I know many of you don't like me and wish I would just disappear or leave this forum. But just like many of you, I feel deeply and love deeply. I love my grandchildren just as you do.

Sunday morning my little Aaliyah disclosed something so horrible and so hurtful that I have filed a police report and am now facing some very rocky seas.

Please pray for God's perfect will to be done.

I am glad that you filed a police report. And, of course, Aaliyah has my heart and prayers during this rough time. I hope that she will not suffer from long term ill effects from what ever horrendous thing has happened.

I'm so sorry that something awful has happened to your family. Praying for a good outcome.

Carrying you both in my heart-prayers today...

Newleaf: Sad to know you feel unloved by some here, and to know your family is going through difficulties. Aaliyah is in my prayers, and the whole family too! Praying for strength, justice, and God's blessing over each one. Please know that you are not alone.

It is good that you are doing your best in this case. May God enlighten, protect and strengthen you too. Blessings!

Eagle, good to see you around, dear friend!

Newleaf, I'm sorrry to hear not only that something horrific grieves your grandchild, but also that you don't feel liked here. I never go that impression. I wish you and your granddaughter love and light.

Oh gosh, I hate to hear this. I will pray for all of you. I'm really sorry.

By Friday, it should all be over. I will have missed a week of work and the heartbreak of knowing I was the protector of someone so precious and trusted her own dad who seemed to love her and be protective of her...

Like I was reminded of today, "Everything happens for a reason".

NL, just continue to be the best protector you can be. That's all you can do. Hopefully you have put a stop to things before the worst could happen.

I am going to be proactive here.

Why should someone feel unloved...?

Good Friday is nearly here and if we search our hearts what better place to start th Easter message than here amongst girlfriends.
>Mountain ash

Good Friday ©

Scotland
2004

What did they say those who built it
Did they say another dollar another day
Like those on a production line
Did they or he… one man may have made it
Say another nail…
Was wood stored in some wood yard
Or did the axe fell a tree to build it
Was it built in vengeance or fear
Was there anyone who said
I am having nothing to do with this

Two others were beside Him
Did one man make all three crosses
Did he know how his work would become
A symbol of recognition for all to remember

Mountain ash

Mountain, did you write that?
Thanks for being proactive. Love it.

NL, since you are such a wonderful grandmother,your grandchild knew the information was safe with you. Be happy about it. I'm with Hannelore. Maybe it's been a tough week, but suppose whatever happened had gone on for years... Count your blessings. God is good.

Yes Dotsie...my work.
Yes New Leaf your Grandaughter is safe having you...

My thoughts are with you all.
Mountin ash

May God's love, mercy, and special favor be with you and your loved ones as you go through this difficult time. May He grant you that one-of-a-kind peace (that only He can) that surpasses all understanding. I'd like to suggest that you stay in The Word. It states that, "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." May your morning be quick in its coming.

Thank you all very much. Aaliyah may go for testing today with professionals who use dolls and the like to find out what and if anything really happened.

If it is deemed that it did, the law enforcement officers will be there too and will go to remove him from the home and take him to jail I hope. If it is deemed untrue, still somethings are going to have to change in the household.

monaid, what a lovely first post. I hope you'll stick around and let us get to know you!

Newleaf, I am sorry to hear what you and your grand daughter are experiencing right now. I am praying that it is a false alarm and no harm done.

Latest update is that the interviewing for both children should be this Tuesday. The "dad" has no idea and we hope to keep it that way until after the interviews.

I haven't experienced this level of stress since my husband passed away three years ago this month.

I love those children so much there's nothing I wouldn't do for them.

I'm back at work now taking things one step at a time.

NL, where are the children while you are at work? Daycare? And until Tuesday, is this person still around the child?

NL-I'm with you. May this situation, sad and difficult as it is, bring out only the best in each other. There are many things out of our hands, but nothing goes unnoticed by our heavenly father. I pray for you and yours.

Monaid- such a beautiful promise from The Scriptures! Thanks for sharing it! Great to have you here! Welcome!

