i am just wondering how you actually teach someone to be grateful, or if something like that can even be taught.

i know very few people who are sincerely grateful people. it is too late to teach my kids . . . not saying that they are or are not grateful, i can't gauge that. thinking more about how to nurture that trait in my grandchild.

the grandchild is overscheduled and the culture teaches that kids receive from adults - hence no cards or gifts FROM kids to adults only TO kids from adults.

i don't think this is good but there is nothing i can do about it.

when i was a child, i took it upon myself to save money for christmas and bought something for everyone in my family. i am not sure where i got the idea i should do this.

Over abundance kills gratefulness. If a child truly wishes something, and receives it after a waiting period, then the child experiences true gratefulness. But if you read every child's wish from his or her eyes and grant it immediately...than they take it for granted.
I agree that children should be raised with the joy of giving. If they never learn that, they have missed out on something wonderful.

I also agree that children should learn to give at a young age. I remember getting so much joy from watching others open the presents that I purchased with my own money.

My nephew has always given gifts to adults. When he was a young boy, he and I always made a day of shopping and lunching so he could buy everyone presents. He would look at everything in Pier One to find just the perfect gift for his mother.

I do not have an idea of how to teach gratitude other than setting the example. And I believe expecting, at the very least, a please and thank you is important, too.

I'm all for the setting the example. Children learn what they live. In addition to setting an example, we need to tell them how to act in certain situations. I recall doing this when they were young teens, and they didn't appreciate it, but my flapping paid off. I wouldn't say anything in front of others, but after the situation was over, I'd say something to them when we were alone.

I think children need to learn to handle money. Wish I'd done
a better job of parenting that aspect of life.

That please and thank you issue is huge. I married into
a well-educated family. And yet MIL and WB don't use
please and thank you. I was raised by less educated dairy farmers; they taught me to say "please" and "thank you". And I do, do that!

I agree that gratitude has to be taught by example. Anticipating their every need and fulfilling that does not do them any favors.

We were taught to be grateful for what we received from our parents, etc. We also learned how to give while not expecting anything back.

I agree it's harder to do this in the society now what with all the demands put to the children that they simply must have this or that gadget to be 'like the other kids'. But I also was raised to say 'please' and 'thank you.'

This is a good question you posed Seek.

seek,
Don't know if gratefulness is a teachable trait. Perhaps it's one of those inbred gene things. Saw on the news where a 7 or 8
year old girl gave half of her Christmas gifts to charity.
Maybe if we point out the less fortunate in the world that might
have an impact on youngsters' sensitivity. Then again, it could
take some living to look around and see various calamity. Other
folks' suffering sometimes makes us do an inventory of our own stock.

I think that gratefulness is teachable..but best done from childhood onward and requires alot of patience, time.

It helps that significant adults in a child's world are consistently supportive of the child in a non-materialistic way. And that over time, a child learns that food, clothing...is just that. Only food, clothing to keep them alive..and provided by the parent(s). Teaching child some skills on self-suffficiency and how to create things, helps later if they are given by surprise, a similar item already made.

I think gratitude and appreciation comes from the heart but that said, I do feel we as parents can teach children to appreciate and offer thanks for the things they feel are important. Sometimes it takes and stays with them, and then other times its as if they were never taught anything at all! Go figure.

Again, I guess this comes back to teaching by example.
Good attitudes rub off on others. And little people are
more easily molded than older folks' already set in their ways.
Besides kids generally choose an adult they'd like to be
just like!