Ariadne54:

How are you doing lately, you've been in my thoughts and prayers. Hope all is well and a happy holiday for both you and your family.

Hi, Mustang,

That's so sweet of you to think of me and ask. I'm doing very well. If you are referring to my contact with the old flame, the situation seems to be taking care of itself. I still hear from him....about his many social engagements, parties, events, trips with the wife. At the same time, he has stated that he wants to continue our "emotional affair," via email, that he loves me as well as the wife, asking does that make him "some kind of ogre?" I'll admit that my nature is to be slow in processing such things, but I have begun to feel cynical about him. As a result, I've kept my responses lately, just brief and friendly, or just not responding. I'm not hurting or anxious about it, and, as I said, it seems to be taking care of itself.

I'm looking forward to the holidays, to seeing my twin grandsons (age 3) and visiting with friends and family. I hope you also have a wonderful holiday.

ARI

If you're involved in a situation that you know is holding you back from meeting someone who belongs in your life, do the courageous thing and break it off. You may not yet know "who belongs in your life," yet it will allow room for that right person to enter your life.

There is someone I'm interested in and he has expressed his interest, but, but, but! I may send you a private message later regarding the matter!

Sounds to me Ariadne54 like you are finally processing the fact that these are lose, lose situations and will leave you hurt and alone. You need to devote your efforts to a single gentleman when you are ready to become involved with someone. Leave these cheating self absorbed jerks to themselves. They aren't thinking of you only themselves....and certainly NOT their wives or children.

Hi, Mustang and Chatty,
I would love to hear from you, Mustang, and Chatty as well thru private message.
Yes, we continue to email each other. Today, I rec'd a Christmas card from his wife, with a lovely lovely message written by her, and signed in both their names. I've talked frankly to him about the fact that I respect his marriage and am happy for him that he has a loving and supportive partner. He appreciates my objectivity in this matter, and because of this, our communication is more of a friendly nature now. There is no way I could cross the line into an illicit affair with a married man, even this man, with whom I share so much background.
I'm not ready or willing to give up the contact with him, and neither is he.

Dianne had commented, quite perceptively, that maybe I am preferring this email relationship because it is "safe." I think maybe she is right. You know, I've been conned and stalked, and now view my last 8 years of singlehood with abhorrance in regards to the relationships.

Today, I rec'd an Ecard Christmas card from the Psych. Ph.D. I don't intend to reciprocate. He treated me very badly! One of the great things about my email communication with my high school "old flame" is that he always responds with kindness, balance, and intelligence. Is it friendship, or love? Or both? I think both, but at the same time, not something that is going to lead to hurt.

ARI