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#126729 - 08/30/07 09:32 PM
Conversations with women who are expecting
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Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
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All too often, we women who could not have babies experience difficulty conversing with women who are expecting. One reason is that it just hurts us too much. We just end up crying our eyes out when we are alone.
Another reason is that the expectant mother, in her joy (understandably so!) talks so much about her impending birth that we have nothing to contribute.
My question is this: Would it be ok to have a conversation with a pg woman and NOT acknowledge her pregnancy and just talk to her woman to woman?
We do not want to come across as rude or unfeeling, but it's just so uncomfortable that we usually avoid such conversations.
I hope this is an ok questions to ask. But I figured that the authorities here (mothers) might be able to shed some light.
Your heart-felt replies are so appreciated.
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#126732 - 08/31/07 08:03 AM
Re: Conversations with women who are expecting
[Re: Edelweiss]
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Member
Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
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And, please don't think you do not have anything to contribute to any conversation with a pregnant woman either, Di. The state of emotions a pregnant woman goes through swings from one end to another. Certain aspects of her health would not be dissimilar to another's e.g. nausea, bloated feeling, all that comes with weight gain, hair loss, calcium deficiency and many more which you can discuss with her and probably, even help her with. She may also have fears about the general state of global issues. You can discuss that as well. And if I were pregnant, I will surely appreciate that you're in the soap business and we can discuss where your products may be of benefit to me and my unborn child e.g. the shea butter. There are so many more to bring into a conversation despite circumstances. But, foremost, I was taught that the art of conversation is in listening. So, as Hannelore says, listen to the joy of the other. Joy is what is being shared.
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#126735 - 08/31/07 12:45 PM
Re: Conversations with women who are expecting
[Re: ]
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Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
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Interesting Lola. Since I do the Farmers/Craft market here twice weekly, whenever I see a pg woman, I oftentimes say "What you are using for stretch marks?"
Thanks for these honest replies. Please keep them coming. It think it's important to hear 'from the other side'.
I'll be "snipping" these replies into my board, of course deleted your names. It'd be good to hear what mothers think of this.
I'd love to hear more!
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#126736 - 08/31/07 05:53 PM
Re: Conversations with women who are expecting
[Re: Lola]
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Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
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Quote:
If no acknowledgment comes my way for how I was feeling and the conversation drifted immediately to other topics, I would find the flow of the conversation unnatural.
And, it would be unnatural for US to talk about the pg'cy. So, where is the line drawn? Where can it be comfortable for both parties??
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#126737 - 08/31/07 06:24 PM
Re: Conversations with women who are expecting
[Re: Di]
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Member
Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
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Quote:
And, it would be unnatural for US to talk about the pg'cy. So, where is the line drawn? Where can it be comfortable for both parties??
Courtesy ought to draw the line, Di.
If either speaker centers on herself, then it is not a conversation. It becomes a monologue. Pregnant or otherwise. So, when the pregnant woman continues to deliver a dramatic soliloquy, even I would be tempted to make an excuse to leave
I had to give a lot of thought about your second question, Di. And the closest that I could get around to a reply would be based on my relationship with my sister: perhaps, if the conversation is approached without building walls at first instance or comparisons in its duration because of differences?
Edited by Lola (08/31/07 10:57 PM)
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#126738 - 08/31/07 06:34 PM
Re: Conversations with women who are expecting
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Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
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Quote:
Di, I think that's perfectly fine. Some pregnant women may prefer to speak about something else for a change.
If it was a woman I knew personally from before, it would be nice to acknowledge (ie. when is baby due?).
If it is a woman I don't know, I tend not to ask. Di, being in female dominant profession (as a librarian where 80% are women), seeing pregnant professional women is quite common. Most of the time the conversation with other women whom I don't know personally, but professionally, tends to be work-related especially when it is a business networking /training session. These mothers do want to stay on top, professionally ]....so they are trying to glean as much info. as possible from others.
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#126740 - 09/01/07 12:39 AM
Re: Conversations with women who are expecting
[Re: orchid]
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Writer
Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
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I belong to many large groups of people and come in contact with younger pregnant women. Sometimes advice is asked for and I give it but I never start the conversation, I never refer to a womans condition, first. To me that would be like saying oh, your black, or oh, your Lesbian, or your fat/skinny, how's that working for you? I treat every single woman with respect and interest, but never bring up a personal topic. I always wait until they do. And Di, just talk, no need to talk differently to a woman because she is with child!!! Talk soap, or the weather, world hunger, fashion, anything. You're an intelligent lady you must be able to speak about many topics. Friendliness is the key, a nice big sincere smile works every time, even if you're not talking at all ...!
Edited by chatty lady (09/01/07 12:42 AM)
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