I cared for my mother, who was in her 80's when she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. This was a kind of healing experience for me, since she had been quite abusive and unloving toward me all the time I was growing up, even well into my college days. My sister, two years younger, and who never received the extent of the abuse, was very antagonistic about my decision to care for her, not wanting to help. She finally came around, though, and we both treated Mom lovingly. I took much time off work, and when I couldn't be home, my sister, who doesn't work, came to help. Mom never acknowledged how she had treated me, and discussing it with her was out of the question, even before the illness. She was a very angry person, never showing love toward me, but I'm still glad I was able to care for her, and give her comfort during her last days.
Patty

You know, I think it’s all about knowing what the right thing to do is. It was right for you to be there for your mother to the end. So now you have piece of mind, and can go on with your life without feeling guilty. I’m sure that is worth it. And I guess that is what love is all about.

Two wrongs never make a right ariadne54... Your mother was wrong her whole life where you were concerned, but you were right to be there for her in the end and that is a big KUDO to you. What you did was probably harder than any of us can know but when chips were down, you stepped up to the plate and did what good daughters do, BRAVO! to you...

Thanks, Chatty, and Edelweiss..
While she was still in the hospital after her diagnosis, and I was there attending to her, she asked me, "How did you get to be like this???" I just answered, "It's my nature, Mom." which is true. That was about as close as we came to ever acknowledging how she raised me. And there was no more discussion. I told her I loved her often, and gave her all my attention when she was here with me. She really enjoyed and appreciated that.
Love
Patty

Ariadne, your story really touched me. I'm glad you shared it here.