i didnt want to post this under kids and cover up the new post their so thought heer was good enough.

hitting/smaking, sqeezing arms nipping!!

Something that never came from lucien but hes picked it up at pre-school. He is also imitating his teachers who are cross so he using a cross voice and face. I am goinna have a meeting with her to see if its directed at him at the class and how often he gets cheeked(voices rased trying to keep order etc)

i honestlie dont think its comming from his teachers but po tells me that nips and squeezes are a favorite amongst some teachers and nurserie workers becouse they can't hit or use any physical punishment now!

hitting i see as potencialie kids lashing out others and even lucien. Theirs something almost natural in that expression of frustrasion from a youngster, but nipping!!!

Almost a whole diffrent leage don't you think?

theirs nuthing natural or flalling (arms) about that
Its horrible the level of agression he uses in reaction to not getting his own way. Its picked up momentam again after 1 week back at school and i am far from happie about it.

No theirs no punishments like that in the house apart from time out and when he's been reallie bold his room for 5 minets.

So any none aggresive methods to stop this in it's tracks. Advice on what to tell him as i think it's comming at him from the other kids (wee horrors)

i am fed up telling him no we dont hit heer and good at being consistent with it and reaction. Then i specified no hitting lucien or mummies in some hope that he applies it to himself....ie no kids hitting him.

He said his teacher hit him when she cross when i asked him who! but i think thats more about error in his language skills. He's not verbal enough to say who else ie classmate etc.

I hate to say it as much as i think realie do think its an error in language he said his teacher I am left feeling mistrustfull and suspisious.

any advice that wont wind me up more? i been practicing how not to sound accosotory with the teachers when the meeting comes and been over it with po so she dosent sound that way too.

Celtic, kids often pick up aggressive behaviors at (what we call) pre-schools. Kids with siblings around the same age often become agressive, also. They learn ways to get what they want very easily and it seems that agression works with many children.

You may want to go and observe a few times to see what the behaviors are like, especially during free times, play times and lunch. Usually, these types of behaviors only occur when students are less structured.

As far as the teachers go, I would listen to Lucien as you have been, and discuss the event as specifically as you are able, with the teachers and ask them what they remember about the situation. Most parents are concerned about aggression, and the teachers should understand this.

I am not sure what nipping is, but I assume it is biting or pinching. Again, these behaviors are not unusual, although very aggrevating.

It's hard to control how other children behave and what Lucien picks up from others. Since he is doing this at home, where you do have control, just stick to your beliefs and let him know that the behavior is not acceptable. The best way to let him know this is to never give in to his behavior, but just keep timing him out a few minutes and reminding him of the correct way to get what he wants. As long as you keep reinforcing his positive behaviors he will let go of this aggression soon,when he figures out it will not work for him.

Hope this helps a tiny bit.

My cousin's son is like that. The mother is a pediatrician and tries to deal with this problem.

I know the only thing that has suppressed his aggressions and temperament was when he played with little girls. He seemed transformed and was as mild as a lamb. But when with boys, he was a fighter. So the parents tried to get him together with little girls in his free time, and it has helped him play more subdued.

Maybe it's something that boys just have; and some more than others. Try to get him into sports as soon as possible…they can let off a lot of steam that way.

nipping is pinching...its a girls thing to do i always thought. The school was 1 assistant down last week so 23 kids is a lot to manage with onlie 2 adults. I felt for them i know its their job but they looked frayed and at the end of their teather....

Lucien was putting his finger under the toilet tap and squirtting water AND stood on top of the toilet to swing from the door. i got told this when i went to pick him up.

I took him into toilet and asked what he thought was dangerise about standing on the toilet, he thought he would fall or his foot would go in toilet and he be hurt...So that establised for him i took him up to his teacher and he apoligised...for being bold.
I was a bit taken aback by the behaviour i didnt aske how manie other kids weer involved and who they weer, but i bet their be a bunch of them...

he is a "run the roads" like me we both love being out and doing, today he was at school then a few hours visting banks and doc for pauline he loves the car and the attension. we went for a small walk then home to do nice things at computer. The outburst came just before bed and yes he was tired and it was over some programe not being on....but he went and tryed to nipp/pinch me on the hand!!!i told him to stop so he hit me. Obviouslie i wassent hurt but its more the intension that bothers me.

i gave him time out and he was crying and upset and shoting he was sorrie, i accepted it but stuck to the time out for the appropriate time...

now ANNO i didnt think i could aske at this stage of the game to observe at school but when i have my meeting i will aske if i can....Hannilore i agree he needs an outlet for his energies and kid play i can take him out dailie but cant always manage the kiddie play...

