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#128199 - 09/21/07 01:28 AM
Enough is Enough
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Member
Registered: 03/25/05
Posts: 208
Loc: Central Pennsylvania
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That has been my theme song lately. I finally got the courage to follow through. I'm shaking as I'm writing this. Last Friday, I kicked out my alcoholic, abusive husband. The night before, exploded over a conversation he initiated about driving the kids to school. I told him I didn't have a problem getting the kids to school, that I didn't realize that his driving them was a problem. Okay. End of discussion. Nope. He wouldn't accept my answer. Instead, he began belittling and criticizing me. He jumped from subject to subject, criticizing everything he could possible think of. It escalated from there. Two of my kids were home, and they saw the danger in the situation and got out, went to their friend's house. I started to leave but when I reached the car, husband tried to stop me. I backed away but he continued after me. He stopped. I went straight to the police station, but I sat outside for a while and didn't have the courage to go in. Later, safely at a friend's house, I called the police from there. They escorted me home so I could collect some belongings. Because he hadn't struck me, they couldn't remove him from the house, they told me. Husband was passed out drunk. They did give me information on domestic violence and filing a PFA.
This has been going on for 17 years. Husband was incarcerated in 2000, but I made the mistake of letting him back several months after he got out. What was keeping me from kicking him out all these years is money. I am not making enough money to support me and the kids. But last week I finally said enough is enough. I kicked him out. Told him if he didn't leave, I would file the PFA. I've been worried about how I'm going to pay the rent and the bills. He was a deadbeat, so the rent is two months behind and my gas is off, and the utilities are past due. I'm having faith. I passed him in the car yesterday, and I began shaking. I was panicky all day. I told myself to remember those physiological symptoms every time I get second thoughts. I was one of the lucky ones. I'm still alive and so are my kids. I'm able to breathe easier. He is getting pretty pissed off over my independence, and he is trying to thwart it. I will not let him this time.
And now that I wrote that, I have to stick to it. Thanks for letting me rant.
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#128201 - 09/21/07 01:48 AM
Re: Enough is Enough
[Re: Katrinka]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Katrinka, I wish I knew what to say or do that could help. My heart aches with/for you in this situation. All I can do for now is carry you in my heart-prayer and let you know that I care.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#128202 - 09/21/07 02:06 AM
Re: Enough is Enough
[Re: Eagle Heart]
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Katrinka, if not already, please contact your local domestic violence shelter. Not only for support and counseling for you and the kids, but b/c they have resources (referrals) that to assist financially. For instance, can refer you to agencies to assist with rent, utilties, groceries, housing, etc. You may have to do the leg work, yet worth it. Also, the shelter may have (or refer) legal assistance/advice. Follow through and do not ever let him in your personal space, home, workplace, etc. If you move, have unlisted phone, number block, do not provide physical address, possible P.O. box if affordable, etc. Push for child support and if possible, take advantage of the 'dead beat' parent laws (as applicable for your local gov't / state law). Do not be afraid to accept assistance from others. Here's a link you may find useful: http://www.womenslaw.org/PA/PA_statutes.htmGood luck and please keep in touch and ask for any advice/support you may ever need here.
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#128205 - 09/22/07 07:41 PM
Re: Enough is Enough
[Re: jawjaw]
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Member
Registered: 03/25/05
Posts: 208
Loc: Central Pennsylvania
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Thank you all for your posts, for your love, for your prayers and support. It means so much to me. You will help me to stay strong, as I know there are going to be some tough times. Thank you, too for the resources, especially the link to the PA statutes. I've been procrastinating, but I do plan to get some counseling and legal help. I'm wondering, will the DV shelter only provide me with resources to obtain financial assistance if I file a PFA? So far, Ex (it feel so good to say that!) has been complying and does not come into the house. Tomorrow we are getting together "to talk" (his words). I'm still waiting for a portion of September's rent from him. I'm stressing about it already.
Again, thank you so much for all your support. Hugs to all!
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