When I took my oldest son off to college last year, I thought phew....what a relief. Senior year and senior summer were a major challenge and we were all relieved that peace would be restored with him off at college. We'd see him on holidays and summer so no big melodrama. But then he came home, hated the school, his roommates etc. For a year he's been drifting, doing little besides part time work, video games, a little partying. He told me he'd be going back to school in the fall. But instead, he will be going to enlist this weekend. Yes enlist in the Army. So this time, when he goes off to boot camp, maybe in December, he'll be going off forever. He may really be finally leaving the nest, but this was not what I had in mind. And after watching the excellent but heart wrenching HBO special last night, "Last letters home", I'm more afraid than ever. This is one of those be careful what you wish for things....I hoped he'd leave home...I never expected it to be to enlist. I'm a wreck.
He's a 19 year old child. He's very intelligent, butcan't think his way out of a brown paper bag sometimes when it comes to common sense and he's potentially going off to war. I was ready to let the boy child go to college....I am not ready to let the man child go to war.

Kathryn, I have goose bumps. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel all better, but as the mother of a 19 year old son, I don't. Someone, please help. Sherri, how about you? You have a son in Iraq.

Your family is on my prayer list. Please know that you are being carried.

Take it one day at a time. Perhaps he won't have to go to war. How's that for a thought?

Also, I have a neighbor whose daughter is there through February. I'm sure she'd love to sit and chat with you. Just let me know.

Kathryn I can't even imagine the fear you're feeling. Going off to college is one thing but off to war, thats totally different....Theres a saying by Sylvia Ribinson that goes:

Some think its holding on that makes one strong;
some times its letting go....

Your son will be added to our Churchs daily prayer group, what's his name?

I'm really sorry to hear this. I have two sons and I know how I'd feel if I were in your shoes, at least, I think I know. You must be horrified. I don't really know what to say but like the others here, I will remember both of you in my thoughts and prayers.

Kathryn, I don't have children and can only imagine how worried you are. Whereas I don't see going to war as necessarily a solution to our problems, maybe your son thinks that it is. Maybe he doesn't know exactly what he thinks, but "feels" that he should do this. Either way, love him and support his decision. It seems he's been drifting for a while, and maybe this will give him answers to his life, whether these answers change his views or solidify them. Whatever else, war makes kids grow up in a hurry. He will change in ways that neither of you can foresee.

I will pray for his safety and your sanity.

Thanks, as always for lifting me up on your angel wings! "Letting go" is a great image, I've been thinking about that for a while now. That poem from Bishop Jakes comes to mind....I printed it out and will have to make it my mantra..... love you guys!

Kath, how about an update on your son. I've been convering all of you in prayer and am dying to hear how things are progressing. Thanks!

Kathryn,
It must be really hard on you as you watch this. We will be praying for you and your family.
Our son has been talking about and talked to an ROTC officer this last week. My stomach was churning the whole time we sat there. The officer left us with this. "If you are a believer then if something happens you know where you will be going. Yes, your family will be greiving but they too will know."
Were here for you.
Maggie

Well my ladies....he signed the contract and swore the oath and now will be Private man child!
He will go to basic training in January in Ft. Leonard Wood Missouri....I was hoping for somewhere warm and southern so that when I went to his "graduation" I could drive through north and south carolina and find the place I intend to create "Kathland". It will be a new country where people can be who they want to be as long as they live in love, where people can believe in their God or not, by whatever name they call him/her, where we don't pay taxes to support dishonest government, where sexuality is not the only thing that matters in an election and where I will brew my own brand of corn whiskey and watch the sun set in peace surrounded by people like you all! But I digress....so after Missouri, he will go to advanced training in ARizona and then, in all liklihood will go to the sunny middle east!!!!!! I'm trying not to be sad, scared, upset, insane in front of him. I respect the decision he has made and pray that God will guide and protect him, now that I won't be able to. That's the hard part I think....motherhood is a long series of leave-taking. From the minute we push them from the womb we begin the process of goodbyes. With each milestone, each passage, each step there is a goodbye to something....a loss of a moment that can never come again. When we think of our children leaving home for the last time....like at their wedding....we cry for the loss of our child but rejoice for the birth of the adult. Somehow, sometime, this had to happen, I had to let my baby boy go, I just didn't believe it would be like this and did not anticipate the perils he will face. So I will probably be weepy for awhile and I hope you all will forgive me.
Meanwhile, I'm so grateful to all of you for your love and warmth and generosity. I wish I could see you all, face to face, and raise a glass to this amazing family of women!

Kathryn,
That was so beautifully written. I don't recall being privy to the inside of a Mother's heart so vividly as I was reading your post. While I feel the tug at your heart, at the same time I marvel at your ability to express your true emotions right now, and pray that you will keep a daily journal so you can hand it to your MAN-child upon his safe return. You are one amazing woman!

My guess is he is one amazing Man-child. We will make the journey with him, and surround him with our boomer love which, by the way, is very powerful in itself. Prayers will go with him, every step of the way.

Love to you both,

JJ