I'm all over that idea!!!!!

Dianne will just HAVE to wear her bra at the slumber party - so that boys don't come in heards to knock down the door!

lol

danita

Okay ya'll (I'm using my Paula Deen voice)...ya'll come on and we'll have a good time...We'll eat things that are bad for us, laugh until we cry...cry until we laugh, share photos and talk about things only walk talk about together...
Gosh, if only this could happen...THAT would be so cool. Oh, well...

Dear Mrs. Madness,

When I read your first post, I started weeping. Because I understand - can truly empathize -- with every word, every lost dream -- every unmet human need you so touchingly expressed.

Because, my friend, I am there also. Here in the US, in Maryland, I am hurting just as you are.

I've had years of counseling for depression. But, I've had a breakthrough.

I am not angry. I am hurt. I am weeping for all of the years that I have given to a man who never says, "I love you," refuses to hold my hand, who never even pats me on the back.

Since his father died, the years ago, anything I did share with him has slowly faded away.

You see, he is an only child. He takes his mother to football games at Maryland University. They have season tickets.

He takes her down to her beach cottage approximately every other Sunday. I no longer go, because she rides in our backseat and I can no longer even look at her.

I am not mean to her, it's just that she took over my husband for the year after his father's death. And, over ten years later, they are the couple and I am the third party in the car.

I must continue on the next post. I will time out.

Love,
Emily in Maryland

On Tuesday's, they eat out together and I am not invited.

I have an grown only child from a first marriage. In that case, the love of my life abandoned me. He's been missing for approximately 20 years. He got involved with drugs and was changed from the love of my life, to someone neither me nor friends or family could even recognize.

Our son, my son was born with a bilateral cleft of the lip and palate. He had allowed our insurance to lapse. Two days after my baby was born, I was told I had no insurance.
He came to the hospital, brought his girlfried with him, and I went into shock. Literally.

I was raised Baptist and did not believe in divorce. I waited so many years, hoping he would come back from where ever he had gone.

I married John because I had been dating him for some time, while I was living with my mother and father. He and my son were so close. My son -- from the time he was six-months old -- had to endure so many surgeries. How do you tell a baby that his arms have to be restrained so he won't injure his face? How do you look into your baby's terrified eyes and somehow convey that he can't be fed because he is facing surgery once again?

So, I married John. I knew he had a "mean streak."

He does not hit me. He has just been with holding affection from me since approximately one year after we were married.

I am an emotionally abused woman, who cannot leave because she's 59 and has no where to go.

So, I just look for all of the good that I can. I have four cocker spaniels and I love them and they love me.

I have two grandsons, and I love them and they love me.

I am in a marrital crisis right now. But I'll get through it as will you.

Because, in the end, you have to learn how to love yourself. You have to make yourself a cup of tea or light a candle if those are the little things that bring you comfort.

Will continue.

((((Mrs. Madness))))

My heart goes out to you.

Emily

I work because the children I care for hug me. Their parents share their heartaches -- and triumps - with me.

This show of affection soothes me.

My supervisor is horrible. Mean.

But, she isn't around me much, because I'm "on site," and she's usually in the field or in her office.

I choose to focus on those children and the affection I receive from them and their parents.

I hope that you'll read what I've written, so that you won't feel alone with your pain.

You will be okay. Really. As will I and so many others who feel emotionally abandoned.

My love to you, dear.

Emily in Maryland

Re: bras!

I've been wearing Breezies bras. I order mine from QVC. I think the one I wear, most of the time, is the Barely Breezies.

It's got underwire, but doesn't pinch. It's got light padding, enough to allow me to walk into a cold room filled with strangers!

It's got three hooks in the back, but the "wings" are not too wide. Mostly, the straps actually stay up!

Also, it's lined with some fabric called ultamare (sp).

Draws the perspiration from my body like a wick. I love, love, love this feature.

Actually, I think the owner of the company Kathy Gendel (sp) and her two grown daugthers, only sell though Qvc.

I do not like their top selling bra, which I found out was a "mimimizer." I've gotten fuller in the breast area post Menopause, which was great because I needed more in that area. I'm happy with what I have now, and definitely do not want my boobs to be minimized!

The Barely Breezies bras are cut lower, which gives me more cleavage but not too much.

I have to say, I'm curious about the Victoria Secret bras.

I used to wear them, but changed to breezies because I needed more "water control!"

Breezing along, here in Maryland.

Emily

I can relate to you. Everyone has great insight and suggestions. Take time to be with friends for a feeling of self-worth. Take a vacation but invite him to join you. Go even if he says no. You will not change him unless he sees a need to. Maybe he likes living with himself better than with you. I have been divorced twice and married 12 years now to a very difficult man. Again, give me an email when you need to vent.

Emyjay

I accidentally bumped into some old music last week, music that I hadn't heard in 30 years and had totally forgotten about. Normally I dislike nostalgia but it unexpectedly sent me back to when I was young, early 20's, when I had dreams and the future was so big and everything was possible. I have this image of being the same self all my life just ever a little older and older but basically the same.

But when I thought back to the kind of person I was when that music came out it shook me. I am not the same person. Everything is not possible anymore. Things that have gone awry cannot be fixed. It's too late to fix those things and too much life has gone by and so much of that early optimism is gone too. Too many heartaches have come and gone and that changes you forever.

It was this song, "The Circle Game" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep7uySNpUyw

"We can't return, but can only look behind from where we came,
And go round and round in the cirle game."

Joni Mitchell was 21 when she wrote that.

That was, and still is, an amazing song. I heard Arlo Guthrie once say that songs aren't created, they are just plucked from the air.