Our cable has been out all evening. So I couldn't post a reply to all of those who have taken there time to offer advice and encouragement.

Now, I'm staring at this screen with one eye open. Will write tomorrow.

Sweet dreams,

Emily

He sounds like a guy who feels he expresses more...in action. If only it was remotely some intimacy that he wanted..vs. just deep cleaning the kitchne.

However his way of making up to you...will still be his style...but hopefully better improved in his self-expression to you.

As for work, don't apologize for yourself to any direct manager/supervisor. Just carry on your job cheerfully. You are being paid for your work after all. YOu can't go wrong on this..especially if other co-workers see consistent positive work patterns from you.

This is the best dignity you can uphold for yourself ..while you hunt for a better job on the side.

Well, at least I have a clean kitchen - well, almost.

I wonder if I can take an anti- interested in sex hormone shot or pill.

This would solve some of our issues.

Emily in Maryland

Emyjay,
Hope you have flesh-n-blood support, like close friends or family to lean on. Your husband sounds the way mine acts, forget about affection. That isn't even in his vocabulary. Verbal expression isn't there either. But I went through one divorce; it was at Christmastime. Guess I'd rather live separately together, than separately apart. But either way, it's no fun. I pray you find healing and happiness!
Ciao girl...

I wish I could help - sounds like you are in an intolerable situation. I agree with Casey/Anno - focus on your positives. Are there any kinds of group activiites that you can participate in (reading groups, exercise groups) where you can get some positive re-inforcement and perhaps do some networking ?

Nan

Emyjay..yes you do..you have somewhere to go, if you really need it, I am sure. I had "no where to go" when I decided to seperate from my husband..and within about a month, a good friend called me to tell me that her son was traveling to the US (to play hockey) and I could have his apartment for about a year. The apartment was in the middle of Stockholm and I staid the year..if you really need something, it will come to you..
You know, Emyjay, you can get so much from your friends, old and new..but they can´t take the place of the intimacy that you can have with your partner. Won´t you be trying to fill a hole that cannot be filled???
You have talked to therapists along your way and I am sure that they can help you better than I can. I am just trying to raise some questions and thoughts..Maybe your husband has some intimacy issues that he needs help with? Or maybe he´s finding turning 60 difficult?
Thinking of you..and good luck..

Yeah, I tend to think your hubby has some major issue going on. Maybe he feels like he can't perform and is afraid to take a chance.

Have you communicated with him about this in a sane conversation? Does he really know how you feel? Have you written him a letter to share your emotions and how important this is to you? Maybe you could take a nice little mini vacation to get away from whatever may stress him at home?

I wouldn't give up. You sound very healthy about your needs and addressing them. I think sharing this with us was a big step. However, I would leave the ex out of it. Try to focus on making things right with your hubby. I'll be praying for a nice heart to heart conversation about the issue. At least, then, he will know exactly where you stand.

Emyjay,
Perhaps, the guy can't help the way he acts? My husband was raised by very private people; none of his family can put three WORDS together. His mom's a little more outgoing, now.
But it's been over 25 years that we've been married. His
brother talks less than he does. They don't know how to express affection; they don't how to say sweet nothings; they don't know how to even write lovey-dovey stuff. Some of it could be gender. It's been my experience that guys good at coming on strong, also cheat. The man must have some good qualities. Something attracted you to him. Focus on his best; and like Dotsie says, tell him what bugs you.
I haven't seen a perfect man, yet. Though, my dad was close to perfect. My hubby has his faults but so do I. As I've heard others say, "There was only ONE that was perfect and you know what they did to HIM!"
Prayers and blessings...

Emyjay,
It sounds as if you're fed up. I'm sure many boomers have been there and done that. From here on in, I just want you to know I really do understand. It's just that I don't give a rat's a*& anymore, as far as my own situation is concerned. But if U R in the market for something new, bws is here for U. Prayers and blessings!!!!

Emjay, About not being touched: Human touch is SO powerful and SO important.
I am a Chronic Pain patient and at times, a TOUCH in the right way can STOP amazing and unimagineable pain! Human touch is powerful, very!
If you are not touched, you are not completely alive! You must feel touch and touch in a positive and loving way.
I'm so sorry this is happening but I wanted to stress to you the importance of human touch in our lives!
I hope you find a way to be touched with love and respect and with a positive energy that will revive you and more!
dancer