0 Registered (),
101
Guests and
2
Spiders online. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
3239 Members
63 Forums
16332 Topics
210704 Posts
Max Online: 409 @ 01/17/20 03:33 AM
|
|
|
#130028 - 10/22/07 06:20 PM
And then...Re: Di - Childlessness Bothers Men
[Re: jabber]
|
Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
|
Several men I know (on our site) are saddened. But the majority are women who are crushed.
I think the women in the article are mostly those who CHOSE childlessness and are "ok" w/being career women. I am not, and never was, happy with being a career woman. Probably why I completed a two-year degree plan only to be "ready" for motherhood.
Alot of our membership are women who are married to men who've already had kids....and do NOT want more. They've "done their time" and are not interested w/more with their current wife. It's very, very sad to read that.
Then there are men who just out and out do not want ANY. Granted the women KNEW of this and "thought" they could convince the men otherwise later on, but no go.
It's a sad, misunderstood part of life that many just don't "get". They try, but you have to be in our shoes to really grasp the whole thing.
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#130030 - 10/22/07 07:19 PM
And then...Re: Di - Childlessness Bothers Men
[Re: ]
|
Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 43
Loc: Syracuse, NY USA
|
I am childless, and for many pre-menopausal years I let that bother me some, mainly because I'd just assumed I'd be a mother someday. But I also felt excluded from the "Mother club," and so many articles in traditional women's magazines didn't apply to me. As a post-menopausal boomer, I can now look back on my childless child-bearing years with no regret, as I love my life now. Besides, I have lots of nieces, nephews and now grand-nieces and nephews to spoil.
As a new arrival to this group, I would love to know if there are other childless women in NABBW, and what your experiences have been like.
_________________________
Mary Anne Ideas, inspiration and resources for aspiring, stalled and struggling writers everywhere! http://writesuccess.com
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#130031 - 10/22/07 09:56 PM
And then...Re: Di - Childlessness Bothers Men
[Re: Lefty_Writer]
|
Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#130032 - 10/23/07 02:10 AM
And then...Re: Di - Childlessness Bothers Men
[Re: Di]
|
Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 43
Loc: Syracuse, NY USA
|
My apologies, Di. Like I said, I am new here. And this struck me as a topic that I am much interested in.
_________________________
Mary Anne Ideas, inspiration and resources for aspiring, stalled and struggling writers everywhere! http://writesuccess.com
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#130033 - 10/23/07 03:06 AM
And then...Re: Di - Childlessness Bothers Men
[Re: Lefty_Writer]
|
Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
|
No need for apologies! I posted the link so you can participate!
You are welcome to our website as well. (See my signature)
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#130034 - 10/23/07 04:17 AM
Re: And then...Re: Di - Childlessness Bothers Men
[Re: Di]
|
Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
|
Quote:
Several men I know (on our site) are saddened. But the majority are women who are crushed.
I think the women in the article are mostly those who CHOSE childlessness and are "ok" w/being career women. I am not, and never was, happy with being a career woman. Probably why I completed a two-year degree plan only to be "ready" for motherhood.
Alot of our membership are women who are married to men who've already had kids....and do NOT want more. They've "done their time" and are not interested w/more with their current wife. It's very, very sad to read that.
Then there are men who just out and out do not want ANY. Granted the women KNEW of this and "thought" they could convince the men otherwise later on, but no go.
It's a sad, misunderstood part of life that many just don't "get". They try, but you have to be in our shoes to really grasp the whole thing.
I must in the minority of women here..who haven't regretted to have made the choice not to have children.
And I'm with a guy who yes, already has 2 (adult) children and doesn't want more. He was willing to defer to me, if I had any maternal instincts.
Now THIS is nuts to me. A guy must want to be a father (lst time or 2nd time round) 100%, not because he wants to please his wife. I just think it would have been unfair had I desperately wanted children, that he would have been dragged in half-enthused. Not fair either.
Did he want to have children at the time with his ex? He honestly answers me at that time, he was neutral about having children.
I am very much at peace, that I chose not to have children. If I was ever curious what the end result of a Asian and blue-eyed German baby would be...I just have to look at my niece and nephew...my sister married a blue-eyed Scottish-Brit.
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#130035 - 10/23/07 11:59 PM
Re: And then...Re: Di - Childlessness Bothers Men
[Re: orchid]
|
Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 43
Loc: Syracuse, NY USA
|
Ahhh, Di, thank you for pointing me back to the other thread. I just spent the last half hour reading through it. And when I click on your link, it doesn't bring me anywhere--could you post the URL?
To Orchid, you might be in the minority, but you certainly aren't alone. My mother had seven pregnancies, five children, and I don't think she ever enjoyed being a mother. In her day, though, very few women felt that they could choose not to have children. I think we are more open to different options today, or at least more used to seeing different lifestyles. (I can't say more "open," because there certainly are many, many closed-minded people who reject lifestyles other than what they consider to be "normal.")
I was probably my mother's opposite. In my early twenties, I said to her, "I think I'd make a better mother than a wife." My mother almost swooned at the thought that I might go and have a child out of wedlock. That too has changed today,
So as it turns out, I never married, and because I didn't want to alienate my parents, I never had children. By the time I settled into a committed relationship, it was with a man who had already had a vasectomy and was unwilling to even think about having more children than the two he had.
So I am a true CNBC-er, which someohow makes me feels more connected.
_________________________
Mary Anne Ideas, inspiration and resources for aspiring, stalled and struggling writers everywhere! http://writesuccess.com
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#130036 - 10/24/07 12:38 AM
Re: And then...Re: Di - Childlessness Bothers M
[Re: Lefty_Writer]
|
Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
|
Mary Anne, it works now...in my signature.
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|