i am a little bundle of cheer with this post, sorrie but just wonderring if its global.
the sucicide rates rocket at this time of year, as dose drug addiction alcohole, violent incidentes within the familie spured on by some substances. Also and a bit cheerier we get manie more people turning to rehabes and also 12 steap fellowships, churches, or other peer support groups to help with the increas of drugs and drink being used and going disasterise at this time of year, is this global thing.
i am fairlie sure its not just scotland, ireland or the uk??Is it??

could you possible rember in prayer the addicts themselfs and all their familie that are or have been darkend by addiction at this time of year.

ps sorrie it aint a cheerie one again

Yes, Celtic, it's global, as far as I know.

The winter blues, shorter and darker days, and the feelings of being let down prevail in many households. Drinking, drugs and violence increase up here in the northern part of the US as we get "cabin fever" (our turn for not getting out and about enough).

Yes, prayers are a wonderful thought. How precious of you to remember the ones that we often blame for misery.

Thanks, celtic. You are a wise woman.

Celtic.
You are so right! I had not realized what a hard time it can be for those who have addiction problems. It's very kind for you to think of this. It's important too!

I'm tired of those who have addiction problems being treated as criminals instead of as people with an illness which is what they are! Recently, L.A. released a lot of non-violent offenders from prison and jail who were just addicts and who needed help for the addiction. I call this a good start! If we had more treatment programs and more shelters connected to therapy programs, we would have less addicts and non-violent offenders.

It is so miserable to have an addiction, why would anyone choose it? They wouldn't, that's the fact! It's a disease, pure and simple and a hard one to fix. We need to fix the disease and if it's a mental illness one is self medicating, we need to treat that mental illness!

On a soap box again,
dancer...

My son missed Christmas the last two years in a row due to being high and sleeping it off on a bench somewhere or on someones couch.

He came over later stinking of alcohol in a mood that was not appreciated. Opened his presents then slept on the couch for the rest of the day. Then off into the night he went.

He has been sober for three months and is coming home from his treatment centre for a week over Christmas. It will be so nice to have him home this Christmas.

Your so right about the addicts being treated like criminals although many are criminals and violent ones at that. My son being one of them. The drugs did that to him and he stole to feed his habit.

We need a different facility to house addicts. Sending them to jail is not a great idea. Many of them are skinny from the drugs, have mental health issues and get picked on big time.
My son was on suicide watch and put into isolation as he was assaulted so many times. Plus they are on forced withdrawal without any help at all. It's a nightmare for them.

Still, he spent one too many times in jail and it made him turn around eventually. The last time was the worst and he knew he had to make some changes. Plus I was doing the tough love thing.

I pray for addicts and their families every night. Addicts are hurting big time. The pain of dealing with their issues is just too much to bare. They do drugs to avoid their reality and it is sad, really sad.
Kate

yea in uk one dosen't get inprisend for taking drugs its more if cought with (possesion) or dealling drugs that you end up in jail for, i had hear that in some states the jail time was just for being an addict, i never knowen how it was supposed to help them off durgs. Arguable they be clean while in prison. Over heer being in jail is no garintee of not being on drugs, theirs loads smuggled into prison. Onces out temptasion or life starts again and bang! straight back into old coping methods ie drugs.
Gottie be some type of rehabe or peer support such as 12 steap programe for just support of other clean recoverring addicts other wise the chances of getting and staying cleans not verie high, (no pun)

i not condoning pot, but why stop their. A paket of cigarets is way expensive heer so why pot and not cigarets....if its solie just about kids being deprived financiallie. Why pot cigarets and not drink? legalised pot or not is it reallie less physicallie harfull than alcohole? Or is it just more taxes get paid on alcohole so for government coffers sake lets not make a fuss about that, couldn't loss the revinue on that one now.
I am getting cynical, or is it paronoid, or is it just realistick regarding my government.

