I received this in my email a couple of days ago. I wonder why I haven't thought of this .

Cheers,
Cathi


Good Housekeeping Tip:

Always keep several get well cards on the mantel..... so if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you've been sick and unable to clean.

I hadn't heard it - but I like it! Too bad I don't have a mantel. Do you think leaving them on the kitchen counter would work? Of course they'd probably just blend in with the rest of the 'stuff'. Sigh. Maybe I could hang them from a string like a mobile...yeah, that's it. Thanks for the tip!

Tell people you have an incurable disease and dust is the only antidote!

JJ

Oh, I love this idea. And yeah ... kitchen counter would work.

Hugs and blessings, Francine

Here are a few more good excuses.

1. Don't vacuum too often— it weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.

2. If disturbed, dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands," and claim an ecological exemption.

3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5, and leave it alone.

4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.

6. Explain away the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children.

7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed, and the shots are SO expensive."

8. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes."

9. Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, "Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident. I haven't had the heart to clean it."

10. Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, "I clean and I clean, and I still don't get anywhere."

chick

OMG, these are the perfect housekeeping tips. Instead of pine scented cleaner, I use bleach. It smells "cleaner". GRIN!!!

I used this line once when guests came early, during the obligatory house tour:

11. "I was about to make the bed when the doorbell rang, and of course I didn't want to make you wait. Just IMAGINE that the bed is made, OK?"

My friend said she was going to steal my excuse and use it for her guests!

[ June 28, 2005, 03:51 AM: Message edited by: meredithbead ]