This past week, I've spent some time with great-nieces and a great-nephew. They range in age from 2-5. My gracious, I can't imagine being the grandmother. These kids were all precious, so personable, and just straight-up adorable. HOw do you all peel yourselves away from your grandchildren and not make yourselves a pest to their families?

"Peeling" is always difficult, Dotsie. My grandchildren and I suffer from separation anxiety. But, one explains to the older ones that I have work to attend to and they have an uncle who also needs me to be around. The little one just bawls but, happily waves goodbye all the same when I board the train back to London.

My relationship with my grandchildren is the result of a healthy relationship I have with my daughter and her husband. When love begets love, then my role as a grandmother is acknowledged, wanted, needed and appreciated. But, most importantly, my daughter is married to a most wonderful man. The role of SIL's and DILs can easily be trespassed if one is not at one mind and heart with them. Fortunately, my SIL comes from a family of similar dynamics and values to ours. That is a blessing, because no matter how closely my daughter and I relate to each other, if my SIL turned out entirely in contrast to the man he is, then we'd all be playing a different ballgame.

That reply Lola is so true.And it follows that total respect for each other exists.
Shared values and dynamics are so important.

In addition being like that leaves energy to share with those other that come into your sphere.Unlike negativity which depletes.

Mountain ash

Lola, you ARE blessed. How fortunate your daughter chose such a lovely mate for life. I'm sure you had lots to do with that by example. I envision one great big circle of love.

Lola, how do you communicate with them from home? DO you do any video with your computer?

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Unlike negativity which depletes.

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So very true, MA. The period of courtship is also very important. It helps greatly in that it allows everyone to know each other well so, no one is left in a position to second guess the other.

We webcam each other every day when I'm not with the grandchildren, Dotsie. It's actually a riot because when either of them drifts away from the camera to do something naughty, I can easily call the mischief to their attention. Especially the little one. He likes to pinch secretly. There's so much you can do with children on webcam like sending winks or having finger puppets drift in and out of the screen for them. My older grandson and I also send each other postcards. It's one of those things that we encourage so as to develop his writing skills.

A friend has almost the same with her Grandsons Lola but they are growing bigger.She gives them a book allowance and it has to be spent on books that are read and shared with her..she craftily got a hardly ever reader to start to enjoy books way back when JK Rowling started Harry Potter.
Mountain ash

Peel yourself away, thats a good way to put it Dotsie. I had to do just that when Jason was first born because every day I found myself driving to my sons place to "help." I culdn't leave the little guy alone. No one complained but I could feel in myself that I was being an pest. So alas, as hard as it was I limited myself to once a week and then only after I called first... Drove me crazy for awhile too!

Chatty, your post made my heart twinge. What we have a lot of with Anaiya, is just the opposite with our grandson Michael.

If we are lucky, we see our grandson once every two weeks. This may sound like a lot to some of you, but my son and his family live only 10 minutes away. Knowing they are so close, makes it harder to accept. Our relationship to our DIL and her family evolved like I thought it would. My DIL comes from a large family who live on the same street, and some in the same house.. It’s like a subway station there. My son doesn’t have anything to say in the matter; …except with us. And he sends loud and clear messages that he wants his piece and quiet. He's suffering enough under all the other visitors.

Oh well. This is the DIL that insisted my son take her last name.…So you can imagine the rest of the story. Now he has her name and her family, much more than he cares to have.

We are staying in the background, and I think at this point, we are doing our son a big favour for doing that.

EW my heart goes out to you. My son lives about 8 miles from us and I usually call before I stop by. It's hard when there is such a big family that seems to encompass everyone. I come from one with 6 children and I had 50 first cousins. So I understand how your son could very well be overwhelmed.

But what a sad thing that you don't get to see your grandson only once every two weeks. I do get to see my little grandson Dustin a couple of times a week or more if they're available.

Chatty I think I was like you. While I didn't go t help, I really enjoyed having the baby to myself for 7 months three mornings a week that I babysat him while mommy worked. Then the weekend deal was great. But now that he's into his two's he likes being at home with his parents at night and that's fine with me. I sometimes go to their place when they need a few hours out now. It's working out all right.

Dotsie, yes you do feel like you have to peel yourself away from them. They are the neatest things to happen to us. However, it's hard when they are crying for you to take them with you everytime you go to their home. Luckily we've worked past that for now.

Lola it sounds like you all have the perfect situation going. Congratulations to you all.

Mountain I want to remember what your friend did and do that with my little grandson. Very cool!

Having 6 kids and 12 grandkids, plus two more on their way, and everyone lives fairly close -- is awesome! We are very close-knit, we spend alot of time together although not all at the same time unless if it is a party.

Some days I have to think...okay which grand did I not talk to today or hug and kiss LOL; which kid did we not touch base with.
Our heads will spin at times, but its a good thing!