I believe the holidays are hardest for widows or widowers especially if the lost spouse was the one who made the holidays special. My second husband did and I can't help but feel melancholy thinking about his happy face during those days. It was like having three sons, not two. He was like a kid himself...and so enjoyed Christmas and all that went with it.

chatty, I often forget all that you've lived through. I'm so sorry. But how nice that you have the good memories to hold onto.

I also think we miss our moms and dads more this time of year. My mother was the one who made Christmas happen when I was a kid. I didn't appreciate her efforts as much until I had my own children to celebrate with.

Yes Dotsie, I have to agree on both sujects. I wonder if any of us really appreciated our parents when children and when they magically became our heros? I also wonder when we will become heros to our own kids, if we haven't yet...

I miss my Mom and Dad and brother Gary so much right now I can hardly stand it. I know that as much as I loved them, I didn't really appreciate what I had until they were gone. How do you tell others not to make the same mistake?! They hear the words, but while parents and siblings are alive, so many people simply cannot even begin to imagine the agony of absence.

One aspect of my upbringing with Grandparents was the wisdom I absorbed..In her ownn wise way when discussing her Mother my Grandmother told how she would visit the cemetary eavery day saying "putting my baby in the pram after I had completed my housework" she did this for a long time..then at age 42 had her late and last baby my uncle..she left me with the impression that painful as this time was she did come to acceptance..Because she was full of joy amidst her family..she was the centre of our clan.
when I pass the cemetary I think of my Granny being heartbroken and spending so much time there.That hurts me still
In time I also felt that deep sorrrow..and no amount of her preparing me aliviated the hurt..It is devestating to acccept we cannot share days with the people we love.

Try what I do, talk to them as if they're there with you. Sounds nutty but it works somehow.

Mountain, think about your mom's practice of visiting the cemetery every day. Can you imagine someone doing that in this day and age? It's admirable, and a bit of a shame that we don't take the time to do so. However, I believe I can talk to and visit Mom whenever and wherever I am. I look forward to seeing her in heaven and spending eternity together without any sickness, tension; only good times.