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#11710 - 08/09/04 06:15 PM Mom and Dad may be living with me....
Toni Offline
Member

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 504
Loc: Pennsylvania
Hi Ladies,

Don't forsee this happening right away but I do see where my mom or dad or both may be living with Roy and me in the next couple of years. My relationship with them is fair and I love them very much but I'm uneasy about them staying with us--they are somewhat demanding and critical.

Any suggestions that might make living with them easier?

Really appreciate you input; for this is an area where I need help!

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#11711 - 08/09/04 06:41 PM Re: Mom and Dad may be living with me....
DonnaJ Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/03
Posts: 1076
Loc: Ohio, USA
Hi, Toni. Have you read the Boundaries series by Drs. Cloud and Townsend? They are really great at helping the reader see where their responsibility ends with demanding people. Guilt is a big weapon. The books have been a tremendous help to me.

Donna

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#11712 - 08/10/04 07:33 AM Re: Mom and Dad may be living with me....
Toni Offline
Member

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 504
Loc: Pennsylvania
Donna,

Have not read the "Boundaries" series but sounds like just what I need! Thank you so much! Will check this out at my local bookstore.

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#11713 - 08/10/04 02:24 AM Re: Mom and Dad may be living with me....
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
I envy you and have asked my mom (84) to come stay with me. She too can be and is demanding and feisty too but I would adore having her here. I would just let them hang out and go about your business as you would normally. Just because they are there doesn't mean you have to entertain them or that they want to be entertained BUT it could be such a warm, loving experience and although testy at times it could be so wonderful. Bless you for thinking of them and being a good loving daughter. God will help.

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#11714 - 08/10/04 02:58 PM Re: Mom and Dad may be living with me....
Toni Offline
Member

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 504
Loc: Pennsylvania
Thank you so much, Chatty. I think I needed to read those words. They can be difficult but I do like being with them and I've always wanted the best for them.

I'll see what the good Lord has in store. I feel that it will happen in a couple of years--their health is not good and they're lonely.

Sometimes a word in season, is so wonderful!

God Bless...

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#11715 - 08/10/04 05:56 PM Re: Mom and Dad may be living with me....
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
We need to get Thistle in this forum when she returns from Russia. I bet she could help.

A friend just told me yesterday that her dad may be coming to live iwth her. He has cancer and alzheimers.

We're getting the pb and j squeezed right out of us in the sandwich generation. [Wink]

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#11716 - 08/10/04 06:20 PM Re: Mom and Dad may be living with me....
Toni Offline
Member

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 504
Loc: Pennsylvania
That is for sure! Cancer and Alzheimer's! How terrible for anyone!

I have a terrible feeling my mom could be in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's...she has many of the symptoms...

If that's the case, I've got to do some researching reading so I can help her...What a terrible disease!

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#11717 - 08/10/04 09:34 PM Re: Mom and Dad may be living with me....
Maggie Offline
Member

Registered: 02/19/03
Posts: 765
Loc: Oregon
Toni,
Several of us have been through this with the dementia and alzheimers and will be here to help you. I think the 24 hour day is a great book. The Notebook was good too.
I kept a journal throughout mothers illness and I think it helped me more than her.
Maggie

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#11718 - 08/11/04 12:01 AM Re: Mom and Dad may be living with me....
Toni Offline
Member

Registered: 12/11/03
Posts: 504
Loc: Pennsylvania
Wonderful ideas, Maggie--especially the one about keeping a journal. Writing down thoughts help so much and help keep treasured memories alive.

It's also a wonderful way to remember precious days..

Thank you..

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#11719 - 08/11/04 02:40 AM Re: Mom and Dad may be living with me....
Maggie Offline
Member

Registered: 02/19/03
Posts: 765
Loc: Oregon
Toni,
One of our favorite tapes was Folks with Tom Selleck. We were going through it all and this was so funny and right on target for us at the time. I remember laughing so hard I cried. [Big Grin] Course I've always liked Tom Selleck too. [Wink]
Maggie

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