Hello Ladies,

Recently my son and his former girlfriend-mother of my grandchild argued profusely. Well, in the midst of the argument, she shouted to him that my grandchild is not his child-he's not the father!

Well, back in the days when this woman was pregnant some folk here were able to see straight thru her via my posts.

This is sooo sad since I already love this baby. My family has gone out of the way to help tend to this little baby in the order to help ease the pains young mothers endure...to help my grandchild, my sisters and brothers first niece live a comfy little life till her crazed parents got it together.

Now this woman is saying that she just said that becasue she was angry with my son.

I don't know what to think. All I know is that I'm sad to a big degree. In some ways I think that if she is really not, this will give my son the opportunity to get it together next round...like a wife and a job before a baby! Not college and a bunch of girls!

The baby's been here since this news. Of course she was still treated the same. She is a baby. I still held her close to me and sang sweet lullabies and almost even cried when she cried knowing that whoever her paternal side might be, she is still her mother's and her mother already makes crazy decisions that will hurt that innocent baby, my grandbaby or not.

Sugaree

Its a sad state of affairs either way Sugar. Why hasn't your son taken a paternity test? It would end having to depend on what that lunatic says...

Sugar, you're so sweet. I guess your son will have to find a way to work through this himself. Kids. You're so right, it isn't the baby's fault and I'm so glad she has you in her life.

sugaree, I'm with chatty. I think your son should have the test done. Doesn't he have a strong desire to know the truth? The results can have a huge impact on how he continues to go about his life. If he's at school and knows he hasn't left his, I would think he could live a much fuller life without the guilt of leaving a baby behind.

Perhaps you will always have a strong influence on this child, but this all depends on the life of his mother.

It's great to see you back again!

oh my -- i read your post and wondered -- how would i feel if this was my son's situation

my heart just breaks for you and your family --

for your son's sake - i agree with dotsie and chatty about your son knowing where he stands in this baby's life

for you and your grandbaby -- its a terrible situation -- since you're both (basically) "outsiders" in this -- the mother holding all the cards and your son possibly having some say in it -- you're the ones that will wind up being hurt the most

My son is extremely confused now. He is very hurt by the idea that she may not be his own. He has bonded with this child as the rest of my family has. The evening she told/shouted this to him, he laid down with the covers over his face and stayed sleep for a very long time the next day. I do believe this broke him down to the little boy he really is. He cried. I cried too. My daughter didn't. She ignored that and went to get her neice anyway.

Chatty, here the state has to initiate the test usually generated by child support payments. If the child is his, the bill will be added to his child support bill. If he wants one sooner, he will have to fork over $500 that he does not have.

I can't even imagine not seeing this little baby's sweet smile. I feel like boohooing right now but I'm still at work...

Now this woman is really entitled to the fitting title, B-witch!

I wish I had words to help -- but this is just soooo heartbreaking a situation

grandparents are always the last ones people think of when splitting up -- but we are just as committed to that grandbaby as anyone

I feel so bad for your son too -- maybe he should see if there is a legal aide office that can give him some free advise ???

((((((((( sugaree )))))))

There has to be a less expensive way to have this test done. I would look up a list of local agencies and do my research. It's worth the time it may take to do so.

Ah, Sugaree,
I ache for you. My youngest grandaughter is not mine by blood-It was one of those-could have been, should have been things that make me want to scream but it's my son's life.
Jeffrey was there thru the pregnancy and birth and is the only dad she's ever known- so a sperm donar doesn't count- it takes love to make a dad---and a grandma
Blessings to all the hurting souls involved

Sugaree, I understand what you are going through. I have three grandchildren who live less than 7 miles from me, who are not allowed to come to visit me at my home. Their mom, who is divorced from my son, is afraid that my son will be here if they visit. He will not. Haven't seen him or talked to him in over two years, which is another story. But it just kills me to see what some parents do to their children. I hope you get the chance to still be a grandma, no matter what. My other 16 grandkids help fill the hole in my heart, but I still miss the three who can't visit. Hoping that when they can drive, they'll come and see me.