My son is opening up a large doctor's office in Manhattan to specifically care for Boomer Women like ourselves. He wanted to know what a "5 star" or ideal experience would be like for us in terms of service.

Any ideas?

1. A 15-minute wait at most.
2. A doctor who listens and responds.
3. Be responsive to requests for specific tests. Don't make me beg! I'll get it anyway.
5. It's NOT all in our heads.
6. Treat us as individuals.
7. Never practice Supervised Neglect. I just fired my GYN for not treating a cyst on my breast and made a complaint to my insurance company about him.

How great is he that he wants to know! I'll probably think of more things at midnight.

1) Look me in the eyes when you talk to me AND DO NOT talk DOWN to me. I'm not stupid about my body.

2) Talk in layman's terms so that when you've delivered your 22-letter word for what I have, I'll understand. But NEVER think I am stupid about my body.

3) Don't dimiss my concerns about whatever I come to you about and tell me I REALLY don't want to go there.

4) Don't walk out the door talking to me. I can't hear you and I haven't mastered the art of reading behinds.

5) If I question you about something, it is because I really do want an answer. I'm NOT trying to play doctor or insult you. ITS MY BODY. Please do not act offended.

6) Please send your help to charm school. We are hurting sometimes and need sympathy, not abrasiveness.

7) Put fish tanks in your office. For me. I like um. They calm me.

8) Don't call me "sugar, honey, or doll." Those were used specifically by my Grandfather and my Daddy. No one else is allowed. Call me by my first name. That's cool.

9) Please tell your receptionist to acknowledge that I'm standing at the counter. She can asked me to wait just a sec, or even tell me to sit and she'll be right with me, but please don't ignore me. I'm hurting, remember?

10) Have your diploma(s) visible. Get a Web site. Tell me about yourself on the first visit and let's get to know one another. After all, you're going where no man has gone in a long, long, long (did I say long?) time. I want to be comfortable and somewhat relaxed. Tell me about your Momma, wife, or five children.

Don't leave me sitting in a cold room with nothing on my body other than a flimsy paper gown for too long a period of time waiting for you to make your appearance. I understand that things happen, maybe the patient before me required more time than was scheduled for her, and that's fine........I want to feel that you took your time with me answering my questions too, when my turn comes, but at least have one of your staff poke her head in and tell me the doc will be there in a few minutes or give me some reassurance or something. All I do while I sit there cold and naked is fret and worry and get more anxious about whatever I'm there for in the first place.
And if you do use one of those 22-letter words mentioned above to describe my problem,and don't explain it, and I ask "what does that mean?" don't shoot me a look of disgust for not understanding. I'm asking because I want to know, and I didn't go to medical school......YOU did and that's why I should be able to ask you and get an understandable explanation. I want YOUR opinion before I go home and look it up on the internet!!!

Listen. Listen well. And then listen some more. Hear what I am saying completely and ask probing questions that help you get to the real problem.

Never dismiss my complaints. They are real.

I know you are busy, but so am I. If you are running behind, let me know. Offer to reschedule if necessary.

Your support staff is just as important to me as to you. Ask them to treat me with due respect.

I may, or may not, have looked up my symptoms and have an idea of what may be wrong. I may be off base, but if I have done research, accept that and listen to what I have learned. I know I am not a doctor but that does not make me an idiot.

Ask me what name I would like to be addressed by, don't just assume and use my first name. If you want to be called Dr., maybe I want to be called Mrs., Ms, or Dr, too.

And, once again, listen.

oh, comfortable gowns, not starchy, itchy gowns, would be nice, too.

My Dad was a doctor. He was an internist, but practiced general medicine. When he lay terminally ill in the hospital the post man came extra by to his room to bring a sack of mail every day. Yes, a sack!

I had had no idea that my father was so loved. Respected, yes…I always knew that, but literally loved by his patients like that. I was in awe.

Why did they love him so? He cared. He truly cared for each and every one of his patients. He would ponder and research and do everything in his power to diagnose correctly. He could have a gruff manner about him, but it was combined with charm up to even an innocent flirt with some of the older ladies. They loved that.

He also did house calls;…and that was when they were beginning to die out.( the house call tradition...not the patients....lol) He would get up in the middle of the night for each and every patient if necessary, and was happy to do so.

So my advice to your son is to try to keep that good old country doctor feeling, mixed with professionalism and respect for his patients. Also not to overload…it's so much more valuable to all if the patient doesn't feel rushed.

I too find it highly commendable that your son has asked such a question. He'll be a great doc!

In reading all this, I realize I've had good family physicians in past few decades with good communicative skills.

They have been both men and women.

I'm intrigued...why does he feel there's a need/market for Boomer women on medical care?

Would be interesting to hear from him, from the perspective of a doctor in seeing Boomer Men vs. Boomer Women as patients.

I wonder if men are good communicators about their own ailments?

1 An emergency number with people and not a machine to contact outside of surgery hours would also be very helpful

2 Insurance coverage is a mere technicality when a patient has got none or not enough of it. Treat the patient all the same.

My ideal visit to my doctor is when I get there there is a note on the door saying: Sorry, called away on an emergency!" Hate all doctors.