Great questions, queenie.

I just prayed for tomorrow's interview. May the children be able to speak the truth without fear.

My prayers are with you and the precious little one and the rest of the family. Does Katie know about this? How is she handling it?

They've changed the interview date to Wednesday at 1pm. They're going to interview both children.

I wouldn't think of leaving them with the dad while I'm at work or ever again until I'm sure and the authorities are sure there wasn't anything going on.

Its been very difficult trying to lie and deceive the "dad" by coming up with reasons why he can't be with his kids. My daughter and I have been getting our heads together and coming up with excuses. The authorities advised us not to allert him as he could run off with his son and would have every right to. If probable cause is found at the interview, he won't be allowed to leave the state.

I haven't been able to keep anything in, food that is. I've been exhausted in every way and even lost my voice. The kids seem to be clinging to me. My daughter freaked out because she has had the kids on a regular basis.

She says she messed up for 12 yrs of her life, then has been away for a year from them, now as she puts it, they've been thrust upon her day in and day out for 3 days...oh shuckie darn...I have them all the time except for when I'm at work or their "dad" had them and I miss them when I'm not with them.

She says she feels smothered and trapped when she has them. Says, she's not set up for kids yet and isn't ready. I don't know what is going to happen, but I know as long as I can and am able and am allowed to, I will love them and provide stability and order for them.

While I'm at work either their mom or good friends of mine have them. They suspect something is up.

I'm praying for you. I'm so sorry this has happened. You've had so much stress lately. You must be holding your breath with this waiting.

NL- I pray for strenght for you, for it sems you are the one bearing all this on your shoulders. I pray they don't pospone it again, so it may be dealt with appropriately and hopefully end the stress on all involved!

Please know you are not alone. We are here for you and God is with you all the way too!

NL, I can't even imagine how you are doing this.

You are still living under the same roof with a man you suspect is harming your grandchildren? And he has no idea that you suspect him?

How sure are you? Have the children said anything to you, or is it their actions?
And the mother says she won't take her children because she feels smothered? Does your daughter truly suspects her X as well?

Lots of questions here. I don't know how you are handling this. Thank God you have friends and neighbors who can take the children.

Praying that your grandchildren have never been touched or harmed.

NL, take strength from the faith that you already have and hold dear....I know it must be shaking you to the core of your being, but be sure to employ ways and means of looking after yourself physicaly at this time, as that strenght is so important to your nerves..and if you are becomming unwell...you won't be able to sustain yourself and will find it increasingly more difficult to cope.
I will pray for you and yours at this time.

Take care and God Bless

Popea

Thanks, Popea, Hannelore, Songbird and Dianne. I've been having little tremor chest pains, sort of feels like someone's setting something heavy on the middle of my chest with numbness on my left side. I think its just stress.

I keep thinking, what if the authorities say I should have protected them from the dad? What if they claim I had prior knowledge of the dad? What if, what if?

Tomorrow is the big day. I don't think I can bear much more. They are so precious. If I hadn't reported what happened though, could I live with myself? I don't think I could. And, what if it did happen and continued to happen? It would ruin precious little Aaliyah's life.

NL- You did the right thing! Please, take care of yourself. Check with your doctor, don't take any chances with your health. It IS NOT NORMAL--the numbness. Please get to the Dr. and be kind to yourself. We continue to pray for you and yours!

I agree with song. These symptoms are not to be taken lightly. Get to a Doctor. Your grandkids need you healthy especially now, Newleaf. Praying for you still.

Everything depends on what happens tomorrow. I'll go to the doctor after we see what happens. I don't think I could bear it if they put the kids in foster care, especially here in FL!!

Thanks for all the prayers. I can feel them in my heart.

Keeping positive thoughts for you!!!!!!

NL-Please know that we are praying. Hope you are feeling better. If not, please don't postpone a checkup. Call your Dr.
May the heavenly Father soothe your soul.

