The last time I spoke with my son I told him I was going to write to Oprah, but then I saw this site, and I am asking everyone out there what is wrong with young women these days. My son is a college graduate, does not smoke or drink excessively, is not obese, has a great job with a good future, and is not a pimply-faced geek. Yet ever since high school, he has faced the reality that most young women these days only want the jerks and bad boys. You see them on every talk show whining and complaining about how their boyfriends mistreat them and cheat on them, yet when my son attempts to date any of them all they only want to be just "friends." He has been on all the online dating services, and has sent out at least 75 e-mails to potential dates. He has not had even one response. I don't know what to tell him any more. He doesn't want to do the bar scene, and he has great respect for women, but no one is interested. Any ideas?

How old is your son? Mine is 27 and still single, although he's never had a problem getting girlfriends. Believe it or not, there are lots of young women out there who have no interest in dating "jerks". My daughter is one of them, and she has yet to find Mr. Right. In fact, she's kissed so many frogs, she's not really into dating right now. She'd rather be single and happy then settle for what she doesn't really want.

Neither of my kids has had much luck in the computer dating scene. My daughter Laura was telling me just the other day about a male friend who never dates but just has "computer romances". What's wrong with this picture?

I'm optimitstic enough to believe that our good kids will eventually find someone who deserves them and it will have been worth the wait.

I believe that when they are actively looking for a date, it doesn't happen. As soon as they stop caring and focus on themselves, the perfect person comes along. He should just relax and let it happen.

My daughter is beautiful. Men stare at her and she doesn't even notice. She's not looking though and I feel the opposite sex can read it.

Think about it...if you've just broken up with some guy and are interested in meeting someone new, you can't even attract the cockroaches at night. But, if you're in a happy relationship, men swarm you. It's all in our attitude.

So tell your wonderful son to ignore women and have fun with his buddies and the right gal will be there soon!

crafty and dianne, your son and daughter need to meet!

craftygal..
Too bad we are 3000 miles apart. My daughter (21)tells me the same thing about men, only wanting the bad girls.
She tells me, pickins are few.
If, we lived closer you & I could play cupid.

We thought our son-in-law was one of the nice guys--turns out he was a frog--only good thing he's done is give us three beautiful grandsons.

Craftygal, Some of the nicest guys come across as needy and clingy by the things they say and no girl or woman needs or wants that. of course your son is perfect to you because he is your son but have you ever asked any girls their opinion of him and why they feel as they do if its a negative response? I also noticed you said he wasn't obese and/or pimply faced geek as if those were accepted reasons to reject someone???

[ November 10, 2005, 06:28 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

I could say the same about my son. I do have some tips about the internet dating.. since I was a success at 48! If he is not getting the responce he wants, he needs to tweek the profile. It most likely is not finding the most compatable people. Also try sites for college grads. ect. for instance just because he doesn't drink go easy on stating how strongly he feels about it on the profile. Really talk about it as an issue when a connection is made. That goes for other items that may be important, but negoitiable. P.S. note that I live in Cottonwood CA

I appreciate everyone's input, it makes me feel better just talking about it. As any mother knows, your child is perfect, but in this case most of the girls my son has met like him as just a friend. He has loaned them his truck to move them, has helped them out of constant jams, and the only response he gets is a dialog about their latest new boyfriend. Sometimes when he does speak out they tell him he is too good for them, that he deserves better. Well, I think so, too, but it is very frustrating, so I am trying to stay out of it and give advice only when asked. When I said he wasn't obese or a pimply faced geek, I only meant that he does not have any immediate appearance issues that would turn many women off before even talking to him, and let's face it, appearances in our society do count when you are trying to meet people. Most of the time I am trying to remain optimistic, and hope that this nice guy does not finish last.