It seems there are more couples separating but not divorcing due to finances and benefits. Have you found this to be true.

I guess the big switch may come when someone finds their soul mate and wants to get married?

My SIL was separated from her hub for 13 years before filing for divorce. She felt it kept her safe from remarrying again but she found out she could be held responsible for some or all of his IRS debt, along with other debts and that's what made her finally break free.

I can understand it for the benefits though. That's a major thing.

I may be wrong, but it's possible that the financial benefits (health insurance, pension, etc.) can be continued after a divorce, if it is so stated in the divorce decree. Maybe it depends on the state.

I don't understand the benefit thing. I thought if you lived at a different address it is against the law to share your benefits. Even our children are dropped as soon as they reach 21, 23, 25 or whatever your policy states. And, if they are in college, you even have to show a transcript stating they are full time students with 12 credits or more. I guess each state and individual insurance companies are different.

If you are divorced you can still be on your husband's health insurance. It also works the other way around. I kept my ex on my health insurance for a number of years after the divorce. But, that is usually decided at the time of the divorce and either in there or not. Same with the pension. Sometimes a husband will let the wife have the house if she agrees not to go for his pension. Sometimes the wife will go for it and sometimes not. Often depends on the lawyer too. Sometimes the wife gets the house or half of it and everything else and part of his pension. Children are different. You can't keep them on your health insurance after a certain age unless they are in college.

Louisa

I think the laws differ from state to state.

I've heard about the whole issues of young adults. I guess we have that ahead of us.

Most of the time the benefit thing is left up to the couple in an amicable divorce or separation with all parties in agreement. I am divorced now since 2001 and am beneficiary on all his Life Insurance policys. It is the way he wanted it. I promised to bury him. If we lived together after the divorce I could have been on his health insurance too but had my own. I'm not sure there is any written laws from state to state...I've never heard of any.

Doesn't the insurance company or the one who is the main insurance holder, play a part in this? If the company was self-insured like Coke, they could make that decision, right? What if the ins. company says once divorced, no deal? Unless, maybe, the main insured agreed to continue to have the cost deducted from his or her paycheck. I was never on good enough terms with the about to be ex to get that nice gift.

You don't have to be on good terms with your about to be ex. Your lawyer would fight for him to pay your health insurance for you. If the judge goes for it, you got it and it is up to your ex to provide it. Assuming he already has health benefits and the wife is on it, he still has to pay for hers and keep her on it. The company cannot make the decision. They have nothing to do with your divorce. I was working at a hospital. My ex was on my health insurance plan. When we got the divorce, we made an agreement between us that I would keep him on. (He gave me the extra money to pay for it in our case) we had our own agreement. The judge actually questioned it and we had to re-write it so that it gave a time-frame or something. But, the hospital had no say in it. The insurance company can't do that either. If they could, all divorced women would be without health care insurance. Things are bad enough. And yes, he would have to continue to have it deducted from his paycheck.

As for life insurance - you can make whoever you want the beneficiary. If you spouse has a life insurance policy and you are the beneficiary, he can change that after the divorce if he wants. My ex had asked me to do it once, but I told him to do it himself. Which, by the way, he had to. We had a family policy, but he was the main insured. I was on as the spouse. The kids had been on it up to a specific age, which had passed.

He never changed it. He left me the beneficiary. I got my own insurance anyway, but remained on that policy. He could change the beneficiary but he couldn't take me off the policy without re-writing the whole thing. He died 5 years ago. when he got sick, he told me he left me on and asked me to take care of things, which I did.
Louisa

Your ex was much nicer than mine but then, mine was so bad, I wrote a book about him!