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#111324 - 03/17/07 06:40 PM Re: Fathers [Re: orchid]
Anno Offline
Member

Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 4434
Loc: Minneapolis Minnesota
"A patient, very hardworking man who has sacrificed enormously for his family."

Orchid, and everyone else, I have a curious thought (or perhaps it is a question, about this quote.

I find so many first and second generation parents, fathers in particular, do sacrifice so much for the family. I am wondering if this is cultural, an immigrant issue, or if it is generational?

My grandparents really gave up a lot for their families, my father did, too, but probably not to the extent his own parents did. He was able to live more of his own dream. His children, 3 of us, were really able to live our dreams, and in fact, tend to be quite selfish (I am not critisizing, just stating a fact).

So, what are your thoughts about fathers in this regard?
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#111325 - 03/17/07 08:04 PM Re: Fathers [Re: Anno]
celtic_flame Offline


Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 2930
Loc: Belfast/Northern Ireland
my g graddad was first generasion who emmigratedgranddad went back to italie then back to scotland and ended up in scotland with the rest of the familie. My dad second gess i am thried...It seems that way you described generallie for my lot that 1st heer did sacrifice so much but also had to.

mine became self-employed becouse couldn't find work...as no one would employthem and also lack of language. Think language would have played part in why they didn't get employed but pre-war and war..and uk-italie being diffrent sides didn't help matters. Mine got treated roughly in war and afterwards in this countrie becouse of the above. Their children did speek language and maybee as a reaction to emigrastion stigma went on in bussiness or into higher educasion...few of them (2) ended up with OBE's from queen for the churches they desined for building.

Now her is this generasion and it totalie diffrent.
looking at other families who are immigrants they all seem to be working their backsides off in a way or doing jobs that manie heer wouldn't do. Thats about the only way i can think that would help the comparision between generasional thing and emmigrasion thing.

oh my grandad would of had a verie diffrent occupasion but he had to have his bussiness to feed familie he certinly didnt get near his dream and i think it helped destroy him and eventulie kill him. He was a verie creative sensitive man and had book published and playes done on the BBC radio....he so much hated the shops and cafe's

my dad always has a saying that 1st (generation) will creat bussiness 2nd will run it ok 3rd will destroy it becouse they hadn't had to work to get it in first place. don't know if it true but he swore by it
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#111326 - 03/17/07 08:47 PM Re: Fathers [Re: Anno]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Quote:

Orchid, and everyone else, I have a curious thought (or perhaps it is a question, about this quote.

I find so many first and second generation parents, fathers in particular, do sacrifice so much for the family. I am wondering if this is cultural, an immigrant issue, or if it is generational?

My grandparents really gave up a lot for their families, my father did, too, but probably not to the extent his own parents did. He was able to live more of his own dream. His children, 3 of us, were really able to live our dreams, and in fact, tend to be quite selfish (I am not critisizing, just stating a fact).

So, what are your thoughts about fathers in this regard?




Think it maybe a strong influence socio-economic background of the immigrant father prior to immigration and the political climate of original country before immigration.

I've personally have seen this repeatedly so many times,particularily if the father came from a lower income background in China, etc. / has left a country where there was dictatorship/war/civil unrest, then North America is truly an opportunity to start anew.

2nd generation fathers, sons of immigrant fathers witness how difficult the adjustment for their parents is in North America and enormous price of assimilation. That their father, particular immigrant fathers from 3rd world countries, may not get jobs what they had before because their certificates, degrees are not recognized or their father had limited education ...so it's janitorial work , you know..

So 2nd generation children of immigrant parents are just more attuned to not taking their freedoms for granted, of not becoming too complacent for the whole of their lives. (Aren't we allowed to be stupid, complacent and decadent..when we're teens, etc.? )

I have seen sons of immigrant fathers, who live a screwy life,...then later they turn their life around.

Fathers if they are consistent in just trying hard, not necessarily perfect, they may be slightly misogynistic, whatever, but they can still be... positive influences for....daughters.
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