I had my youngest when I was 37. It's a challenge, but at least I'd had 3 children prior to him and knew what I was getting into. I suspect this woman in the article totaly has no idea of what she's going to experience.

Celtic, I don't quite know what to think re my daughter, the kids mom. She is in school to become a personal trainer and has a job. She seems to want to have the children, or at least the little girl. She just acts like her son annoys her. She loves him but he is 7 and knows she prefers the little girl. He reminds her of his father and the two of them aren't a couple anymore.
He told me the other day, "Grammy, you're our mommy." I said, "No, Dublin, you have a mommy and she loves you very much." He just looked right at me and said, "Where is she?"

He has been deeply disappointed by his mommy. He had such high expectations for her. I don't know what to do.

This morning he said, "Grammy, is it ok to love Grammy's like a mommy?" I said it was fine because I'm a queen mommy. I'm the mommy's mommy.

I don't know what to do. I love the children with all my heart. I can't stand to see them hurt or disillusioned or rejected or disappointed.

Also, my husband who said he wasn't going to live with anybody's f*&^%n children and support and raise them, who moved out on his own into an expensive huge home and left my grandaughter and I to live in a tiny 1 br apartment, who hired a hooker for two months and talked about throwing me overboard when I went on a cruise with him, wants NOW to claim my grandaughter on his income taxes because he can't afford to pay his rent.
He hasn't contributed a dime to her support and has fought me all the way. Now he plans to claim her as a tax writeoff. What a loser!!!

PS...not enough Prozac in the world to change someone who is completely self absorbed.

newleaf

your husband or ex husabnd sounds like a real charmer, id be worried about what effect hes having on the kids whenever hes around and the effect hes having on you wat your describing must be taking an emotional toll....if its stressing you then the kids pick up on that too...i know how perceptive my one is ...

My hart goes out to Dublin its sad for any child to know they aint in favour or just irritating the mum with no real understanding of why they do so. I don't know how old your dougter is but it takes a while to mature enough to think outside the box and long term consiquinces that we may be having on our kids....for some it takes longer than others if they ever really get to that stage anyway....

The kids must be all over the place with mum just being back in their life and i bet your doubter will be having a tough time adjusting to being a parent again the kids change so fast and she aint been their to adjust daily to how they change and what their current needs are.

Wonder if her behaviour is affected by guilt we show it and it effects our behaviour in a whole host of ways some of them not savoury or for the better.

well you have your hands full supporting the kids and supporting your douter into being a parent again. Hope you all learn how to interface well. Good luck

celtic_flame

I'm floundering around trying to know when to back off and when to step in. I don't want to take Katie's power away as a mom to her children. She loves them but she did a lot of drugs at an early age and on up..she is now 24.

I hope she didn't damage her ability to mature, think and rationalize. I don't want to be a controller but at the same time, I don't want to just throw in the towel and let the kids fall with it.
How do you protect the delicate, innocent and sensitive heart of a child?

I'm desparately wanting to write Katie a letter, wanting so much to explain to her what she's throwing away. Wouldn't it be great if we, as mom's and grandmom's, could collectively stear them in the right direction when they loose their ways, co-(g)parenting? I hate to use one of her terms, but it taking "a village" and all.

I, for one, stand behind you on all and anything you do. You sound as if you have it all together in your thinking. And, what may blow up now, will probably benefit all, later. Have to think long term.

You know, I don't even know Katie's new address. Its such a strange feeling, but I don't think I have ever really known my own daughter.

I've always wanted to be the kind of mom my girls could come to with anything. Now that they are all getting older, they seem to be happy about finding things within themselves that are like me. But I know I've let them down in so many ways.
One thing I have never done is deny my humanity to them and have them think I'm someone to aspire to. They are fully aware of my shortcomings but one thing they all know, I love each of them with all that is within me to give. They are precious to me, each of them from the oldest to the youngest.
I don't care what mistakes they have made. I don't even see their mistakes when I look at them. All I see is perfection and beauty. How can we love people this way? And their children are just as special to me with the added facet of another family's input.
I'm fascinated by my children and their children. How blessed I am to have had the experiences with each of them that I've had, Katie included.
My love for them is unconditional and unending.