I had the happiest news, twice this week and that's a downright bonanza around here lately. My oldest son got word that his unit will be leaving Iraq sometime in November and heading back to base in Kentucky. After a couple of weeks of rigamarole there, he will be able to take leave and come home to Maryland. He will be home for Christmas for the first time in two years. I am over the moon!

A day later, my youngest, a daughter received a letter in the mail from the US Naval Academy advising her that she will be offered an appointment to the Academy pending a nomination from a senator or congressman. So effectively, if she chooses to commit there, her college search is over.

My middle son is home this semester and will be transferring to college nearby in the spring. So that means that come Christmas all of my children will be home and under one roof for the first time in about 3 years.

I am really happy and excited to imagine the hilarity and the hugs and the joys that this time should bring. I'm also a little apprehensive because they are all three very different people than they were the last time we were all together. Could be a very interesting holiday season.

But this past week has had me thinking about the ups and downs of things when you parent multiple children. My daughter is in a better place emotionally than she's been in a long time....she's up! My oldest will be just happy to be free of the constraints of the military life and away from the gritty, sandy, dangerous hell of a combat zone, but my middle son is at sort of a crossroads and not really all that happy with things right now. So it makes me wonder what it would be like, if ever, all three were in a good place at the same time. Would I finally be able to sleep, breath, think, without holding my breath, my tongue or feeling a knot in my belly? But someone said to me recently, when I mentioned this, that look at it this way.....if they aren't all in a great place at the same time, then chances are they won't ever all be in a crappy place at the same time.....good way to look at it. Just count my blessings that I have three great kids who love me and are doing okay most of the time.

How is it for all of you who have more than one? Do you find yourself feeling like you are doing triage from time to time, running kid to kid, fixing boo boos even though they are nearly grown? I know my mom must have felt that way with the ups and downs of her six kids.

You can not be a wife anymore to someone, but when a mother, YOU ARE always a mother. I have always said this and believe it wholeheartedly.
My mother is 88, I am 68 and she is still mothering me, and the funny part is sometimes I really need her mothering, SO I know that to my own two sons, when and if they need mothering, I will be there so long as I AM ALIVE. Its my job, my calling, my priviledge...

Yep, chatty, once a mother, always a mother... unless you relinquish the title. I know, so many times I wanted to turn in my 'MOMMY BADGE.' The position can get worrisome, but oh so well worth it.

I've got four - 27, 25, 20 and 15... only the 20 year old is out at the moment and he works a full time job and part time at another job. Went to school for a while but didn't want to continue. He's smart though so I would suspect he'll figure it out. The older two, our daughter and son both work but don't make enough to live out on their own... they did, but had to come home. I love them and enjoy them, and like having them around, BUT, it will be nice when they move out for real... then I can enjoy them from afar.

Kate

Unfortunately sometimes when the birds leave the nest it is for too long. By that I mean they begin their own lives, their own jobs, their own friends and their own ideas, wants and needs.

Sometimes we are left behind their busy schedules and only see them when they have time for us. I use to make me crazy and I felt neglected and dejected BUT then one day I realized, we have all been there, pretty much have done the same thing. So I decide to stop stressing over this and get on with my own life.

Now if I see them, wonderful! If not, I don't think about it as I am enjoying my own life. They know where I am and that I am their mother always... Its life, and the right of passage...

Oh I know....I adore my kids, I love it when they're here, I love it when they're gone.

My mother has told me on more than one occasion that we're just joined at the hip, and it drives her nuts if I'm at her house for the weekend and they call me, but I'm glad they've always been pretty much communicative with us, except for a small patch of the lovely teen age years.

K

I love it when they're here - I love it when they're gone. Kate, I feel the same way. I enjoy the busy-ness wehn they're here, and run on adrenalin, but when they leave, I enjoy the peace and quiet.

Kath, this is such great news. I know you can't wait, but I understand your apprehension because they ARE all in different places. It should be wild to see how they interact as young adults. What I'm trying to do when around all of them at once is to talk less and listen more. Tough for me to do. I have a habit of yakking all the time, but I've found it best to let them converse without me trying to make the conservation work.

You mention your mom having six. My mom had five and I think one of us was usually in some sort of funk - even when we had children. With five kids and 13 grands, someone was either sick or funked out about something, which left Mom and Dad to always have one of us to worry about. But what we have to do, and I'm still learning, is to celebrate the ones who are doing well!