Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old, as long as she buys him a few drinks first.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my Memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.

I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

I think I've reached my sexpiration date.

The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at our boobs. The bad news is they have to squat down first.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."

Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old.. You grow old because you stop laughing.

THE SENILITY PRAYER

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the
difference.

Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10 people. Oh heck, just send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who
they are.

Oh Meredith,

That was great! I especially loved the senility prayer!

Nothing like starting the day with a chuckle!

d.

I am still laughing at this. They say laughter is good for the soul. If thats true my soul just got a huge dose of GOOD...thanks Meredith.

This is just too funny!
Thank you for sharing it!

Very uplifting, Meredith...I printed off the Senility Prayer and will try to make a fridge magnet with it. Thanks!