currently, living with a woman I used to be romantically involved with and she is an active alcoholic and verbal abuser. Some of you have seen me around the forums as I try and create parts of my Dream, to become totally self-supporting so as not to EVER rely upon another person financially again. A year ago I had good credit that I worked very hard to get back, and now becasue I had to rely upon a couple of them to aet, for godsakes and live, that is shot and creditors call me daily.

I am deaf and have a myriad of mental disabilties (panic attacks, chronic depression and manic-depression) which, believe it or not, with medication and therapy, in spite of the conditions I am living in, I remain hopeful and Know what is Right and Real and that my feelings of Optimism are intact. I Love life.

I have been clean and sober 15 years on May 16 of this year I have survived the loss of a child domestic abuse, homeslessness, two homes burned down, cancer, loss of my hearing, alcoholism, mental illness,and the loss of my abiltiy to be gainfully employed.

I am doing my darndest to make this different for myself. I just found out that the SSDI that I applied for 3 years ago won't be decided upon (maybe) until August (!!), and I thought I would hear anyday now.

I will be applying for low cost housing in Seattle, washington soon and am trying to develop some sort of plan to leave where I am , but without an income, I am stuck here.

The JOY of my life is my art. It is my God-given talent and my passion and with the creation of this "suddenly coincidental" Inspiration to create GETTING REAL, my graphic "cartoon"....I intend to use it as a vehicle, my Voice to share and help other women like myself and to Empower other little girls as well.

My Dream is to publish a book and /or online presence with this series as well as other female role models into paper dolls with mini-story lines that tells about them overcoming Real obstacles and coming out stronger for it!

I am Very excited about this. I want to get this and my Getting Real images and stories Licensced/published but have few resources right now.

My "world" consist of being online at the moment...so I chronicle my progress (as much as I can Safely , on my blog (Daily Life of an Artist)- www.designergrl.wordpress.com

plus I will keep adding scenes and stories to my new Getting Real website:

http://www.freewebs.com/gettingreal/

As a Survivor of Domestic violence etc.. I don't watch shows about it, but I Love seeing when a woman perseveres ! I feel like I have just watched Rocky!!

Anyway, thank you for reading here if you've stayed this long. My heart and prayers goes out to all women in situations like mine and together we Will Survive !!

**** On my GETTING REAL site I have set up a PAYPAL "Angel Donation" button for anyone who can contribute to help me further the dream I have mentioned above, as well as help me to leave the situation I am in. I have had to close down any bank accounts I have had so this is the only place I have to keep any funds to save.

***One more thing, ladies....I did NOT tell all of you these details for any kind of sympathy. I am a very proud woman, and On my best days, I realize that *I* am my own Role model. My dreams are out there in the Universe manifesting them selves for my Highest Good...I believe that with all my heart. And I will do all all *I* can to do my part. But there comes a time when one has to ask for help. So...I am asking. And bless you.

Designergrl
Brandy Hatfield