I really need help with this. I recently discovered that a man tried to molest my oldest son when he was young. I have found this man on the Internet. He's an author. I want him to completely understand that I know what he tried to do. Although it's been many years I want to basically...scare him. How would you handle this? Send him anonymous letters asking him if he still molests children or send him a letter stating who you are and you are watching him? Which do you think would threaten him the most?

I took a few moments and tried to really imagine this situation. Doesn't matter how old your son is now, it must break your heart to hear this.

My first thought was I would talk to my son and ask him how and if he wants to deal with this person himself. I can just as well imagine my son saying something like; forget it Mom, I want to forget it as well.

I think I would write an anonymous letter to the police. I would let them handle it.

These people who "try" to molest others are clever manipulitive people so you threatening him will alert him.He will have a coping stategy .
Wheras if his local police know to keep an open eye another person may be kept safe.
My gut feeling is that were it me I would march up to his door or wait at a book signing and let rip...my brain tells me to trust the authorities.
Think....what would you want to look back on and feel you had done your best.Thats often the best thing.
Mountain ash

Dianne, I too tried to put myself in this particular situation. I am sorry to hear that it happened.

The problem with not confronting him, would be worrying if he is still doing it to others. The problem with confronting him is giving him a headsup. catch 22.

I don't know if the police would even bother unless you found someone who truly cared enough to check this perps whereabouts, surroundings or place of work etc.

How does you son feel? Did he say what he thinks you or he could/should do?
I think if it were me, I'd call him up, tell him who I am and what I know. I'd probably angrily cuss him out. Oh, I just can't imagine....I am getting argrier the more I write this. I am thinking about my own son and if it happened to him. Grrrr.

Out of curiousity, what kind of writer is he? Have you read any of his books?

Terrible, just terrible for your son to have gone through this.
Give yourself a day or two before you commit to any move. Dang, I'm so mad.

Dianne, have you gone to that site to see if he's listed as a child molester? I can't recall what it is, but I know there's one. I remember looking at the map and seeing that we had a child molester that lived one block away. All the neighborhood kids knew about him.

Anyway, I'd do that, and I'd ask your son what he would like to do about it.

I can't imagine being in your shoes (even though they are such pretty ones). I would definitely have to practice self-control.

Here is some info on the pig:

http://www.skepticfiles.org/ufo2/mj12team.htm

He and his wife went to our church in AZ and she suddenly divorced him. I think I know why now. I'm going to do some more investigation before making any move. I don't think the police would get involved this late. Dotsie, I hope you can remember that site. I'd like to see if he's on there.

Search for Megan's Law, with the state name, and you should find it.

I think this is Minnesota's search link:
http://www.doc.state.mn.us/level3/search.asp

By the way, some websites offer this info and sound official, but when you get right down to it, they try to sell you the info as a package with other stuff. Beware.

I'm not going to tell my son what I'm doing. I want to mess with this man's mind. I'm going to send him one sentence (question) by snail mail from different locations. Like, "Are you still trying to molest young boys?" I want to make him crazy. A mother's revenge, much too late.

Dianne, Dianne.. I am an incest victim..my father..many many years ago now. I just want to caution you about doing anything without your son´s knowledge. I believe that "rape" of any kind is horrible..but picture what your son experienced as a young boy. This is a boy being molested by another man..I mean SEE what is happening. Do you really want to bring this expereince to the forfront in the way you are planning? Your son may found out somehow. Do you want him to know this way..what you are doing??? I am only cautioning you..raising questions... from the point of view of your son. My own mother did next to nothing when she found out what my father had done. Well, she sent me to boarding school..catholic boarding school..I was about 12 at the time. So YESSSSSS... I do believe that your son probably needs the support of your outrage and anger..but be SURE!!!! HE IS THE ONE THAT LIVED IT: And believe me, it leaves lasting and very deep scars. Is your son getting any help for this? in some way that would really be helpful for him. I can promise you that he probably has sex issues.. I am NOT your son and I am NOT GOD...but I am begging you to think before you do anything..and get in touch with your son first...

I am sending you lots of LIGHT and LOVE and WARMTH in your darkness..because that´s what it is..abysmal darkness...