Today went a little better than I imagined. Ladies, I just have to tell you that sometimes we ARE put to the test and it IS NOT easy. The only things that got me through were thinking about the prayers and looking at the two innocent little guys depending on my daughter and I.

I worked all night last night then got home about 3:45..got to sleep at 4 something. The house was empty except for me, "dad" wasn't home. That was very strange.

At 9:40 am I got a phone call from the sheriff's dept advising me that "dad" had been arrested last night on DUI and possession of someone else's prescription drugs!! He is in jail and I don't know if anyone will post bond.

The interviewer for the children said she thought Aaliyah had experienced this more than once. Katie and I cried. His things are going to the curb and I hope he stays in jail for a long, long time.

She said Dublin didn't show any indication of abuse at all.

I don't know what this is going to do to him though because he adores his dad. Just taking this one step at a time.

NL-How is your health?
All this is hard on the kids, and it's understandable that they will be affected, one way or the other; but it's better to keep them safe than to be sorry later. You are doing the best you can. We continue praying for this situation. Keep hanging on! You are not alone, friend.
May you enjoy God's small and large blessings bestowed on us every day!

Thank you Songbird. I finally got some sleep last night, about 6 hrs. Now I pick the kids up from school but am off today. As far as I know, dad is still in jail.

He still has no idea that Dublin and Aaliyah are to be kept from him. We are all afraid he will just go ballistic when he finds out. I know he will, the authorities also know.

Thank you all for the prayer covering.

Eagle Heart, my thoughts and prayers are with you also. Just because I'm going through this time still my thoughts turn to you and what you must be feeling right now.

God bless you and keep you. You are not alone. Keep thinking positively and trusting.

NewLeaf, please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Did you visit your Doctor yet? I hope your days are brighter.

Thanks to all. The dad is out of jail and calling his son all the time saying, "I miss you, son. I love you son". He won't even speak to his "daughter" whom he allegedly harmed. She doesn't understand as this is the only "daddy" she has ever known.

Meantime the dad's family back in Omaha is afraid he will commit suicide if his son is taken out of his custody.

My daughter, the mom, is feeling like slipping up and using again over this whole thing and her probation officer is saying he sees red flags all over the place and wants her to attend aa meetings.

I'm just trying to keep things as normal as possible for the kids, trying to hold on to my job, trying to hold onto my sanity and my health.

I'll keep everyone posted. Oh, and today someone stole my grandson's bike that he loved so much and I can't afford to replace it. Poor little guy!!

Hi New Leaf,
Hopefully, you went to the doctor. Please give Katie a hug from me. Remind her that she has to put herself first so she can take care of the little ones. That' is true for you, too!

That means letting Dad and Dad's family worry about him. Do you have caller ID? Can you not take calls from this man?

Sorry about the bike -- I know how that feels. It makes you feel so mad and hopeless that there's all this meanness in the world.

Hang in there -- still praying for you!
Casey

Thank you, Casey and all. I'm concerned about Katie. Tomorrow she is off work and is going to a concert with at least one of her old friends who is an alcoholic drug user. I'm going to be praying for her to be strong or better yet, not to go at all as I have to hire and pay a babysitter in order for her to get to go at all.

The judge and the probation officer mean business. There are no more grace periods left for her. Why won't she grow up!!! Lately I've been more angry with her and frustrated with her than I can tell you.

Her children need her to be their mom, not me. I'm grandmom even though they feel like my own and I love them as my own.

The Dad makes me sick. I can't stand him for what he did and is now trying to act the martyr. His son is furious with him and hurt, so hurt.

My husband wants everyone out of his life but me and him. I informed him that as long as needed, I would be there for Dublin and Aaliyah. They need stability and comfort and care, attention and love and humor and fun, just like any other child and they deserve to have it!

I'm angry.

I would be angry too. You've been in a bad zone for quite some time.