Celtic,
We can take it further: If cigarettes are taxed so much because they are bad for you, why not McDonalds food, it has been proven to be bad for you and can even be fatal! Why not sugar? Sugar is addictive! Pot is not addictive and is natural but they don't make it legal, why? I don't smoke it but it doesn't make sense! There are the large vehicles that put out enough stuff to kill us too,buy no higher taxes on them either! I'm dismayed to see OUR government making "sin tax," only count on alcohol and cigarettes, (as an Italian raised with wine with dinner,) but not these other things! I don't drink now, with my medicine it can be dangerous but if the government wants to protect MY children, I want them to get rid of poisen food!
dancer, strange feelings!

katebcca, I admire what you've been through with your son. I know it is SO hard. You must be so happy he is coming and he is off any sort of drug! How great for him and for you!
You are a strong woman to have faced all you must have faced in watching and at times, probably, being involved in the hard life of an addict. As I said, it's not a crime, who would CHOOSE to suffer so? They can't help it and it needs to be worked on and worked on and, etc... right?

A mother has to be strong and I admire your strength. I'm also sorry that you've been through what you have and that your son has been through what he has!

Have a wonderful holiday and again, I'm happy for you that your son is "straight," and ready to come home for a holiday!
I hope you hold on to these nice things, they are so sweet.

dancer9

Katebecca, I'm so glad that your son has stuck this out for at least three months. I hope and pray that he continues down this road.

There are no easy answers to any of this. We can have the programs, and yet, the addict/alcoholic has to WANT to change. Putting them in jail doesn't help, except to stop them from stealing for the drugs. They can certainly get drugs in jail. My son used to tell me that it was the easiest place to get them.

I'm totally convinced it has both a genetic component and a situational component. Many of these young men and women are among our brightest and most sensitive. It's sad to lose them.

Thanks, Celtic, for reminding us to extend the heart of compassion and hope for these lost ones.

What I have learned from my son is that he is impulsive,
wants instant gratification and is over sensitive. I also think that he has limited coping skills.

I'm not comparing him to my younger son.....but. My younger son has just as severe ADD but has much better coping skills. He is much more grounded. He was such a socialite as a young boy. If there were a group of kids he would go right up to them and join in. My older son would cower and wait to be asked to join them but they never did. He was always the odd person out.

A friend that I new as a young person ( who did quite a few drugs in his youth) explained to me that some young adults use drugs to party it's a social thing. It was for him. Others use drugs to party at first but then it becomes an escape. It is just hard to know which young people are which type, not that we can stop it.

I think in my son's case because he is so sensitive he thought he could not handle reality, the pain of it so he had to numb himself in order to avoid it. He couldn't see his way through it.

My younger son feels pain too, but he works through it. Perhaps it is genetic. I knew from a young age that my older son was extremely sensitive. He could not take any type of teasing from his school friends not even in fun. He couldn't seem to distinguish what the difference was. This put him into a state and he didn't let it go easily. My younger son got teased in school too but it didn't bother him at all, when it was in fun.

I also know that kids have to fit in, they just have too. It's #1 in school. If they don't fit in with the jocks or the brainy kids or the athletic kids, there is nothing left but the bad, acting out kids. And that is where my son felt accepted. Too bad it got to the point it did.

We really have to be aware of who these loner type kids are in school. The kids that are bullied. My son was bullied constantly in elementary school. He was a prime target because he reacted when kids teased him. The more he reacted the more they teased. I actually worried that he would be one of those kids you hear about in the news that do terrible things. Thank God he didn't go that route. But how do we know which kids will snap? And drugs only exaggerate what they are feeling inside.

My son now feels totally accepted where he is at Christian half way house and that is a wonderful thing.
Kate

Katebcca,In reading your post, I wanted to say how important I found it to watch the peer group when raising my son! It is SO important. Who our children call friends, what kind of experience they are having in school with regard to the other children, are important, very important things.
I always said, "Watch the peer group and the rest will take care of itself." I still believe this.I have taught so many young people and many parents loose their children due to the peer group they "hang with," or how they are treated by peers!
Their lives are really about their peers, and school. If we really think about their reality, they don't have responsibilities we have, and nothing to really distract then from the peer group and school! They have only those things to obsess over and you can add a sport if they like one. That is a small world they live in and one that can implode on them easily if friendships are broken or if they are shunned by students for some reason! I tried to keep track carefully and secretly, of my son's friends and how he was accepted at school and tried to step in, in ways that were subtle to stop any sort of trouble on those fronts.
As our children grow older, I find they are like they always were: They run ahead and tell us they can do it themselves and then run back when they are afraid or need help. They do this as adults too! So, I always ask my son about his friends and how they are. I work our conversations around until I can get information on his social reality at college! I want to know so I know how his head is (and his heart.)

