Women over 50
by Andy Rooney

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 50 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting. A woman over 50 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whomever.
Few women past the age of 50 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 50 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 50 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age.You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50. They always know. A woman over 50 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 50+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

<Laughing out Loud> <What genius!>

Wow! That was excellent! I want to share it with all my over 50 friends, and their male friends too. Thanks for posting this. Love and Light, Lynn

I have to use that closing line someday

Amen Vicki. I've seen this before. Still love it. Andy's my hero! Do you think he really wrote this?

That is the first time I've seen it. How astute of Andy! The closing line caught me by surprise and made me laugh hysterically! Too funny!!

Thanks for sharing.