Your daughter: you can't force her to be responsible and you can't make her take the right path. My daughter was in sad shape and the hub paid for her rehab and it wasn't cheap. Today she knows that if she starts drinking again, she will end up in rehab with homeless people because I would never let him pay for it again. She's been sober for over a year now and really works to stay that way. But, it's been her choice and it has to be that way with your daughter. I stopped enabling her. I know when she's trying to get me to do something to prove my love and I won't go there with her.

You have to take care of yourself tho. I can't imagine my hub telling me he didn't want my grandkids in his life. My ex, the abuser, was like that and it sure wasn't a difficult choice to make. I would have chosen a stray dog over him.

Sometimes, you just have to let go and let God. It's out of your hands anyway.

I feel defeated but maybe that's the same thing as letting go and letting God. My grandson, gd and I prayed yesterday that whoever took his bike would feel so bad about it and would be so troubled that they would return it. The little guy believes in the power of prayer.

Its when we feel the most angry and the most defeated yet still reach up and out to God that He comes through in his own way and in his own time.

I'm going to the doctor on my next day off which is Friday just to get things checked out. There are things that I can do and some things I have no control over. I just have to sort through the mess and find those things I DO have control over and handlie THOSE.

NL.
We always bought second hand bikes for our boys. Have you checked Ebay?

NL, hang in there. We're all rooting for you and your family.
For the bike, check out freecycle.com. I don't know if there's one in your area, but it started here in AZ. Members post items they want to get rid of, or items they want. The request is that you post something to give away before you request something. You would be amazed at the items people are willing to give away. We have gotten rid of busted up concrete to someone who hauled it away to use as landscape rocks! Anyway, check it out, it's a great resource.

Thanks for the tips Yonuh and Hannelore. I'll go on the freecycle.com website. I want Dublin to learn the value of his and others possessions. I give him $5 a week allowance and also post a list of chores I'm willing to pay for over and above the ones he is expected to do just because he lives there...

One of them is for every yard sized bag of leaves and debris he sacks up full and carries to the curb he gets $1. I want him to earn his bike back and to go pick it out himself and pay for it.

He's so angry and hurt right now. He's been playing with his soldier dolls and throwing them at each other and tearing arms off and the like. I acknowledged to him that its ok to feel angry and its ok to cry. I told him I love him with all my heart and we and mom will go through this together and will find time to have fun and it will eventually be alright.

I'm so tired and every now and then my chest tightens and hurts. My eyes burn and my mouth feels so dry. I'm sure its just stress. I'm trying to practice breathing and reading jokes and things like that.

The Guenia pig family is a great source of comfort to us. They are so entertaining to watch and care for. Their antics are funny and cute. The kids and all the kids in the neighborhood love them. We've given all 8 of them names and are teaching them tricks and to respond to certain words. "mama" means food is on the way. They all line up like little soldiers waiting for food and water.

Also we play Crash Bandecoot and video games, plant flowers, work in the yard, go for walks and just wrestle and act silly. Gotta do something...right?

Diane, thanks for your words of wisdom.
NL- sad to know the bike is gone. Glad to know you're finally going to the Dr. Please know that when we give up and give God a chance to work, he works wonders; as there is nothing impossible for him. I praise His name, for he will not let you handle more than you can bear. I'm praying for you!

Thank you Songbird. I gave that same advice to my daughter today. I feel joy rising up from the inside and illuminating out when I think of the love and power and wisdom that is at work in our behalf.

Latest report. Its crazy in that nothing is apparently happening. Since the day of the interview we haven't heard anything.

For the kids, its just like "daddy" dropped off the face of the earth and left them behind. Katie and I have been having to scramble to arrange care for the children and the children are acting out and being little imps right now testing the waters and stretching the limits at every turn.

I wish I could have them exclusively and keep order in their lives and protect them from hurt and pain. Please continue to pray.

Newleaf, I am continuing to pray for you and your chilren and grandchilren.

I don't want to cover up your post so I am going to post my request here as well. I know you won't mind.

I need prayers for my daughter and gran-son. He is visiting his Dad in another province in Canada for Easter and was supposed to be back last week. We think he is trying to keep him and that is breach of the agreement, but he's making up lame excuses day after day as to why he is not bringing him back home.

