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#13680 - 04/11/06 05:18 AM
Re: Curiousity
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Member
Registered: 04/10/06
Posts: 30
Loc: Dallas
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quote: Originally posted by GJAX: Good for you Chowhuahua!! keep up the good work:)
You can call me Chow
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#13683 - 04/12/06 02:26 AM
Re: Curiousity
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Member
Registered: 04/10/06
Posts: 30
Loc: Dallas
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Thanks...All the support is really appreciated. I'm actually just a few days from 2 months sober. That just blows my mind. Except for times I have been hospitalized (and had no choice) I don't think I've gone much over a week or two between drinks since I was in Jr High. It just got so bad for me about the last year or so I had to do something....All I could see for a future was drinking myself into oblivion (i used to love that place so much) every night until there was a morning that I just didnt wake up. And I really think I was hoping that day would come pretty soon. It is so important to do this kind of thing for yourself rather than the other people in your life. But doing it FOR yourself doesnt mean doing it BY yourself. I dont do AA but I have had such a huge amount of support from a wonderful friend that it has made these early days of sobriety alot easier than they sometimes can be. There's also the issue of therapy I have started just recently too (i know, alot to take on at once). Finally dealing with the sexual, physical & emotional abuse that made up the biggest part of my childhood. The big thing is...this is hard enough the first time around, I'm not really wanting to wipe out the work I've done in therapy by drinking...and then have to do it again. If you get my drift.... [ April 12, 2006, 02:11 AM: Message edited by: chowhuahua ]
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#13686 - 04/12/06 06:14 AM
Re: Curiousity
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Member
Registered: 10/02/05
Posts: 370
Loc: Washington State
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Chow.......I was raised with an alcholic father, and it hurt me so much to see him fade away. I applaud you for your wanting to make a better life for YOURSELF! No one else can do it but YOU! Congrats girl!!!!! Lynne
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#13687 - 04/12/06 06:20 PM
Re: Curiousity
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Member
Registered: 04/10/06
Posts: 30
Loc: Dallas
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Just want to thank you guys again...
Considering things that are going in the last couple of days, I'm really wondering where that 'need a drink' feeling went. In the past it seems like the littlest thing would set that off & I'd be drunk in no time. I had the hardest therapy session yet on Monday, meaning we dug in underneath this wall of anger that I guess I'd been using as a coverup for so much pain & sadness. And man I'd SOOO rather be pissed off. And had a panic attack during a relaxation exercise (go figure) & never really had panic attacks before.....Then later that night I went through a kinda/sorta breakup, not really even sure if that's the right name to give it but just saying I lost my friend doesn't even come close to conveying the depths of it. I guess I'm just not sure why I'm not wanting a drink now & is it going to come up & bite me in the ass sometime when I least expect it. I know I've been mostly pretty numb so far, with little episodes of sadness mingled in. I dont know, maybe this is something I'm worrying about that I dont really need to stress over right now...But I guess it's also good to be aware...Dont know. A little lost right now I guess.
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