I have been laying low for awhile. Life has been good, promoted at work, can keep our house, barely. Snow has been manageable and Blazer getting me thru. Pretty great, huh? Then comes the end of March. A year ago dear Dave was diagnosed and fast tracked for chemo and radiation, all in vain we learn later, its far more advanced and there was no remission to be had. This "marker" has hit me harder than I thought it would. Please think of me and pray for my strength and peace of mind. I always feel ever so much better when pour my sad heart out here. Blessed best wishes to all. Cynthy and her Kiddin cat

Cynthy, I recall all the anniversaries the year after Mom's death and I must share that I think the anticipation of them were much worse than the actual day. Have you experienced that? I hope so. I recall intentionally keeping myself busy on those days.

I'm so sorry you are having these recollections at this time of the year. Please try to surround yourself with those you love. Be sure to share what you are going thorugh and I'll pray you will be surrounded with lots of warm fuzzies when you need them.

Cynthy,

There are no real words to offer...just know that we are here for you. I'm so glad that you got a promotion and all the other good stuff that is going on!

Focus on the good thing my friend, if you can. I know it will be hard. After Daddy died I was sure I would never smile again. My wishes for you are to have a beautiful day remembering all the wonderful things about your husband and the years you spent together, and knowing how proud he would be of you today! You've come a long way, to use an old phrase. I read a slight hint of hope in your post and it warms my heart for you. I'm sending you warm wishes for strength and courage in reply!

Cynthy,
I know how hard days like these are when you're grieving. The first year is the hardest, trying to get through those days-birthdays, anniversaries. Dotsie is right, anticipating them is worse. When you get past the day, you pat yourself on the back for making it through yet another hard time. Staying busy is about all you can do. Fill the days with purpose and activity. Concentrate on all the good that's happened-the promotion, keeping your home, learning to find the solutions on your own. Be proud of yourself for handling your life and moving forward. Know in your heart that Dave would be so proud of you too. And know that you can count on us here at the forum to be proud of you and encourage you and pray for you always.
Consider yourself hugged.

Thank you all so very much. My apologies copygal, for not following thru on my commitment to provide help in your wonderful new venture. I guess I wasn't certain how to respond. Then I just didn't feel up to articulating my feelings. Do you still need help?

I feel a bit better today but the days have certainly been grinding along with a pronounced undertone of grief and loneliness. Just as everything I've read and heard, grief can surface even more intense albeit less often, thank God. The weather is spring like and I can't help but wish that Dave and I were planning a camping getaway or a fishing trip that we loved. Guess I need to find new fishing companions. Off to wkr at 5PM-1Am, that will keep me focused elsewhere. Blessings and best wishes to all of you dear ones! You give my heart hope and boost me up! Love you all!

I'm adding my love and best wishes too. I'm not going to tell you that I know how you feel because I don't but I'm just so sorry for the pain you're going through.