Currently a court case to challenge non-disclosure of anonymous sperm donors.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/nati...article1733841/

Excerpt below:




I guess maybe I seriously don't embrace these assisted reproductive technologies:

anonymous sperm donation- leads to situations where child/whoever wants to know father's identity. Valid, but when it is launched as a court case, I do wonder what maybe the underlying reason other than to complete one's own understanding of their identity.

Above excerpt, states the information access law and patient/donor information that is only kept for a limited time period.

There is another Canadian court case right now, where there was donor sperm mix-up. The child is only 3 yrs. but mother is upset that child will not "know" her real father/identity. They thought she was impregnated with hubby's sperm. (I dunno, just how important is this ..in the end, particularily if child becomes an ok, well-adjusted adult.)

surrogant mothers: women who are pregnant with someone else's child (well, one could argue it's her child also) because another woman cannot conceive. And she is paid for carrying the child until birth.

Both of the above assisted reproductive technologies are fraught with real potential problems.

Perhaps I am fatalistic..but if natural conception is not possible, then it was meant to be. Hard and painful for some to accept, but the 2 options above are just fraught with potential problems down the road.

Maybe I'm only seeing the negative. That said, for children who are conceived under such circumstances, they deserve the same quality childraising as any other child.

Interesting discussion you are opening up, Orchid.

I have no personal experience, in that I was conceived by my parents and I've grown up knowing both of them -- and my own children were conceived in the traditional way.

However, my mother is adopted and I have seen her struggle with identity issues for much of my life. Her adoptive parents were well-off financially, but she grew up with a lot of physical (sexual) and emotional abuse -- and even at age 80 she still struggles with issues related to these challenges.

When I was in my teens she told me that she had come to the PERSONAL conclusion that adoption should be allowed. I don't know for sure if she still believes this, but at that time, she told me that it was her opinion that if a couple could not conceive, it was likely God's will that they did not have children. And that we humans should not attempt to subvert God's intentions.

I was a regular baby sitter for two adopted children at that time, and I had a hard time with her philosophy. It seemed to me that the two kids I regularly sat for were enjoying a good life in a family that cared for them and was providing a good life for them. Which certainly seemed better than having them live in a "facility" such as an orphanage.

Later, as she aged, my mother sought out medical history-type information about her birth parents, in an attempt to understand some of the health situations she was experiencing -- and I could certainly recognize that she really ought to to have access to these medical records.

Unfortunately, as you mentioned in your current news cases, she discovered that the adoption agency no longer maintained records on her -- there is no information available to her as to who her birth parents were.

All she knows is that her mother was unwed -- she learned that from her adoptive mother when she was in her 40s. (THAT knowledge in itself was extremely hard on her emotionally. My grandmother (her adoptive mother) told to her right after her adoptive father's death.

Specifically, my grandmother called her on the phone and told her that she had located her original birth certificate among my grandfather's personal papers, and that it indicated that she was a "bastard."

As a 17 year old, I was amused at the news, but it put my mother into a depression that lasted for years.

So I am inclined to agree with you, Orchid:

• Children conceived by parents who are not married deserve the same quality of upbringing as any other child.
  
• Children conceived out of wedlock deserve to know their health histories
• Men who donated sperm to a sperm bank for use other then by their own wives - and with expectations of having their identity remain undisclosed - deserve the right to remain anonymous.
  

I'd love to hear thoughts from people here who have more direct experience than I do, however.

Anne

I really appreciate learning about your mother's story of her adoption, identity, Anne.

I've always believed in adoption by loving parents.

I am not aware of anyone in my extended family who is adopted.

In a vague way, I appreciate a person's need to dimly understand their family background, at least back to parents. I know my rootedness of how I understand myself in relation to other people, does stem from a reliable understanding of who my parents are, their background (but that's really vague knowledge), etc. We never knew any of our grandparents and just having passing dim details. It is not critical to me nor any of my siblings, would have been nice to know, but not critical.

So for your mom, hope she will find resolution and consolation..most likely she does as a mother, because she has a healthy, caring daughter, grandchildren, etc.

I had heard of a woman who wanted and did have a child where I believe she knew the guy but didn't want the guy in the picture for participating in any way to raise nor support her child. She was university educated woman. Works for an environmental consulting firm. She actually went cycling with 2 other guys 2 yrs. ago for about 400 kms. over a mountain pass. (I got a car ride from some friends with my bike.) I think she was already pregnant then because she told the guys. She was in her lst trimester.

Yes, well....incredible, unusual stories.

Really it was like a known donor situation except no payment. Kinda hard for me to fathom since I chose not to have children and have no regrets. Whereas for her, the maternal instinct she could not ignore.

My best friend's brother was adopted. Her parents had tried to have a child and couldn't, so they adopted Jim as a young baby. A few months later Heidi was conceived.

It's interesting to watch two children grow up in the same household and be so different. Heidi has always been well-rounded and stable. Jim had difficulties for such a long time, and passed away at an early age from an accidental drug overdose.

I guess you could say that it was genetics, but I've seen families with birth children turning out extremely different too. Jim tried to find his parents but his adoption records were sealed. We knew where he was born, and Heidi and I took him "home" and spread his ashes at the ocean near where he was born.