Do any of you notice that the holidays seem to add stress to a usually happy marriage? I was lucky that my partners enjoyed shopping, the decorating, baking, company coming around and the turmoil that can be generated during the holidays. They were always glad to get back to our normal routine, as was I, but they were real troopers during it all.

I think after the nearly 40 years of marriage that we have the holidays down to a science! As for Thanksgiving, I think it the most work with the most variety of foods. In my Italian family it gets very, very expensive and very traditional. There are dishes everywhere and lots of "timing" to figure out when things should be done, etc. I prefer preparing for Christmas. I make a list of all the gifts to buy and just do it...since I LOVE SHOPPING! He is in charge of putting all the outside decorations up. Seems he always picks the coldest day of the season when he has to take his gloves off to fasten the ornaments!!! We put up a very small tree in the living room with the excuse that we would go back to the tall tree after we became grandparents (well this year is the year I guess!!). I put up a lot less these days and leave tons of stuff up in the attic. We take down the Nativity of course, and some beautiful artificial poinsettias and a few snowmen. We trade off holiday cooking with my brother and SIL, which makes it nice. One holiday is at our house, and one is at theirs. My Mom gets the treat of going everywhere. Our girls come, nieces and nephews and of course the new babies. Some just stop in for dessert since they have in-laws to visit as well. Somehow it works out and at the end of the day, after we fold up the chairs and finish all the dishes we always say, "I am exhausted, we are never doing this again". But of course, we always do and hopefully...always will! I love the holidays.

Here, too, whatever the family does together during the
holidays is pretty much agreed upon by both of us.
It's our favorite season, and more so with seven grandkids
to make it a ton of fun : )
Cindy

Oh gosh. I love the holidays too. And I am bleesed because Ross enjoys them just as much as I do. He especially likes to decorate. He's in charge of the outside, putting up the inside trees and getting the lights on. All of us add ornaments. We used to do it alli n one night, but the last couple years, we've taken a few days to add ornaments and I kinda like that. It makes it less stressful. While he does the lights on the tree, I put lots of the other decorations around the house, leaving the ornaments on the dining room table. It hasn't bothered me to leave them there until they are all on the tree. Then I put the tinsel on and we're all done.

I do the majority of shopping and wrapping, but he will help when it gets closer to Christmas and there are still a few gifts to buy. He's good at going on a mission to find exactly what I tell him. He doesn't like to shop around. He just like to get what he's looking for and make the purchase.

I bake, but he'll help if I want the company. Chatty, we work it out. He's a trooper too! We definitely do it together.

Last year was fun. We had 17 people here for Christmas dinner and my son who was 20 at the time, cooked the feast. He said that if we paid for it, he would cook, but he didn't want to do the traditional turkey. I let go of the reigns and he did an awesome job. God love 'em. It was my most relaxing Christmas dinner ever. It was a real gift!

Yep, for us it's the old, 'Together we stand, divided...neither one of us could make it through!'

We both love the Holidays. And really, all the hustle and bustle, and marathon-like preparations, all of it, I love it! Am I exhausted when the Holidays are over? Of course! But, oh the joy of it all!

I learned a few years ago how to pick my battles and let the small stuff go...which includes Holiday Stress. I love the holidays even more now. Then again, my grandbeauties could have something to do with that!

Any holiday decisions we have, my husband trust me completely. I buy the cards, deciding on a theme for the year, and he lets (hmmm maybe he does it just to get out of it?) me take care of the arrangements.

We split Christmas with my family and Greg's family. Last year we went to Pennsylvania and spent Christmas with Greg's family. So, this year, we'll probably stay home. Sometimes we go to the Keys.

My oldest and youngest live out of state, but my middle kid lives close enough by that she and her husband can spend part of the holidays with us. We know it's hard on them, because they have to spend time with his family too.

I've learned a long time ago that stress cannot be a part of our holidays. I would end up getting physically ill over it and then all of the holiday would go down hill from there. We don't do a lot of decorating and when it comes to dinner, I cut corners where I can to make sure I'm not stressed out about getting everything done on time.

I'll make pies earlier in the week. I'll cook only a turkey breast instead of the whole bird. Things like that. I don't cook a lot, because we don't want a lot of leftovers. Turkey and stuffing is basically it.

We pick three charities that we want to donate to and make sure we take care of that early enough in the year to make a good Christmas for the children (we chose The Ronald McDonald House, Red Cross, and Metropolitan Ministries (local charity that takes care of the homeless) last year)

We send fruit (we're here in Florida, gotta send citrus!) to our families and cash to the kids. Makes getting presents easy.

Maybe that makes us predictable and kinda humdrum, but it's how we survive the stress of the holidays.

I've been struggling with "holiday stress" ever since Mom died in 2001. I think a big part of the stress has come from trying to figure out how we want Christmas to be now. Before Mom died, it was mostly centered around my family and Mom's traditions. Now it's centered mostly hubby's family and HIS family's wants and dislikes (they didn't really celebrate Christmas before we met but now they insist on having everything their way!) It seems that every year more of my traditions and preferences get ignored and overridden.

Like Vicki, I realized that I couldn't afford to get so stressed out - it makes me vulnerable to breakdowns and I just can't afford any more of those. So like JJ, I've learned to pick my battles and just go with the flow unless I really need something to go my way, which isn't actually very often anymore.

So we're still in the process of creating a "blended tradition" Christmas, still creating as we go. My beloved turkey dinner is a thing of the past - we usually have seafood fondue now, which is actually much easier (hubby does most of the work) than turkey anyway! Then later in the year, when my brother and I can't wait any longer, we have a big turkey dinner just for the three of us (and anyone else that happens to be around who likes turkey).

It's been hard, but I think I've done well, considering how much of my own family tradition I've had to let go of over the years. I miss "my Christmases", but heck, it's just one day when all is said and done - and nothing can take away my heart's "reason for the season" part of it, can they!

I know this is probably a stupid question to some of you BUT Eagle what about turkey on Thanksgiving? Don't they have that holiday in Canada? Hey, if not just make one up.

Chatty, we've had our annual family reunion every Thanksgiving for almost 20 years. We always meet somewhere neutral, stay in a hotel and eat out at buffet restaurants the entire weekend. Everyone loves the reunion and doesn't want it changed. We tried to change it to a summer reunion this past summer, but it didn't work out (because of my brother's cancer diagnosis). We may try again next summer. If that "takes", then we'll get to try doing the turkey thing at Thanksgiving...and if we DO start doing the Thanksgiving dinner, it will be on MY terms - only two choices: turkey and pumpkin pie (nobody in hubby's family likes either) or peanut butter sandwiches. But I can already see the writing on the wall...