Thought I'd share some of my humorous poetry on the topic of aging. With all these aches and pains, you gotta laugh!

In Spite of Menopause

I'm still an Epicurean
in the first degree,
seeking satisfaction
in fervid fantasy.

Indulging my passions
with delicate cuisine,
caviar, chocolate mousse,
pleasures so obscene!

There's satin in my boudoir,
lace upon my breast,
and lavender oils to intensify
this invigorating quest.

Who needs a man to alleviate
their sensual desire?
Menopause is just no cause
to ignore a healthy fire!

Aging Without Grace

When I look in the mirror, I just want to cry!
I'm using more makeup and "I'm worth it" dye,
but I'm losing the battle with grey in my hair.
I'm finding more wrinkles than I'd like to wear!
My bladder's defiant! My hips are too wide!
My breasts are too saggy, but I still have my pride!
My hearing is fading. My eyesight is blurred!
My fantasies are boring and sex? It’s absurd!
My memory's failing! My knees seem to creak!
I'm tired and cranky and I think there's a leak!
I search for the answers to all of my flaws.
Is it my DNA or just menopause?
Every day I'm alive, I'm glad I exist,
but please tell me why this aging persists?
Growing old is a journey we all have to make
but that face in the mirror must be a mistake!
My mother is NOT the woman I see!
(They shoot horses don't they?)
Just kidding! It's me!

And one I wrote for a friend:

Old Age My Ass!

It’s finally official,
I’m a senior citizen,
but don’t write me off so quickly.
Do not call my next of kin.
Though I may collect a check,
I’m not ready to retire.
Just because I’m sixty two
doesn’t mean there is no fire.
When you meet me, do not judge me
by my bent and shrinking frame,
for inside this aging body,
there’s a pretty sexy dame!
All these sags and bags you see?
They are marks of my success!
I’m a crone and very proud
of the wisdom I possess.
It has been a long, long journey
but I won’t give in to grey!
Maybe next year I’ll surrender
and let nature have its way.
Athough I can not stop the clock,
I can laugh and have some fun.
Maybe I’ll consider old age
when I turn one hundred and one!


© 2004 SMJ-All Rights Reserved

Hope no one is offended!