Have any of you lived in the same town as your parent when those chose to give up driving?

Dad is getting ready to sell his car and it's breaking my heart. I'm afraid it is going to make him feel more isloated and he's such a people person. I know it's the right choice, but it's another loss for him.

We had to take Daddy's keys away from him when the dementia escalated and he drove home from Wal-mart (10 miles) with HIS side of the door wide open and flopping in the wind.

My sister just happen to see him leavin the parking lot and followed him home. He never knew she was behind him.

He had two wrecks right before that, but the door was the final straw. It was awful because he had enough of his mental capacities left to know we (Mom and my sisters and I) were taking the keys away and he could no longer drive. We told him we were there, 24/7 to take him whenever he wanted to go.

He got madder than rip....at first. Then forgot he was suppose to be mad. Sometimes the dementia came in handy. God love him!

Mom was forced to stop driving when her leg became so dysfunctional that she couldn't rely on it to hit the brakes...it would be almost two years before we discovered that the leg problems were due to spinal/bone cancer. At the time, she was devastated to lose the freedom that the car represented. Fortunately she lived two floors above my brother's apartment, so he and we were able to take her anywhere she needed/wanted to go. But the combination of grief (losing Dad after 54 years of marriage), increasing disability due to the undiagnosed cancer and the loss of independence really demoralized her and she became a recluse in those last months of her life. I wish we had been more attentive to the despondency but she hid it well whenever we were around.

My Mom was like your Dad, Dotsie, very much a people-person, and she really did suffer from the multiple losses of Dad, physical ability and then her driving too.

Anne, the only transportation he could take would be a cab and I'm sure he would if needed. I don't really see that happening because all of us are around and able to get him out and about. YOur dad must have been young if you were only a teenager. I know a guy who hit and killed a kid on a bike in his own neighborhood. How he ever got behind the wheel of a car again, I can't imagine, but he did immediately.

Georgia, I didn't know that about your dad. I don't know why but I thought that by that time he was in a care center. At what point did he go to a care center? Just curious so I know what might be ahead of us with our loved one.

Eagle, by the grace of God, all of us are around too. But your mom's losses sound similar to Dad's. Mom is now gone 7 years, he's lost many siblings, in-laws and dear friends, he is slowing down, and now the car issue is another loss.

What can we boomers do to prepare for these losses?

Dotsie, it as almost a year...a very hard year, too!

My dad still drives and from what I have seen, it's okay. God protect the person that has to take his keys away.

Mom quit a while ago, she never enjoyed it anyway (she is turning 80 soon!).

Dennis had to quit driving last August. He ran into a pole because he couldn't move his foot from the accelerator to the brake. It was soooo hard for him to give up this independence, but we have a great metro mobility program here for the disabled.

The car is definitly a symbol for freedom and youth. I think, by giving up the keys, a person is also giving up on staying young. And that is so sad.

My stepmother still drives...and is turning 79 soon. Dad has not driven since he was in his 40's due to Macular Degeneration.

I've drilled Dad a few times on this subject. "Dad, you WOULD know when Isabel no longer should drive, right?" He insists that she is "still ok"...does not drive at night anymore.

But it scares me still.

Di, macular degeneration at such a young age. Do you visit the eye doctor regularly?

Anno,
"The car is definitly a symbol for freedom and youth. I think, by giving up the keys, a person is also giving up on staying young. And that is so sad."

I've never put my finger on the youth part, but that's so true.

jawjaw, I think that year is fast upon us with a nother loved one. I'll be leaning on you for advice.

Gotta go take Dad to the food store! HA!

My Dad (fortunately) still lives at home and drives, but due to his worsening macular degeneration, he has stopped all night driving. This is a particularly frightening disease, because he's so visual. He loves to read and do anything hands on. We've introduced him to audio books but I must admit it's just not the same as a book in one's hands. We will all face something someday that begins to take away independence. And being boomers, we'll be in huge company.