Kate, I wouldn't assume that the young man got out of your date because of your age difference. There are many other reasons he changed his mind, and it may have not had anything do to with you, it could've been more about what was going on in his life.

I don't let the age thing get to me. We know many men our own age only date younger women, but I've dated a few younger ones who didn't care.

All I can say is...he IS the kindest, sweetest, most chivalrous man I've met in ages. I just want to look at him once in a while and smile...I just enjoy immensely knowing he is here in the same room with me. I never have to touch him or anything. Just knowing he is there makes me feel better about the world.

Hi,
Just found this thread and couldn't help but chime in. My husband is 21 years older than I am. I NEVER thought that I would date someone that much older let alone marry. However, he won me over with the old fashioned ways that a man used to treat a woman and I loved it. There were NO games...it was so refreshing. Although there are challenges in our ways of thinking...he is ultra conservative, where I am more liberal, we have a great time together. Believe me, I thought through very carefully what my life would be like in the future before making the comittment, but I know it is worth it.

hotflashgirl, how long have you been married and how did you meet? Aren't I nosey? I know a couple that had an eleven year disparity in age and I can't say that it was a bad thing. Age didn't seem to play a part in their marriage. They were from the greatest geneartion and have both died so that's why I speak in past tense. I didn't wnat you to think they divorced.

I have been married for a little over 3 years. We met ballroom dancing. My husband openly admits that he was looking, I was just content to do my dancing, but looks like the universe had other plans for me! He also admits that he prefers younger women. As I mentioned in my previous post, I had no interest in an older man. My husband does not look his age...I thought he was in his late 50's but he was 65!! This Sept. he will be celebrating his 70th. My 17 year old daughter thinks it is totally gross, and my 20 year old son is happy that I have someone who cares for me, and has made my life easier. I had been single for a long time, so marriage was a huge adjustment for me, but it would have been like that no matter who I married. I had forgotten that marriage is work, but it is worth it. Here is something to make it even more interesting.....he has a law practice that has been established for years and it is 3 hours away. So, he is only home from Thurs.-Sun. Actually, this has worked out great for us because it gives me time with my children during the week and to spend the huge amount of time on my business that I need. He loves his work and would go crazy if he didn't have it. When he comes home, we spend our time together. Some women I have spoken to think it is a great set up..haha. Even though it is not conventional, it works for us.

Sounds like a marriage made in heaven to me. I say if it works for you, then it is wonderful and that's all that matters.

Hotflashgal, sounds like a marriage made in heaven to me, you've got it all. A man to love and time to be your own woman. Does he have a friend??

Chatty....you can't imagine how many women say that, and I agree. I became quite used to having my own time over the years, so this does work out great. I think, once my daughter leaves for college, and I have more time I would welcome more physical company. Right now, my days are so full with my full time teaching job, my new business and my teenage daughter who is home for one more year, that I often struggle to find time for myself. For years I was a bit of a clinging vine, if you know what I mean, but as I have gotten older, I have become quite comfortable with myself and don't need so much attention! You never know what "package" the right fit will come in. So...keep your eyes open! LOL

What a neat arrangement. I didn't realize you still had a child at home. This also gives you time to be with her before she goes away. I think it's great. I have been happily married for 28 years, but I have also noticed that I am much more comfortable spending time alone. It's good to have space in a marriage to do what you like without your spouse.

I have a friend who has a similar marraige arrangement. Her husband is a way a few days a week and it also seems to be working for them. I think it's best to set your own ideals within each marriage instead of going by what SHOULD be.

I find myself sick of shoulds at midlife.