I'm glad, Katebcca, that your son found a group to accept him! That is SO important and it's great for moving forward. I hope he makes lasting and caring friendships so he can move further and make more progress trusting he will be liked and accepted! I wish the very best for both of you!

Please tell us how it's going, it must still have you a bit worried. I have a feeling that he might have crossed a point and is on a better road at this time.

dancer9

i also glde your son finds someplace he feels acccepted. Its important for us all with some sort of sences of belonging and understanding being extended to us. i belive more so with addicts who generallie are at odds with the world and with others. The lack of coping skills seems to be a common thread hence the 12 steap support groups AA and NA help with peer support, joint identificasion and acceptances, at lest thats the principles they were founded on, sometimes other addicts are not advanced enough in their recoverie to extend this to any great degree to another sometimes just to soare. Hopfullie theirs someone around long enough to have felt the changies that recoverie can bring to life and that they can share with the new additions to the group. As casie said its dowen to the addicted one wantting to stop and change their lives that makes the real diffrences. I think in combinasion avalibilitie of treatment of whatever kind has to be thir and then whatever motivates the addicted one, sometimes rock bottom, is right and necassarie for them, sometimes just the hope of being better that an example of someone recovering canb bring that tips the scales into the balances of the start of recoverie.
I know and reallie belive it isen't an easiething for someone A. to start recovering and B. to stay clean and recovering but it is possible.
I read a scarrie statistick that it is onlie 4% of addictes make it to and then stay in some type of recoverie, death and jail remains for the rest and off course long term psychiatrick care.

So kate following your storie with your son for over a yr now reallie warmes my hart to heer of him doing so well.

i don't know how your familie member is doing CASIE?

DANCER, i also read that food is the first substances that we can learn about that has the abilitie to change how we feel. for example, chocolate, brings about a feeling of a wee high and this is what start the first types of assosiasion between mood or mind alterasion proceding the taking of "something" progression eventualie onto drugs in some cases. yea we onlie talking about sweetie but its the leason learned between intake and resulting consiquinces, people who tend towards instant gratificasion could verie easilie find great plsure in instantness of drug use. maybee thats one of the manie predisposisional factors that can trip someone from going from occasional or recreasional drug user, to problem drug user right up to addicted user.

i don't know think casie said genetic plus circumstancial events can lead to addiction, i tend to agree their.
Still if we can alter the circumstancial with some type of educasional intervention, social skills, coping methods etc then maybee this is way we cut dowen the numbers of addicted people being left to that hell.
the addictes and their families together ends up with a big total of people being hurt within it all.

don't know how to round this off to end it lol so i just end their

Celtic, I think, because of the genetic predispostion to addiction, it's important to educate our children about the possiblility of their becoming an addict due to their genes and what to do if they find themselves obsessing over something. I know it can help if they do not ever TOUCH the stuff which a parent or a sibling became addicted to because I have a friend who is a dancer whose father was an alcholic. He refused drinking and drugs completely for his entire life so far and so far he has done well without an addiction himself. He was aware that it could happen to him and he was careful to stay completely away from what he feels ruined his father's life. I think this is a good way to approach an addiction genetic predispostion. To avoid any addictive behavior and be aware that it COULD happen is having one step ahead of the illness.
dancer9

Celtic,
My son is clean and sober for 2 years. He's in a program called Delancy St.

It's interesting that Kate mentions the lack of coping skills and impulse control that generally acompanies addiction. So true! In the program that Jesse is in, they don't leave the group complex without another buddy and frequently have a buddy with them even in the complex. Lot's of talking time going on.

Jesse says that he's gotten in the habit of talking something through with someone before he does it. He frequently finds that he's only halfway through telling someone his plan and he realizes what a bad idea it is!

