As a mother of a son 25 and one 22 I would be very upset if a woman that much older was dating one of my sons.

You have to also consider they haven't had children of their own and will probably want some one day even if they say they don't now. A 40 something woman can't give that to them.

On the flip side of that situation, I've known two women in their 40's and 50's who have married much younger men and have regretted it. Their boy toys took them for all they had and flew the coop.

Immaturity and "neediness" isn't connected to age. I have known both young men and older men to possess those qualities (and young and old who haven't).

I do not want to "take care of" anybody (not in that way, I think you all know what I mean with that statement). And I don't want anybody depending on me for their happiness. A partnership is not one sided, each person contributes. I suppose that's why I've remained single, life is great not having to deal with that (I was married for 18 years to a man who didn't know how to turn on the washing machine and who pouted when he didn't get his way). Geez.

I guess we all need to be careful no matter what our age. Lonely men and women are more likely to let themselves be taken advantage of (like the women mentioned in Laurel's post above, losing everything to their "boy toys." How sad. And I know that happens every day, to men and to women. I'm sure we can all cite several examples that we have personal knowledge of).

I did mention this situation to my brother and his reply amazed me (but then he's always surprising me these days). He said "who cares as long as you're happy, life is short."

Then I asked how he'd feel if one of his sons dated a woman that much older and he said "why would it matter if they were happy?"

I know there are definite thoughts and opinions on both sides of this issue. This has been interesting reading!

Thanks again gals!

Whirlwind

Whirlwind,

The reactions from the women here...are going to be pretty much like the reactions from the world...some will think you're crazy...some will understand perfectly...some won't care one way or the other...

And the truth of the matter is...there are only two opinions that matter...yours and his...

Well, I had the younger guy over to my home, as he had asked me out, the other night and he was a perfect gentleman. I'm totally blown away by him. He was romantic, thoughtful, funny, interesting, comfortable to be around and interested in me.

He wanted nothing but to please me and to have an enjoyable experience. It was wonderful for both of us. I don't want a relationship with anyone. I'm not looking to get married again. I don't give a big hang what his mother thinks or his father or anyone else for that matter. The man is 31! In this day when 1 in 4 marriages ends in divorce, and lines that have defined us in the past are fading, its not such a long shot to find that what you're looking for is right in front of you if only for a short time.

Life is too short to waste even one minute saying "I shouldn't, I'd better not, What will people think?" We had a memorable night.

And if he doesn't "please" you, how does he express this to you?

well, you'll find out.

My honey, the much older guy, just says: "do it yourself". And he's right...I would anyway, if I was single...which many things I've done alone when he's not around or before I met him.

Orchid, I'm not sure what you mean. I just meant he wanted me to like him. He showed me his business card and told me about his life prior to meeting me. He is so refreshingly innocent and easy to get along with. I loved every minute of his company.
I'm just as innocent and unaffected as he is. We looked at each other's feet. I gave him a foot massage. It was so funny. We had a great time and had a few Modelo's and listened to Van Morrison and watched Seinfeld..I'm still smiling!

Newleaf, Go for it, you are certainly both adults no matter what the age difference. We can have a pleasurabe time with someone of another sex without looking for a commitment. I go to dinner and meet many men of all ages at private home outings and we have a great time. Do I love them, NO! Am I looking for a commitment NO! When the night is over we go to our seperate homes and thats that!! I don't even ask a man his age, who cares? I also keep my age to myself, its not their business, Its not like I'm auditioning for something!!

I never would have agreed with you in another life, Chatty, but at this stage I couldn't agree more. Did any of you see that movie where Meryl Streep was a psychologist and her client was gorgeous Uma Thurman? The whole theme was about an older woman with a younger man who just happened to be Meryl Streep's son.

I'm not looking for anything. I just completely enjoy his company. Some people are very special people and he is one of them. I feel honored and just plain happy to be around him. I was thinking about it this morning and its like an internal message was that I'm special too and shouldn't think he's more special than I am. He should also be honored to be with me.

Because I'm very sensitive and easily hurt, I have surrounded myself with "a few good men" to cushion the fall if it should happen that he moves on. Its a self protective feature.

I like myself and can be alone, but I find that men bring good challenge and incentive to morph and improve those things I can, especially my self image and internal messages about myself.

My ex's 20 yr. old daughter and I sat and talked for a long time last night about relationships and men. She is in love with a man 24 yrs. her senior and he with her. He is old enough to be her father.
I asked her why she would fall for a man over twice her age and she said because of the way he treated her when they first started dating. He is Hispanic and very romantic and thoughtful of her.
He has children older than her. She has had a very traumatic childhood and has been treated like crap. This guy, even though much older than her fills some very basic needs for her.
She says age doesn't matter at all to her and that it shouldn't to me either. That's the closest I've ever felt to her.