It might be that he learning to stand up for himself but taking it in rong direction and doing same bahaviour at home.

When he went he get hit (watching in playgrounds and playparks) and just laugh he didnt know what was happening so assumed it funnie...At school it might have happend 1 time to manie so he standing up for himself by adopting the same behaviour...

i also got to rember that he onlie 3 and thes outburst are natural (frustrasion anger) and he LEARNING to control and tempeer them or socilize his feelings into appropriate expressions...

NOW WEAR IS THE INSTRUCTION BOOK LOL

thanks ladies both of you for answereing this. Especillie you hannilore when you have so much going n on for you.
cheers

that was what i was like ORCHID from 8 or 9 i NEEDED exercise at that age i didnt know it but by 11 or 12 i did swimm, runn for school and for clubs outside school.

In by mid to late teens i was aware that my mood could be changed in a positive way by exercise.....which continued throughout my life. I have a bodie type that needs to be physical.

i know he needs wants out dailie like i do and we go do stuff, and his walks in park and playpark are a well looked forward to thing. The new house has a bit of garden this one dosent its 1 of the reasons i'm moving...

He will aske me if we can go out please, so since he is requesting i do it but i can't do it everie time he requests it...

organised sport he is a bit young for but as soon as he is old enough then i taking him. heer its marcial arts from as young as 4 or 5....Think thats the sport that has the younger age limit more than swimming or team sports...

i also did karatie and kung foo veriy well when i was younger, loved the streching exercises and the disipline, got a few troupies for that and some other sports.
Heers a secrite as a mid teen i wanted to join the armie lol becouse of the exeercises and i thought they would let me fly helicopters. Ironicalie the first tour of dutie was in northern ireland when my mum heard that she march me out of their carrers office.....now i live in the place lol...changed days for countrie and me..

so aplles dont fall far from treass as they say and he just may need a lot or a bit more physical stuff....

ANNO thanks for reminding me to listen and keep listening to him!

this am getting him dressed he was smilling and playfullie grabed my neck..i asked him not to so he stoped talked and said it not nice to do that asking him who dose that? again he said his teacher.

So i asked him show me so up the living room he went and ran towards me babling eybrows crossed finger wagging and grabed my arm pulling it....I think (hope) he is transfearing the grabing of arms to face or other bodie areas....she better not have grabed his neck.....everie time in imitating his teacher he dose the same thing and the same grabb....i asked what about the boys in school he grabed himself (arm)and said ouch!!

lack of verbal sckills is one thing but i but more importances in imitatting and he is consistentlie imitating the same stuff the same way.....when i have my meeting with her i am gonna aske if she can explain this (whitout hostilitie in my voices.

even if she restraning or moving child out the way or cheeking them/him he is internalising it with a lot of agression thats concernes me...

i am just biding my time untill the meeting ...

you know this been driving me nuts last few weeks, talking about it bringing a lot of relife...and i thought it was too little a thing to post about.

cheers

had a good meeting with the teacher (head) and their is couple wee boys that are aggresive and violent....

lucien has been see this and playing it out in the house....to see what effect he gets.
Hes not doing it in school and the teachers are watching (more carefullie)to see if he being or reciving more agression from couple other boys, than they have been aware off....

we descused him imitating the teachers and what he is doing...this was tough to broch tactfullie and without acusasion....in the end we agreed that it may be an amalgamations of behaviours he imitating her cheeking and rased voice with all the kids and the other "violent/agressive" boys in class....made her aware of the nipping/pinching she was surprised but agreed hes seen it somewear or had it dune to him in school...

got good news, she telling us how affectionite he is, hes populare with boys and girls, hes sharring toys and turn taking....hes verie funnie and generallie a delight to be about....sadlie his tonge tie may be effecting his speech afterall...some more work to do their for me and po...

waaaa kids eh! waaaa life!!!! their the love of your life, the worrie of your life,and the life in your life lol



i happie to leave it at that for now with her.....he responding to whats happening in house and calming it down a bit....

yea speekermom aint the ladies a wee tresure of advice and experinces...