OK, I know some of you have done this before. Where do I go to get a "good" background check done on someone? I've checked the web and found a few promising sites, but if I'm going to pay for this information I want it to be as comprehensive as possible.

Thanks.

Whirlwind

When Anne327 comes on, I bet she can tell you. I'm sorry, I've never done this. Watch for her to post. I bet she'll help. Good luck!

Whirlwind,
Do ask Anne3 but I know that the better ones are the more expensive ones as a rule. I've a friend who on line dates and uses a service every time on a person before she meets them or exchanges too much mail with them.

I think she's right because you can't be too careful.
Because my husband did the job he did, we can get those as a curtesy and it helps a lot!

Please let us know how it goes?

dancer9

Admittedly Anne I never did background checks on the guys I dated. Maybe I was trusting too much of the circumstances that I met them, but several I met through non-profit organizations where both he and I were volunteers at the time and quite keen in the organization to assist.

Getting to know a guy's family is always helpful to me...and observing over a long time, how his words translate into action with other family members that he loves. And the reverse also, getting to know your loved one, through the eyes of other family members who care about him.

It can get complicated if one or both partners have children. A partner is a lovable, trustworthy soul but the (step)children..sometimes one doesn't know what their interests might be in the estate later on... It is a reality where just laying out some protective, legal measures where you do have control over your own assets is important.

If Anne/Whirlwind, you need that financial security, then keep those/some assets that you have earned yourself..under your name...always. It's just reality since no one may look after you when you become frail..You might outlive your loved ones.

Anne, Orchid reminded me of something I held important when single and when married. My name. Maybe it's because I use it when working in the public eye, or maybe it's just me, but I valued my good name! I did not want to be around a man who could possibly damage my name, my reputation connected with that good name, etc...
This can be your name in finances or even at your local church! To sacrafice your name, even if you take a man's last name, (which I did not do,) is very wrong and will hurt your life forever.
I would advise to protect your name and what it is associated with. This may be pride on my part, because of my family name, or it may be common sense from my agents, but it's important.

dancer9

That's awful for your friend Anne3! How can women do this? Now this man will have an AWFUL time trusting women! She gives us all a bad name! I have good credit and so does my husband so we are equal and do share everything, then again, I've known him all my life and I've never been burned by a man, so I am trusting.
I think I can trust my husband but I'll be on the lookout now for family I can't trust and friends, etc..

I've learned a lot from your posts, Anne3, thank you for sharing!

dancer9

There's a lot of lessons to be learned here. My husband is an example, unfortunately. His ex-wife of 30 years embezzled $500,000.00 from her company over a 10 year period. he literally gave her his check weekly and kept his "allowance" for the week. She did all the family finances and he trusted her completely. After all, she was office manager in a large company. She maxed out 19 credit cards after forging his name on them. When she was finally caught, she divorced him and went bankrupt....guess who still gets calls for these credit cards claiming him to be liable? We can never be too rpotective. It's sad because we want to trust the people we're married to, of course. Stuff like this can really mess up your whole life.

lol, Anne3!
dancer

Wow, that's a lot of money, Lady Jane!
She never had to answer for it?
dancer

Oh yes, she definitely had to answer for it...but get this...she only served 6 month in the county jail! And during the course of that time she filed for divorce and bankruptcy, so she didn't have to pay anything back, so to speak. They lost their house and all their possessions as well as a beach house in Maryland. Unreal!!!