What some might imagine is anger, is likely not. Emotional possibly, over excited more than likely, but not anger. Personally, I wouldn't want to belong or contribute to any forum where an exchange of ideas, even if a bit excited, would not be allowed.

To get back on track with Whirlwinds original posting. I married my highschool sweet heart. He was three years older than me. My second husband was 20 years my senior. Both my two husbands died. I married a man who I was 8 years older than, it was a flop, not because of age but because he was dishonest from day one. I don't believe age means a hill of beans, if someone makes you happy no matter their age, go for it. We humans put too many restrictions on ourselves as it is, why look for even more? Happy is, as happy does.

Well, I apologize for lashing out. Ladies and I DO mean ladies, all of you. I've felt like a cornered animal for such a long time. So many things have come at me so fast and I've either had to duck and cover my face and head or try hard to dodge them or in this instance fight back.
I'm basically a lover and not a fighter but sometimes you have just frickin had enough and that's when you should just go off somewhere and breathe or count to 10 or something.
Everyday of my life is a challenge. I need friends and people who love me yet I want so desperately to be understood and accepted for who I am that most of the time I just insult people lash out at them and shove them away because I feel that once they truly get to know me, they won't like me anyway....AND I get tired of feeling I have to defend myself to people who really have NO frickin idea what life is really all about for some of us. Its OK that's the path you have and this is the path I have. I'll try harder to empathize with you, but don't even try to judge me or put me into a pidgeonhole that makes you feel more comfortable about who you are.
Just yesterday my daughter (the mother of the two who live with me) found out she has cancer and while she was leaving the doctor's office someone rear ended her and totalled her car. That same day I had to pay her cable bill so was unable to pay mine, while on the same day checking to see if DCF had approved us for an EBT card. I just accepted a new job yesterday which means I'll have to go through orientation and training all over again and the guy I foolishly let myself care for, dumped me because we were in his words, "incompatible". (and we were) but it still hurts and I still cry when I allow myself to and that isn't often.
That's just a typical day for me regardless that some seem to think I'm making it all up. I live in a frickin nightmare on Elm st and there are bright spots and wonders and awesome breaks, but most of the time I'm that frightened, angry trapped animal being bombarded and threatened by a pitbull frothing at the mouth ready to devour me and mine.
So, take it for whatever you will. That's my life and God knows I'm doing the very best I can and I was just thanking him today for my health so I CAN go out there and meet my obligations and for the ability to do it. I appreciate my sexuality....shoot its one of the free pleasures I have in my life and you want to take that away from me too! I'm careful and NOT promiscuous. One thing I am is open and honest and what you see is what you get whether you like it or not. It's me.

You know New Leaf, this isn’t the first time that I thought you express yourself very well and that you’re quite an intelligent lady with a lot of spunk.

You’re right, I can only imagine how hard life must be for you. It’s certainly giving you more then your share of hurdles. But your posts also convey a strong person; a fighter who lands on her feet.

Sometimes it takes a new out-look on life; sometimes it helps to be influenced by the right people, … whatever,…It is never too late to make a new beginning. Congratulations on your new job! What a way to start, and I hope you meet new fascinating people that will show you another kind of life. Give them a chance. They aren’t as boring as you think.

And as for your daughter’s illness, you have my deepest sympathies, and well wishes that she, as so many others, will recover completely.

I believe that we women are forced so often to carry what feels like the weight of the world on our shoulders. Sometimes its not the person or situation that angers us, its the other hundred bad things that we have endured during the week and this one thing becomes the straw that breaks the camels back. I am no one to judge anyone. I don't exactly live the Mary Poppins lifestyle myself. I get really bummed out hearing some of what is said here but thats my problem and I need to just keep it to myself. I can see where some might think me a bully because I say whats on my mind as I see it. Bluntness upsets some people. I should know that by now and just shut the he// up...

Like my mother says about bad things happening, "When It Rain It Pours!"

Newleaf, I am sorry about your daughter, from what you've said of her in the past, I fear this will become 'your' problem as well. I will keep you and yours in my prayers.

