Ladies, I would like you to understand that I am a 62 year old man. I hope you won't think that I am horning in on your turf, but I can't find anything like this forum for men. I sent an e-mail earlier to let BWS.com know that I wasn't a lady. I hope no one will be upset, I have been very hesitant to write on the forum, but I have a story that I have to tell to someone and I'm running out of options. So please forgive the intrusion.

It all began in 2000. I met my Darling Valerie on the internet. We corresponded for several months before we met. We finally met in August. I met her at her cafe and we really hit it off at first glance. We baked cookies until about 5:30 p.m, then went to her apartment and had dinner. While we were there my ex's husband called and told me that he and my ex, she was a bi-polar, drug adicted alcholic, were having a custody battle over custody of my stepson and asked if I could be in Portland by 7:30 a.m. the nest day to appear on his behalf. (Note: When my ex took off she left my stepson with me. I had him for a year and a half before the courts took him away, you see I had no rights I had only raised him, but I was the ex stepfather. I told him I would, and when I told Val she said that if she could finish her cookie order she would go with me and give me support. So we returned to the cafe and made cookies until 3 a.m., Then drove over 400 miles to be there for the court appearance. That was our first date. Val's mind was made up when we met. From day one she gave me her unconditional love and support. We were inseparable and together 24/7. Then on December 2nd I was injured at work and completely incapacitated. When I called Val and told her she told me to have my son, who was visiting friends in Seattle to bring me "home" to her apartment. She put me to bed and I couldn't have dreamed of a better, more conscienteous nurse. She set up my doctor's appointments, took me to therapy, and took care of my every need. I had the comfort of knowing that I was loved, needed, and wanted by the most caring, loving, giving person I had ever met. I lived in doctors' offices for 3 years after that. She went with me to every appointment, about 3-4 per week, and did the talking as one of my problems was a part time memory. She did everything with a smile and never once complained, always wanting to know what else she could do for me. She tried to protect me from the world. No worries, stress, or anxiety.
Like I said we were together 24/7 and never ran out of things to talk about or we could sit for hours and say nothing just knowing that we were together, never "needed a break" from one another, never had an arguement, and never tired of one another. I married the light of my life on December 3, 2001. It was truly the happiest day of my life. I finally had a "Partner" in life that was the greatest wife, lover, best friend, and constant companion in the world. We were going to spend the rest of our lives happily growing old together. How we dreamed and looked forward to that. I really can't visualize two more compatable people who enjoyed one another so much during our much, much too brief marriage. My dream ended on May 28, 2005. I am totally devastated by my loss. My heart is broken and the pain is unbearable.

You see, My Darling Valerie went to be with the Lord on that day. Less than a month before her 48th birthday. I know her pain and suffering is over. And I'll see her again when my time comes. But mine has just begun. She was truly my BLESSING ON EARTH and is now My Angel In Heaven.

Again, please forgive the intrusion.

Thanks for listening.

Sitka, I am sorry for your loss.

You were given 5 beautiful years. And you and Valerie will meet again, whether in the afterlife or in another life.

Sitka, I'm sorry too for your loss. Thank you for being up front about your gender. I can't imagine the pain you are in having to experience this. Love and Light, Lynn

Sitka,
If there is one thing we boomer women understand, it is the need to lay our troubles at the feet of our sisters and ask for prayers, hugs, compassion, and kindness.

I appreciate your honesty with us so much. That alone tells me how great your own need was/is to share this story, and I DO understand totally that you needed for someone to hear it, to be a part of it, and to know what was in your heart.

It was a wonderful testament to unconditional love, and maybe you were lead here by divine intervention to remind us all just how precious, beautiful and most importantly, how short life can be...yes?

My thoughts are with you today...and I pray that God, along with the spirit of your sweet wife, will surround you and bring some kind of peace and comfort, which I know you need. I am so sorry for your loss.

JJ

Sitka,
Your story is a sad but beautiful one. I only wish you could have met earlier, so you could have had more time together before her death. I am sure she will always live on in your heart and you will be blessed with the memories of her. You should write them down now, in case your memory problem becomes worse.
I wish you peace and happiness in the future.
Dixie

Sitka, your honesty with we women about your gender is so refreshing and I commend you for it. I am so sorry for your loss but I learned something from a dear friend who lost her husband. When she spoke at his wake she said her husband would say:

DON'T CRY BECAUSE ITS OVER, SMILE BECAUSE IT HAPPENED...

Live well and be happy as Valerie would have wanted you to do. I hope you find a site for men that is welcoming and understanding...