Perhaps if we taught children to talk through what they were planning, listened totally and then walked them through the consequences instead of flipping out and telling them what a terrible plan it is and "how could they even think such a thing" they might learn the process.

Who knows!

Praying your son stays clean and sober for eternity. I still wonder if my youngest son is addicted to drugs, haven't seen him now for many years. All we can do as parents, is lead our children to the stream, but we can't make them drink the water.

Unfortunately like everything else in todays life, its hurry, hurry, no one wants to wait for anything, as in strength training, or dieting etc. Its take a pill or shot and get immediate results. That seems to be the mind set of todays youth and us too for that matter. Quick results with no regard for the consequences.

Anne, Being a pro athlete all my life, and someone who owned a health club for awhile, I can tell you that steroids, or "roids," as they are called, are in wide spread use!
There are tricks taught by doctors to "beat the tests," and these people have been using steriods forever! They KNOW they are bad for them and can cause all sorts of problems, even death, but the money paid for a good athlete is amazing and money talks to these guys! It's not only guys too!
I've never used them but I've been around literally hundreds of athletes who have or do! It's a nightmare!
They get aggressive, they cannot think straight, it makes them sick but able to preform because of "body memory," we all have for our sport! If really investigated, we'd find that most pro athletes have, at some point, tried steriods or use them regularly! It is getting all this press because now people are demanding answers as to why these guys are perfoming like super heros and getting awards for it. Athletes are turning in other athletes in fits of jealousy for the performances they see and know are added by steriods. I stay away from those who use because their temper is a hair trigger and I don't want to get in their way! It's a bad time when you are around some of these men's teams! I have met some, for example, the Lakers in their day, and I'm here to tell you that you can SENSE the steriods in use! There are also ways to even smell it in their body oder!
dancer with the goods!

back in the 80's, I worked out in a gym with both professional athletes and Olympic hopefuls. Even though no one admitted to taking steroids, when you see someone every day, you pretty much know. In addition to the above characteristics mentioned by Dancer, you can add: a certain tightness/squaring of the jaw in both sexes. Deeper voice and beard stubble on women. Also completely disappeared boobs and butts. On men, it was the perpetual second stringer who suddenly could do things he had never been able to before, despite no discernible change in his workout.

It was like the secret rhinoceros in your kitchen -- kinda hard NOT to see!

So, so true, Meredith, esp. those female lifters!
dancer9

From what I have seen in the past, I'd say yep!!!

A man's "hoo ha"? That funny Anne. After steroids maybe it's called hoo where?

You Bet your hoo haw!
dancer.

(Sex is not on the plate for these boys during steriod use.)

or just oH weeer?
your funnie HL lol.
i glade sports and athlets behaviour bein looked at more thouroulie as how can one reallie compeat with agenst someone else who is using.
Thing is thse ladies and guyes their the HEALTHIE alternative role models for our kids to look up too.
healthie my but

Celtic,
It's not all bad, I have been a professional ballet and jazz dancer all my life and I have never touched an illegal drug in my life!
I only have ONE dancer friend who can say that also, he and I are rare!
dancer

the sad part that there is you and onlie one frend that can say you never touched steroids.

Bet you know a whole lot more dancers than i do. One equates sports men and women with health, i find it sad that they the majoritie are fueled by druges and not just hard work, genetics and dedicasion.

SIghn of our times?

Celtic,
Let me say,I love your posts! Dance is, according to a Harvard study, the hardest sport on the body, period. What's more, a study showed that female dancers stood the MOST pain of anyone in the study inclucing MALE dancers! Ballet, Jazz is brutal, and you have to be a little bit crazy to pursue a career in it. Dancers are born, they are not made. I was dancing when I walked. I could not stop. When you walk away from the ballet barre, for the first, a least 3 years, you often go home and cry from the pain and the difficulty of the sport. It is, again, brutal!

Try this on for size, if you want to be a professional ballet dancer, you must meet these requirements:

You must be thin, and this means THIN.
You must have legs that are exactly proportionate to your body, not longer legs than torso or the other way around.
YOu will be booted if your big toe and your second toe are not equal in length. One cannot go on point unless both those toes are equal in lenght.
You cannot be flat footed
You cannot be "bow legged," or "knock knee-ed," they will throw you out right there,
You must be 5'7" or taller and that is to make it into the corps.
You must have the correct facial features, there is MUCH facial plastic surgery among young dance professionals to meet the facial requirement.

