A couple weeks ago, we were out with our 22 year-old son for a multi-generational gathering at a restaurant/bar. Everyone was having a grand time when someone said something that got my attention.

A 20-something girl said, "That women (who was my age) is so flirting with your son."

So I quickly looked up to witness her chatting and laughing with him. He was laughing and talking with her just the same. She is happily married.

I did not see this as flirting. She was with sorta our crowd, she knew me, and was just carrying on with him.

Again, the 20-something girl said, "OMG, look at her. She's flirting with him."

Again, I didn't see it. Everyone was having fun together, all ages.

So, my question is, what's flirting?

I laugh and carry on, joke and compliment other men. I am happily maarried to the love of my life and both of us are comfortable around the other sex. That is how I viewed this gal.

So what's up with that? I certainly hope others don't think I'm flirting when I am just being myself with others.

I believe it's the intent in which you communicate. What do you think?

She obviously wasn't trying to pick hom up, but the younger generation thought so. It must the perspective from a younger generation who aren't quite yet so sure of themselves?

What do you think?

I think the 20-something girl has a crush on your son and was jealous that he was enjoying himself. Also, maybe she hasn't been exposed to inter-generational fun. Sometimes kids that age seem to think that the adults get to sit and be bored and frumpy and the kids are the only ones who can laugh and enjoy things.

Not sure how to define flirting. That's probably a very different thing to everyone. To some people, just making eye contact with a stranger of the opposite sex is flirting. I find that frustrating, because I feel in today's times that it's important to be polite and talk to people I don't know. It amazes me how we can see the same people in the store each week and still be strangers to each other.

I agree with Kathy.

If the woman had her arm around your son or was touching his hand maybe?

Sounds like she was jealous.

Are we supposed to talk only to our own age group?

I don't think there is a definition for flirting because some people communicate with others without feeling or with very little feeling or meaning while others reach out with all their senses and warmth of feeling to someone else. One is the transmitter and the other person the receiver. One can transmit with all they have but if the other person isn't receptive then flirtation or communication with feeling doesn't happen. Takes two to tango...

Women use signals and body language and even emit an odor when they are feeling the communication between themselves and a receptor. Its called connecting. Someone on a date says.."wow, we really connected."

There's a lot of flirting down here in da South! A simple fliration (w/out strings)lifts spirits!

Dotsie, I agree with the comments so far, I think the younger woman was jealous. Bless her heart, it's not easy being young and learning about these things.

And I think you are right, it all boils down to the intent in which you communicate.

Good gosh, I carry on with people all the time, young and old alike.

Keep enjoying yourself dear, that is her insecurity, not yours.

And MustangGal, you're right. Simple flirting (without strings or intent) does lift spirits and add fun sometimes. I do hope the young lady figures out one day that being nice and having fun with someone can be just that. Fun. With no other intent or purpose, other than enjoying the company of another human being.

Whirlwind

I wonde if the girl wanted you to react in order to have something to say to your son...maybe to have an assurance that he prefers her(the girl)whatever its something to be aware of.The fact it stays in your mind shows things were not congregant.
Being young is a burden (were we ever so young girls?)
Mountain ash

On the surface it looks as if some young people don't relate to adults in their own lives except in a more authoritarian role.

I'm like Dotsie, I don't read too much into other people's responses, until it becomes overt -- touching, prolonged looking, certain body movements.

Some people who love long intellectual discussions, could even see this alone as a form of flirting...with the minds.

As a woman, I'm pretty straight....I don't naturally engage in fun, non-sexual flirting....it's just not my personality. I've had men at work at different workplaces try to engage me in non-sexaul flirting...and I just look at them and look away because I don't know what to do and never expected it...there is still abit of geeky, high school teenager in me.

If I sound like a 16 yrs. old...too bad. I reserve my flirting for my bearded honeybun at home.

REally I'm dull..but it doesn't mean I need to look dull. It is possible even for the woman who does wear a strapless black dress not to flirt and wear that also.

Would I appreciate if another woman flirted non-sexually with my partner? I would lose respect for that woman abit. What would be the point? All the women I've known in a close way and who have remained married, have great husbands. They would be men that many forum members here would want as husbands. But not interested in flirting with them.

I was raised in a family where to see my parents even remotely touch hands .....was a big event. We, their children, never saw them kiss.

I blend in very well in strict religious groups where men and women are more formal with one another...I'm not kiddin'.

I define flirting as deep long looks into another person's eyes. touching, too much giggling, or overreacting.

Flirting is a life style during Fasching in Germany. Nobody sits next to his or her spouse, people dance with everyone, other than his or her own spouse…and a visit to the bar is usually with someone else's husband. But it goes only as far as you allow it. So far it has always been harmless in the circles I've been in. Of course it could always lead to something more, ... but it takes two to Tango, and my husband and I never wanted to "Tango" with anyone else.

Well, just great. I guess next ya'll gonna tell me that roping um at the bar and putting a brand on um is considered flirting...now aren't cha? It was harmless fun, k? Nobody got hurt. Kinda of...