Dearest Hannelore,
One time when Daddy was first in the throws of dementia, Mother, my sister Brenda, and I ... along with Daddy, took a 12 hour trip (driving) to Williamsburg, VA. He read every billboard between Alabama and Virginia. I can promise you that. Every sign, every post, everything. We got there on a Wednesday night and had dinner at a great place right in the middle of Williamsburg. Oh how lovely and ancient and authentic it was! We loved it. Even the waitresses wore period clothing and spoke the "language" of the 1800's. It was great.

We got back to the room and Daddy want a six-pack of beer. Why? We couldn't figure it out, but he did and insisted to the point that he got biligerent. We were unfamiliar with dementia, so we got the beer. He never drank it. He went to bed once he saw we bought it.

The next morning he said, "Well, I'm ready to go home." We said, "WHAT?!!!! We just got here!" He got angry, very...and was almost violent which was TOTALLY out of character for him. So we had no choice once we figured out what was going on with him (dementia) and we loaded up the car and started the 12 hour drive home.

Was it worth it? YEP. We laugh about it now. It was SO worth it. And let me tell you, if I could have one more trip with him, dementia and all, I'd gladly take it.

Enjoy your time. Be glad you have it. Be glad you have HER.

2 recent stories about taking an elderly on vacation out of town...but they are not my own direct experience (yet):

My sister and her hubby accompanied an elderly 85 yr. Canadian woman back to her former home country, Sri Lanka. They accompanied her around and also through her, got hooked up to her friends where they experienced stuff a normal tourist wouldn't get. For her, it was visiting Sri Lanka for the last time. She knew this.

Then the following year in Dec. that huge tsumani hit Sri Lanka, Thailand, etc. made world news, flattened part of her home town. Elderly woman had returned to Canada with my sister ..she died a few months after the tsunami disaster.

So it was a special trip in many ways-- and things, many people gone forever.


Right now, my partner must deal with telling his 92 yr. mother that she is unable to fly 4,000 kms. to see her grandson's wedding this summer. She is wheelchair bound, has major heart problems, and is quite frail in nursing home permanently. The doctor has already told my partner she is not to fly in planes.

My parnter doesn't know how to tell his mother. I know he will delay this until maybe a few wks. before wedding.

What would you do/say?

Is there a way it can be live-streamed to a computer so she can watch? Or is there someone who would committ to posting lots of photos immediately after the wedding?

Hi, Hannelore: I don't have any to add but only to wish you a good holiday in Mallorca.

Thank you all for your well wishes and support.

JJ, when I read your post, an alarm bell went off in my head. My Mom reads everything she sees, and out loud too; -- from advertisements on the matchstick box to every billboard we drive by. She's even asked me to slow down so she can finish the sentences.

I am sooo glad we are doing this. It might very well be the last trip that she can fully enjoy.
And I'm glad I posted this. You have all wiped any doubts I had away. I know it won't be easy, especially because my Hubby often fails to see the humor in some of the daily problems with her. But I don't care. That's his problem. I'm going to make the best of it, and enjoy the intense time with her and her non-stop talking friend. After all, I love my Mom like crazy.

It is a great idea to put the wedding on the computer or at least the pictures.

Hannelore,

I'm home from the trip with my parents...there were a few tense moments...mostly over directions...but I am extremely glad that I made the trip...and I hope to make many more with them.

I hope it goes well

My mother used to come visit us (we are near Rome) for short breaks and to see her grandson.
She was a very lively 80+ and considered it her holiday, and insisted on going out somewhere every day! I used to be exhausted by the time she left as she also enjoyed visiting World War II Cemeteries (we have 7 in the area).

Sadly, she died a few years ago, and all I can say is enjoy the time you can with your folks, however much they may sometimes be wearying.

Oh I also went to DisneyWorld and Miami Beach with her when I was 24 (and just split with a boyfriend) and she was 63, and that went ok, although she hooked up with an oder couple at Disneyworld...