If you have children who are either infertile, barren or maybe married to a spouse who does not want children or more if they have them already(but YOUR child does want their own flesh and blood), do you think it would help if you had a support-type board to assist you in your understanding them?

We have many members on my website (see signature below) who have parents who give them either guilt trips or something about not "giving" them grandchildren. Our members have expressed that they'd like their parents to become educated or at least hear others' stories about the trials of being CNBC, as different as it is. We know that parents, since they HAVE children, have great difficulty seeing our point of view without them thinking we are whining or needing to "get over it".
It is not an easy thing to "get over" since the loss of bearing a child is much greater than most recognize.

We are considering a separate tea room (as we call them) on our board, but some members feel it might be difficult for them to open up, knowing that their parents are lurking.

Any input would be appreciated.

Di, this is a wonderful idea. People often don't realize the hurt their comments cause a childless couple. Why not have them all get together to air their concerns? How will anybody stop the nagging if parents, friends and other relatives think it's "harmless" to give their unsolicited advice?

Even though I have children I never appreciated all the "harmless" comments in the ten years prior to their birth. What's worse are the totally insensitive comments coming from people who don't really even know why a couple hasn't conceived a child yet. People just don't get it that this subject is really none of their business unless the childless couple wants to discuss it.

This is a long overdue subject that people need to be educated about. Just think how many couples will appreciate you for this and how much it will help those who think their comments are well-meaning and welcomed? It's like anything that you need to learn about. How can you know if no one wants to educate you on it?

Very well said,Ladybug.

And you are right about:

quote:

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People just don't get it that this subject is really none of their business unless the childless couple wants to discuss it.

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Many want to ask WHY or IF they have or do not have kids. I say they want to get in your bedroom if they DO ask. So, we can just say "It's a personal issue" and end of conversation.

Yes, it is LONG overdue for sure.

Thanks for your support. This means so much from the boomer community!

[ January 03, 2006, 08:30 PM: Message edited by: Di ]

You definetely do have my support!

Di, please check out todays Dear Abby column. This subject is brought up as the second question.

What do you think about it?

My oldest daughter would DEARLY love to have a child. For whatever reason, she hasn't been able to conceive. She and her husband (of 5 years) have gone to fertility experts and she's taken shots, pills, etc, and nothing has worked.

I would so love to talk about this with her and know her pain, but I'm afraid the subject is way to sensitive for her. How can I approach her?

Vicki,

Please go to our site and post in the "Thoughts and Suggestions" tea room. Many will answer! Just title it "Mother of a CNBCer....HELP!!"

thanks for the suggestion. I went over and posted.

We went through four years of infertility and it was one of the toughest times in our lives.

Di, I think what you are doing is commendable. You need to get some articles published in the magazines for the younger set so they can learn about your site. Have you ever queried magazines?

Di: I believe it's a necessary subject to discuss and have support for. I know that many will be blessed by your effort. And yes! get the word out... pass it on! God bless your efforts!