonderful. I've been involved in a lot of other church events, just not Sunday morning services. Maybe next week.
smile

Well, as the wife of a pastor, I'm following this thread with great interest. We always wonder, but rarely get such a glimpse into why people drop out for a while. Thank you for being so transparent with your feelings.

The only advice I have, for what it's worth , is that you do as Chatty said and take your eyes off of man and get them on God. Man will fail you. God won't.

Well, I listened to my husband preach two lo-o-o-ng sermons today, so that's my sermonette! lol!

Is the forty days of purpose you mentioned related to the book about finding your purpose in this life? I can't remember the exact title, but I did read it last year and do the journal excercises. As you may have guessed, since it made so little impact on me as to not even remember the exact title. I came out not any more enlightened than I began.