Thanks. She has to go for a biopsy next week and they'll decide what to do from there. She's only 24! Sometimes I feel like the guy holding his finger in the dike and the flood waters are rising.
I drink too much and can't afford my medication to make it all seem better...lol
Anyway, I also realize I'm getting older and that's a bitter pill to swallow for someone who used to be a beauty queen. Sometimes you just have to take it one minute at a time instead of one day at a time.
I hope my new job will be an open door a good opportunity for all of us.

Forced into aging.

My Mom is terribly hard of hearing, so when I converse with her I got to strain my vocal chords. Hubby doesn’t hear or doesn’t want to. It’s seldom that I don’t have to repeat what I say at least 2 to 4 times. My brother was here, and is beginning to lose his hearing…He also has the typical male sickness;…hears only when he wants to. Everyone around me is forgetting things, losing items, talking about getting old and dying.

Yikes! I’m not ready for this. I still want to party! When I’m with people who still think young and are young it’s like a breeze of fresh air. We visited the October fest, and sat at a table with a group of young men in there twenties. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. Of course the beer helped us get silly and forget our age differences. At the same table, my brother and hubby sat silently, not getting the gist of what was going on because it was so loud in the tent, and it was too much of a strain on them. We drove home in a silent car…everyone else beat…but I was still in the partying mood.
What a damper.

So that’s why I believe big age differences are fine when you are both young, but later in life, the younger one suffers, and the older one feels guilty about it. Not good.

My stbex, seems to want to get old. He wanted me to sit on the couch and watch mind candy on TV, or worse football, game after game, and take two naps a day and play bingo on Tues. nites and go to the same bar every other night, and hang out at the Elk's Lodge and go to visit "older" friends...etc.
He aged me 10 years at least!! Now, by the grace of God, I've assessed the damage and am now in the reclaimation mode. I've stopped drinking, am eating right, am drinking lots of water to rehydrate my skin, am taking e,b12, c and zinc, breathing, getting plenty of aerobics and stretches and muscle building, I've gone for an eval on my smile and its going to cost boocoo bucks.
But, its time to start thinking about myself for a change. Its way past time. And if there ever is someone else out there, someone unique to me..then at least I won't have to hide under layers of clothing and pounds of makeup.
I get what Hannelore is saying, I hope at least I'm getting it right...Older thinking people can drag you down, discourage you from being all you can be or were meant to be. Many times they don't mean to. They don't have a master plan to bring you down, it just happens.
You can make a decision to stay in that situation with them and let them rain on your parade and criticize you for not acting your age, or silently relay that message OR just live and enjoy what time you may have on this earth. Laugh often and much with those who are laughing and let those who choose to B & M (b*&^% & M*%$) continue to do so until their dying day.

The air must be different here. Older people I know are dynamic, intelligent, out there doing things, athletic. Even when their minds are obviously elsewhere, they are doing things to make the world a better place -- at least from their point of view. (The lady down the street is constantly rearranging the dirt in her yard to make it more beautiful.)

My neighbor next door is in his 70s and on the go all the time. Even, my 90-year-old writing friend, who is confined to a wheelchair, is a dynamite thinker and reader. These are my role models! With all this spunk around me, aging doesn't fear me. I might have to make some adjustments, but I'm working out and losing weight and feeling mentally better than I have my entire life. It's a great thing!

Life is interesting. It's all in your attitude, I've come to believe.

I couldn't resist chiming in.....some of you know that my husband is 70 years young. I just gave him a surprise birthday party last weekend. He still works full time as an attorney and is full of energy and life. I think working is what keeps him sharp, plus having me around keeps him on his toes! LOL We are getting ready to take a trip to Sedona next month to visit some of the energy vortexes and take in the beauty of the west. He has no idea what energy vortexes are, but he knows I'm interested so he is game. Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks!

How exciting for you! You must go to Prescott after Sedona. Sedona is absolutely beautiful but I found it kind of boring. Not much to do except hike and look for you vibrational hum...LOL! Have a wonderful trip!