And this is just body. We dance six hours a day, every day and never miss a day. We do this through out our careers. It's up in the morning and into the studio and sometimes you are putting up your hair and drinking coffee while driving there, you must not be late of you cannot take Master Class.

There are some reasons why dancers fall to drug use. They never make it as a professional if they use drugs. One cannot dance on ANY drug. Most pro dancers are drug free and if they are not, they are on their way out.

My career was the hardest choice a person can make and I was checked for all of the above throughout my young days until I finally stood out enought to have my own independent career. I was lucky, my body fit the standerds.

dancer, with info about the career of dancing.

lol are you keeping me waiting in suspences lol, its working lol.

oh you ment the link , sorrie lol, i thought you were off somewear writting something or it had failed to post.

i not saying you or your one frend i just whishing it was more so the non steriodial pathway. Also track and feld events, bodie building...a biggie. Those sporting peoples to which it was done natralie more often, thats all.

I'm trying to imagine legs the same length as the torso. Maybe I don't understand. It seems the torso from navel to bust? is shorter than legs. What? And the big toe and the next toe must be exactly the same? Wow, if this is the case, very few dancers are born! Do dancers have their toe lengthened to match the big toe?

Food is an addiction I believe we all suffer from right before Thanksgiving until the New Year when most of our resolutions come to be. I never drank or smoked or did drugs, I used food instead of the other addictions and thats why I am a 'fluffy' woman...

Princess,
The requirements to be a "real," ballerina are so harsh that they break girls hearts everyday. A young girl is usually off track for ballet on on track (by the system,) for jazz or modern by the third year!

What I meant was that the body has to be perfectly proportioned. You can't have an overly long torso and your inseam must be long. ( My inseam for my height is long compared to others my height, giving me long legs.)

They are vicsous but there is plenty of work for those who do not cut it on the body requirements of these high end companies. I was born with luck in the body department is all.

Still, I walk and move funny from dancing all my life! LOL
dancer

thy are tough requirments all right and something i wouldn't have know. regarding the bodie requirments over and above the hard work that bit i did know about.

Is dancing a sport or art? just a thought and i genuinlie don't know how its classed.

Celtic, Thank you for your
interest in dance. I consider myself
as do my friends, an artist. We are
considered by the medical and science
community to be athletes. We are athletes to
them because we sustain such grave injury to
our bodies over the course of our career.

I feel the music flow through my body
and that is all when I dance. I am not
thinking about what I am doing, or how
I am doing it, I am thinking about the music
and how it feels and trying to show that
with my body from the tops of my fingertips
to the bottom of my feet. I become part
of the music and the story I am telling
to the audience and work very hard to
convey that to them. I want to bring them
in to the music and the story with me
so they can experience it first hand.

Did you know that dancers walk, dance
and move anytime they move, PUSHING
into the floor? I thought I would throw
in a bit of trivia too. We are always
pushing hard into the floor so our
movements look fluid and graceful.
Try pushing into the floor once
while you are walking and that is
how a dancer dances and walks! Every
foot muscle is working ever step we
take!

Thanks again, Celtic!

dancer9

i will try the pushing into the floor bit, i haven't yet but can imagine (i think) that a dancer would need something to act as a counter/ take the straine from the effort otherwise the rest of the bodie wouldn't look as gracefull.
i onlie gessing i try it then watch a bit more closlie next i see someone dances.
thanks dancer for the explinasion the big one and the little tips, its an area i don't know much about, the closest i get is the wiggling done on a dancfloor to typical music lol.
i do know what you mean about hearing/feeling the music however i not the best at translatting it or expressing it via my bodie. I do however get lost when listening to music.

i got a good clear pic of the art/athleat destinction now, makes perfect sences when put like that.

DANCER you sound passionate about dances so i assome you are passionate. Do you feel luckie having had and still having such a passion in your life?

You got it, Celtic! Do you know how many people cannot understand why dancers push into the floor?
NO one gets it!
Good for you! Wow.
dancer