My daughter is frantic and beside herself, I don't blame her. Please, if you read this post, lurker or member, take a minute to pray for my grand -son's safe return to his mother. We don't think he is any danger but, he needs to be home and in school, back where he belongs. My daughter is contacting the authorities as I type this.

Please take a moment to pray with me. I appreciate you all so much right now.
luv
Andria (chick)

You got it Andria. My heart goes out to the children!

Right now sending up a prayer for your grandson and daughter. You've got it Chick. In Jesus Name.

Of course Chick...

Chick you and Newleaf are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace be with you.

Laurel

In my prayers, Chick. I really wish parents with think of the children rather than their power struggles...

If you are talking about what I think you are.. then I am SO GRATEFUL that you filed with the police. I disclosed something quite similiar many many years ago to my grandfather. He was shocked and hurt as you are. I could see it in his face and I was just about 10 yrs old. In those days, there was really no name for it. And no discussions in newspapers and tv, etc. My mother didn´t have the courage to do anything about it. I had to go on living in my usual circumstance. To this day, my mother and I have not spoken about anything..she says it never happened. However, my father and I have talked thru everything. The scars will never heal totally..but i have found some understanding of everything so that i can forgive to some degree.. stand by your grandchild and be strong enough to listen and hear what she has to say.. not everyone is.

Good luck and thanks for writing...

Quote:

---

He that chooses his own path needs no map./Queen Kristina of Sweden.

Humlan, thank you so much!! Sometimes you have thoughts like, "Did I do the right thing? What if I had just chalked it up to the strange behaviour of a 4 yr. old?" My daughter wishes I'd never done anything about it even though she sat right there and heard the interviewer say she believed from the interview that something had indeed happened and more than once!! Who am I supposed to believe? I love her and would die if anyone was allowed to continue to violate her in any way. I felt violated when someone stole my grandson's bike, let alone someone possibly/probably practicing and teaching my 4 yr. old gd how to masturbate. I hate him for that!! She said it hurt and she wanted him to stop but he didn't. Then he had the audacity to give her tylenol for the pain. I sincerely hate him! So, yeah, I'm angry, so angry. Maybe someday I'll be able to forgive him but it will be a long time.

He calls and talks to his "son". Son, I'm getting a house and a pitbull puppy and a snake for you and I'm going to live on the beach and yadda, yadda, yadda. My grandaughter says, "I want to talk to daddy. Why won't daddy talk to me?" The grandson cries and says, "Grammy, I miss my daddy." My heart is torn into pieces all the time. I lash out in anger at the unfairness of it all and because of the helplessness I feel. I'm the only one who really cares about the kids. At least that's the way it feels sometimes and my husband says, "I won't be around those GD'd kids." I'm retired and 60 yrs. old and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend my retirement years taking care of some C***'s children who doesn't care enough about them to care for them herself." Meantime he goes out to the bar every night and drinks and drinks and comes over to my house telling me he "might" move in with me and help with the expenses but my house will be run HIS way and he says what will be and who will be and who will not.

Today I told him we wouldn't have any money for food until Thursday and he yelled at me to get it out of my daughter and then brought over frost bitten meat that I know he had had for months, some canned goods, some freezer burned french fries and MY coffee. He basically cleaned out his own refrigerator. I was thankful for it, but he's supposed to be MY HUSBAND. Please forgive my angry outburst, but thank you for letting me vent.

Newleaf, isn't it great to vent. You have a lot of changes to make in the future don't you? Hang in there.

I wanted to let everyone know that my grand-son is finally home safe and sound. Thank God! and Thank you all for your prayers.

So glad for you Chick!

NL, you did the right thing, even if it was a suspicion. I'd believe a 4 year old over a man concerning something like this. I certainly would, until I could prove otherwise. Protecting those children is the most important goal, IMO. Good luck.

I'm with Casey, chick, glad for you.