Tuesday night I went to my son's preschool Christams program. While there the Director announced that the school was experienceing the flu in epidemic proportions. PA is the only eastern state with the epidemic. My son had a flu vaccine one week ago and it is not effective yet. My pediatrician recommended keeping him home this week and maybe next depedning on what my husband's oncologist thought. So I have been home trying to work, trying to keep structure in the day for Nathan. And not doing a good job of either. My boss has passive agressive tendencies toward women with children concerns. This makes the whole situation just great!

My husband started radiation and chemo yesterday. He stopped on the way home to check on a client's problem. He vomited when he got back in the car. Came home glum. He took another anti-nausea pill with some flat ginger ale and vomited everything again! I called the Emergency Doc and he said to try more fluids in a couple of hours. We did and John had crackers and water before bed. All was well, thank God.

He has eaten today and is supposed to have a change in meds prior to today's treatment.

He wears a pump around his waist with a tube running into a port in his chest. Seeing that and all the incision scars and knowing how he felt was just too much. His eyes cried out "I don't want cancer anymore".

It was so hard to see him hurl into a waste can in the living room with my son (5) watching and then have tears running down his face because of the despair over the situation.

Many people have it worse than we do but it feels good to whine a little. No one ate dinner. Nathan had a few bites of stuff but the whole family was in a funk.

This morning Nathan was "writing" a letter to Daddy's doctor to tell him not to make Daddy so sick. This is way more than a five year old should have to deal with.

I have a mother of a cold and cough all night so I am not sleeping, my son is slowly getting over a cold of three weeks so far and my husband sounds like he is starting one.

I could go on forever but thanks for listening. We have five more weeks of this - 25 treatments. We are turning the Christmas counting calendar backwards and moving the candy cane away from 25 down to one! Tis the season....