I have a couple people in my life right now who have cancer and are going through treatments. Both are men in my parent's generation. Also would like to include Lynn's husband with these thoughts.

I'd love to ask cancer survivors and others who have lived through major health issues what was the nicest thing people did for you while you were in the midst of treatments. I want to do something to help and would like it to be meaningful.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Gee, I'm glad you posted that Dotsie, it reminded me of some of the things I am still thankful for. I had that terrible wreck a couple of years later so the two get confused in my head, but both though originally curses with prayer brought blessings into my life.

My Mom came to help out with the kids.
The kids became real misers and watched every penny.
The dog who had just been spayed lay beside me after the cancer surgery and I'm pretty sure she knew my pain.
A doctor friend came to hug me and secretly put $3,000 in my account.
A lady brought frozen casseroles so I could feed all the people who visited.
A lady from my church brought my kids some out grown clothes.
A neighbor fixed an old car for me to drive while I looked for a new one.
My preacher and a lot of others listened and prayed with me.
A friend drug me out of the house and forced me to exercise.
Another friend drug me out of the house and forced me to get another car then went with me the first time I drove it.
A friend took me to see "Stir Crazy" and made me laugh for the first time.
The day I saw my slashed up face, a guy friend held my hand and told me I was beautiful.
He took me in a wheel chair to get the blood washed out of my hair.
The day I found out the young guy in the other car died, a friend traveled a hundred miles and just held me.
My Mom made a huge meal and invited friends who crawled up in bed with me to celebrate my coming home.

Gosh I could go on and on.

Lots of cards and flowers, but the time was the most meaningful.

The pain of that is hard, but it's a joy to focus on the blessings.
smile

My brother flew out after work on a Friday afternoon and stayed until late Sunday night. He lives in New York and I'm in California.

An aunt whom I had not spoken to in years, called me up to say how much she loved me.

I didn't have a computer, so friends volunteered to get me information from the internet, including some major research.

People in my life, some of whom I barely knew, told me they'd pray/meditate for me. They, and others, were constantly telling me that I'd be OK, and I believed them. I also got many offers for "whatever I need" even though I didn't take up many of these offers.

My husband, despite major shortcomings both before and after my illness, was there 100% for me that year, including going with me to doctor's appointments, asking about treatment ramifications and taking notes. He also went to the library to do research.

My sister sent hats. My mother sent a troll doll with purple hair and an entire purple wardrobe to match my wig (yes, it was PURPLE!)

The most important thing is, people told me they loved me, they'd be there for me and believed I'd get better.

SMILINIZE & MEREDITHEAD, I was so touched while reading both of your posts. Smile, yours especially was so touching. I guess we find out who our friends are and how much we are loved and cherished when disaster strikes. You ladies sound as if you are to be admired in life for all those that rallied around you. People love you and in this day and age thats saying a lot. I hope you are well now and offer my prayers that it be so. You should both be so proud!!

Smile and Meredith,

You are both brave ladies.

I admire you.

I gather my strenght from you ladies.

Dotise- I iwll ask John this question. Since he is going through treatment now he may have some insight.

My suggestion may sound selfish but is not meant to be. it is meant to help you with your friends. Give lots of love to the caregiver or the person closest to the cancer patient. I know first hand we are the ones who get all the "bad news" because we need to keep the fighter fighting and in good spirits. I agree with this but it can be very lonely.

I thank you ladies for lsitening to me at times when I had no where else to turn. I could not go to my husband with my sadness and fear and I could not go to anyone in the community for different reasons. And we do get fearful and very sad also. But must keep up everyone's spirits.

Will let you know what John says and I am sure whatever you do will be great-you are very caring.

Lynn

Lynn,
Wonderful suggestions for the caregivers. I always felt my mother needed as much attention as my father when he was going through the treatments. He was getting attention from everyone else at the time.
Will keep everyone in my prayers.
I too admire all of you who have been or are going through this.
Maggie

Dotsie,

I asked John your question and he said he would think about it. Then he came back and asked what the question was again. Good sign-this means he is really giving it some thought.

His only real response was "positive thinking".

I know that could come in losts of different ways but it seemed to be the most important to John. And maybe to them all. It is also the most difficult to do continually. Particularly if you are scared also.

Maybe that will take shape for you.

Lynn

Lynn, that sounds like a wonderful suggestion. Since I tend to be a Pollyanna anyway, I love it!

Included in those positive thoughts are prayers. Several years ago I sponsored a panel about the power of prayer in medicine. I included several different professions. There was a minister, surgeon, social worker, internist, pediatric psychologist and a couple others.

The stories were amazing. To hear a surgeon profess that there was no medical reason for him to see some of the positive results he witnessed is encouraging. When a physician who has been practicing for 30 plus years can stand before you and share that he's witnessed miracles, you have to believe!

These are the kind of people we need to surround ourselves with when we are faced with adversity. People who give us hope!

Thanks for asking John, and I'm happy to hear he gave it thought!

I am happy to hear of a medial professional who professes miracles.

I pray and wish and bargain for a miracle about every day (and then some). I now feel like it is possible with all of your prayers - how could we miss?

Lynn